The bedroom was tidy, with fresh sheets on the bed, something Sean hadn’t done. He stood near the bed, away from the door, gazing down at the light purple comforter without really focusing on it. He tapped her pink heart icon and then the green button to call her. The phone rang once before she picked up.
She was silent, except for the lightest sound of her breathing.
“Don’t talk if you can’t,” Sean said quietly.
He tried to picture her in the attic, and reminded himself that North was there, too. Hopefully not on speaker...
“Sang,” he said and then when she didn’t reply at all, he didn’t know what to say. Eventually, everything he was thinking started coming out of his mouth. “I don’t know how we’re going to do this, but we’re doing it. We’ll get you out of that house. I hate that you’re there. One way or another, as soon as we can, you’ll be out. I know you’re not happy right now...”
There was the slightest swallowing noise, her breath becoming a little heavier.
Sean held the phone with both hands, listening to every little noise she made. Nervous breath. Shaking, perhaps. “It’s too much, isn’t it?” he asked, feeling his resolve melting. “Is it? We can get you out now if we need to. I know this isn’t what you want. Do you need me to come get you?”
A slight intake of breath. “We can’t...” she whispered.
His heart surged, and he grasped the phone tighter. “We can,” he seethed. “It’s all wrong. Isn’t it? It’s not supposed to be like this. We can’t hide you in an attic for months until they agree to a school. There’s too many variables.”
“I’m fine,” she whispered slowly, with a crack at the end, the way she did when she wasn’t being honest.
He tilted his head forward, closing his eyes. A loud sigh escaped his mouth. “Kota’s right, you are a horrible liar.”
She swallowed and then blew out a soft breath, too, and her breathing was heavier.
Sean listened. If North was there, he was ignoring this, or she was being careful enough with what she said around him.
He’d bulldoze her out of there in a heartbeat if Sean said the word or pushed Sang enough that she agreed to leave now, despite any consequences in the moment.
With the silence that lingered, and her breathing into the phone deepening, like she was forcing herself to be calm, he knew he was right. After the calamity at the camp, after her breakdown, and then fainting... coming back to this...
Sean sat down hard on his bed. He leaned forward, pressing the phone to his face, resting his elbows on his knees and staring at the floor. “Sang, you’re hanging in there, I know. I wish I was like Owen, to tell you everything is going to be okay...”
He heard the click of the doorknob. The door opened.
He didn’t even bother to look up. He knew it was Owen. Who knew how much he’d heard, but Sean really didn’t care now.
He sniffed slowly through his nose and redirected. “I’ll be here for you,” he said quietly, closing his eyes. “We don’t have to go through with anything you don’t want. We can work this out.”
“Okay,” she whispered and then started to say something else but stopped.
The bed shifted as Owen sat next to him on the bed. Sean remained still, straining to hear any little thing she might want, or if she asked him to get her out of there...
“Let her sleep,” Owen whispered.
Sean pressed a palm over his own eyes and said what he needed to say. “I’ll be there tomorrow morning. Listen to North. Get some sleep. That’s the first step. Nothing will happen tonight, and we’re watching to make sure nothing ever will. Oh, and skip breakfast for me. Don’t eat or drink anything except water after midnight tonight. I’ll do some bloodwork tomorrow.” What a horrible thing to bring up now. Needed to be done, but ugh.
“Okay.”
Sean waited, wanting to say more, wishing she were here so she could really be honest and not have to be so quiet.
Owen placed a palm on his back, warming the spot between his shoulder blades.
Sean bit his lip to stop himself from begging her to say what she was thinking. Owen was trying to be supportive, but it was only making things worse. Sean didn’t need comfort. Sang did. She was the one sleeping in an attic, her world possibly exploding if Carol pushed anyone in that house too far.
And God help that lady if she did anything to Sang right now. Or that boy, for that matter...
“Get some sleep, sweetheart,” Sean forced himself to say. “Sleep and then come see me. That’s all you need do. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
She said a soft goodnight and hung up.
