Nadia thought about calling him, and she had her hand on her cell phone to do so when it rang. She jumped with surprise, dropping the device onto the floorboard with a small curse. Nadia put her hand down, straining to reach the phone, barely getting it back to her ear before it stopped ringing. “Hello?”
She had half-expected it to be Sawyer, so her first response to the familiar voice on the other end of the line was actually disappointment. “Oh, hello, Timothy.” A second later, her excitement swelled. He had responded favorably to her emails, but he hadn’t reached out to her in any fashion beyond accepting the emails she had sent him since Sawyer’s juvenile display of jealousy at the party.
“Are you free this evening, Nadia? I have a friend in from out of town, and I’m sure you’d enjoy meeting him. He’s adept at building racing teams, and he competed for the Louis Vuitton Cup several times, and challenged once for the America’s Cup a little more than a decade ago. You might know Hugo Blackwell?”
She barely avoided letting out a fan-girl squeal of excitement. “Yes, course I’ve heard of him.” She congratulated herself on sounding so cool and professional when inside she was a bouncing five-year-old looking forward to a first pony ride. “I’m sure I can meet you sometime this evening, and I appreciate you thinking of me.”
After working out the details and writing down the meeting spot, Nadia slid the phone back in her purse. It was only as they neared the city that she recalled she had planned to call Sawyer to see if he could meet her for lunch before she just showed up. With a shake of her head, she decided she wouldn’t give him the chance to refuse. She would simply show up and see what happened.
She expected Paige to try to keep her out, but the other woman greeted her with a simpering smile they didn’t quite reach her eyes and indicated she should go on in. It was a surprise, but perhaps the other woman had accepted Sawyer’s rejection and had acknowledged Nadia’s role in his life. She must have been okay with it, at least enough to keep her job, because Nadia was certain he wouldn’t have tolerated continued attempts to make a pass at him—unless he’d decided he was interested after all.
Her stomach churned with the thought. She tapped on his door, but didn’t wait for an invitation to enter. When she slipped inside, Sawyer looked up from his desk, and his first expression was pleased surprise. Her stomach dropped when that vanished a second later, replaced by cool indifference.
She closed the door behind her, engaging the lock instinctively. Not that she expected any sexual shenanigans to occur that would require privacy. Her reason was more pragmatic. If they were going to have a relationship talk, she certainly didn’t want the blonde interfering or interrupting them.
She firmed her shoulders, summoning courage and confidence born from years of being independent. If things were over, they were over. She would survive. A slight hitch in her breath tried to tell her otherwise, as did the pang in her chest, but she ignored both reactions. True, she had never had her heart broken, but she had los
t her papa unexpectedly, and she couldn’t imagine grieving an ended relationship could be any worse than losing a dearly loved parent.
Her heels tapped briskly on the travertine floor as she strode to the desk, pausing on the side where there was an empty chair. Nadia dropped into it without invitation, crossing her legs and resting her hands on the armrests as though she was completely relaxed. “We need to talk.”
The last time she had uttered those words, he had made a flip remark and had been his most charming self. This time, he simply nodded solemnly. “Yes, we do.”
“What’s going on with you, Sawyer? You’ve been so distant the past few days.”
He lifted his shoulder in a shrug. “I’ve just been busy. Lots of things distracting me.” His gaze darted to the door, before looking back at her.
Her lips tightened, and she hadn’t missed the subtle inference about Paige. At least, she inferred that’s what the sly look had meant. Perhaps that was why the blonde hadn’t protested her attempt to enter his office. Paige must have known this was coming. Perhaps the idiot even believed Sawyer was replacing Nadia with her in a permanent capacity.
She almost snorted with laughter at the thought, though there was no true amusement in it. She nearly felt sorry for Paige, and mainly because she understood how a woman could fall for Sawyer despite her best efforts not to. He could make her believe things that were contrary to her very nature, make her embrace new ideas, and even consider giving up her own wants and dreams for him all without ever making a single promise of something beyond today. “I see.”
He leaned back in his chair, which squeaked slightly at the motion. “I’ve had a mess to figure out here with all the paperwork, and I’ve just entered negotiations to have someone purchase this hellhole, so I haven’t had time for any frivolous conversations.”
She almost winced at the mockery in his tone, but kept her expression as aloof as his. She would not break in front of him, and she certainly wasn’t going to shed tears over Sawyer Sinclair. If she had been dumb enough to let herself fall in love with him, she deserved what she got. She had known what kind of man he was, and here she was in this position anyway. “You’ve decided to sell then?”
He nodded. “I’m not going to spend the rest of my life chained to this desk, like my father did. He threw his life away on this place, but I won’t make that mistake.”
“No, you’ll just throw away your life on a series of meaningless flings and self-indulgent pursuits. I think I feel sorry for you, Sawyer. In a way, you’re just chained as your father was, or at least you seem to believe he was. He devoted his life to this company, and you’ve devoted your life to you. What a selfish bastard you can be.”
He smirked. “I’m the most important person in my life, babe. I owe it to me to live each day to the fullest, and that doesn’t include running a company or settling down as a husband with a passel of children.”
Nadia swallowed thickly, feeling her shell crack just a little and trying to shore it up. “I don’t believe I ever asked you to play hubby or father any children with me, did I?” Something teased the back of her mind, but she pushed it away, needing to maintain her focus so she didn’t crumble into an emotional heap. “I never asked for a permanent commitment from you, and I don’t deserve the lousy way you’ve treated me like one of your other bimbos.”
“How else would I treat you when it’s over?” He seemed genuinely puzzled by her comments. “We had something different, like you said, but it was never meant to be permanent. You have your dreams, and I have mine, and they don’t coincide.”
Sadness welled, but she swallowed down the lump in her throat. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. I’m not willing to give up my dreams for you, and I can see why a shallow life full of partying and sex would appeal to a man like you far more than a serious, stable relationship. I just feel terrible for your family. They think you’ve actually changed.”
His eyes narrowed. “Leave my family out of it.”
“Like you do?” She shook her head, sadness deepening, but this time it was solely for him and what he was depriving himself of in his hedonistic pursuits. For whatever reason, he believed his shallow lifestyle as a playboy was more fulfilling than accepting the responsibility of being fully integrated into his family, instead of a fringe participant. Whatever his reasons, they didn’t make any sense to her, and she lost the respect for him that had been building over the past few weeks. “I’ll be out of your home as soon as possible.”
“Take your time. I’m stuck at the office most of the time anyway, at least for now.”
She nodded, knowing she would be gone within a few days. Part of her wanted to rush out right then, never to look back, but she couldn’t imagine leaving without parting from Caitlin, Harold, and Kiersten. They would need some sort of explanation, though if they knew Sawyer at all, it wouldn’t take them long to realize he had grown restless and moved on.
There was also the upcoming meeting with Timothy and Hugo, and there was no way she was going to miss that. Her dreams were abruptly front and center again, and she was no longer willing to sacrifice them for the man Sawyer was, not the man she had thought he was becoming.
Without speaking, she rose from the chair and walked out of his office without looking back. She maintained a straight spine with squared shoulders, her face an impassive blank as she stepped out of the building a few minutes later and hailed a cab. It was far too early to head toward her meeting place, so she would just wander around the shops for a while first to try to clear her mind.