He had it as bad as Kota. As the screen went dark, he dropped the phone, like Kota had done. The phone smacked flat against the rug and stilled.
Little satisfaction. He didn’t want to be so angry and frustrated. He wanted her out.
Like she wanted to be.
Owen pressed at his back. “She’ll be okay.”
“We tell her that,” Sean said, and pressed his palms to his eyes to keep his emotions in check. “This feels wrong.”
“Give us a chance to work out a plan. In a few months, it’ll all be over. She’ll be out without consequences.”
“If she survives that long,” Sean said, breaking away from him. He crossed the room to look out the window, glaring at the glow of the streetlamp darkening the rose bushes to make them look sinister. “She was already weak going in. This may crush her.”
“She’ll be okay if we stay strong,” he said. Sean sensed him standing. He could picture the stern looks he was getting. “She draws strength from us. If we break down around her, so will she.”
“So we fake being brave so she can hide everything she’s really thinking and feeling?” Sean asked. “Is that what we’ve come to? Let’s do the proper thing, be quiet and pretend like nothing is wrong while everyone is really miserable. This is the worst plan ever.”
“It can’t be helped right now.”
“It could if we did something about it.” Sean turned on Owen, glaring at him. Owen was wearing his usual shirt and tie, although he’d taken off the coat. Always ready to look perfect, hiding how he felt. “Aren’t you tired of skirting around this?” He snapped his fingers sharply. “One word from us. One request from the Academy. We could get her out of there. She could be here right now.”
Owen’s lips tightened. “You don’t know the result. We’d be risking everything.”
“We’re risking her at this very moment,” Sean said, eyes blazing. He seethed. “Do you not hear it from her?”
“Did she tell you something?” he asked, his eyes widening behind his black-rimmed glasses. “What did she say?”
“Grrr...nothing,” Sean said, regretting saying it like this and wishing he could lie for her sake. He knew what Owen would say before he even finished. “She wouldn’t let herself tell me what she was thinking.”
“Then you don’t know what she’s really thinking.”
Sean grasped a handful of his own hair and tugged at it, the sharp pain not providing relief to the cold, tearing at his chest. “She’s stressed, Owen. She fainted. We asked a lot of her at camp, and now we’ve weighed her down with this.”
“She can handle it.”
“She shouldn’t have to!”
There was a sound down the hallway, like the kitchen door opening and shutting. “Boys? Tabemasho.”
Let’s eat.
Sean rolled his eyes. He couldn’t relax in his own house now because for years, they’d made his mother believe things were perfect in their lives. It was the lie they went through every time with her. Owen was constantly picking up after him, even when she wasn’t around. He got Sean to his classes on time. He even checked in with Sean’s mother to let her know if he advanced in his career.
He leaned in close to Owen and whispered harshly, “And now I’ve got my mother here. Here I am, again, pretending to be perfect for the sake of harmony...I swear, sometimes I think we got th
e wrong mothers. You should have had her growing up, and then she would have the son she really wanted. The one she thinks I am.”
Owen lowered his head and kept his lips pressed tight. He went to the door, holding the handle, staring at the floor. “We’re all stressed,” he said calmly. “We’ll eat dinner and go to bed early. You’ll want to leave early to meet Sang. Don’t forget to stop by the hospital on the way to get what you need.”
Sean grumbled but put on a good-boy smile for him, large and toothy.
He wasn’t wrong, they all needed sleep and to get a clear head.
However, deep in his gut, Sean knew this was a mistake. Kota was right to be upset.
Getting on Carol’s good side was risky. It meant Sang pretending to be something she wasn’t. Hiding the truth, hiding her feelings, hiding who she really was. It wasn’t just the risk of exposure. It was the future in question. How long would she have to pretend?
Setting up expectations around Carol like this meant Sang might be stuck for a very long time...
Dire Temptations
SANG
North was on top of me.