Though Bailey knew all about it, I hadn’t told my brother. But the stunned look on his face did lighten the mood.
I laughed. “It’s wrong of me, right? Like I should be able to get past that.”
He held up a hand, chuckling and looking faintly ill at the same time. “Please, no more.”
“I tried. Honestly, I did. But I like dick.”
He held up a finger. “Enough with the dick talk. As far as I’m concerned, you’re as pure as the Virgin Mary.”
I tossed back my head and let all my pent-up emotions escape in a fit of laughter. “I think I deserve this moment considering all the times I had to put up with you screwing a girl in your room, your bed post hitting the wall we shared while whomever it was screamed your name.”
His smirk was back, and I was happy for it.
“Good times,” he said.
“Yeah, and I was always the one left to pretend those girls were friends of mine when Mom and Dad caught them staying over for the night.”
“Great wingman, you,” he said.
“There is a guy that intrigues me,” I said, changing the subject. With Bailey gone overseas and not easily reached, I decided to overshare with my brother about the guy from the bar. “He’s an ass.”
“Your type.” All his humor was gone. I knew he was remembering the past and the one he couldn’t save me from.
“Exactly. So why the fuck do I always have to like a guy who’s bad for me?”
“You don’t have to.”
“I do. I tried. I tried really hard with Hans. But it just didn’t work.” I rolled my head around my shoulders, trying to work out the kinks.
“Just because that dickhead Roach was a weasel doesn’t mean you have to date every guy with only one foot out of a prison. I bet this new one has tats and wears all black.”
I bit my lower lip, trying hard to contain a smile, and he groaned out of frustration.
“Take it from me, he’s probably bad news,” Matty said. “He’ll use you like he’s conquering some princess, then toss you aside.”
“He did call me a princess,” I said.
“Do us both a favor and find a guy with a job.”
That didn’t at all sound appealing. “Could you imagine me as a corporate wife, attending brunches with stuck-up former prom queens thinking they’re better than me?”
“You’d put them in their place.”
“I’d be bored.” I sighed.
“You’d be safe.”
I could have easily tossed it back in his face. But then I wondered why my brother and I were attracted to danger. Our parents had raised us to be safe and happy. But life wasn’t always predictable. My mind returned to the red-hot guy dressed in black, dangerous and sexy. I wanted him.
Maybe I wanted him because he’d acted as though he didn’t want me. I was confident if I got one night, he’d be on his knees, begging for me. Then maybe I could walk away with my head held high.
Everything changed before I left Chicago when I got a call from Kalen. My apartment had been vandalized and between him and Mike, they had a plan for my safety.TwoConnor
A few weeks laterThe club used to soothe my soul, and lately it hadn’t. I felt restless as ever and needed to do something with the energy thrumming through my veins, especially because I’d given up the occasional smoke that brought calm.
There was one place I could channel that energy. It wasn’t my place in Manhattan. Instead I headed for my apartment in Soho. Though I’d talked to my brother, Kalen, about selling it, it was the place where I kept all my painting supplies. On nights like these, I put all my unsettling thoughts on canvas for my eyes only. I’d thought I’d gotten past the need to work out my demons, but I was wrong. I would have to tell Kalen I’d changed my mind and get the extra keys I’d given him.
Upon arrival, I had to make a stop on the second floor before I could cleanse my soul.
I knocked and waited, unconcerned about the late hour. Carrie would answer. She’d know it was me. The door opened and a stunning brunette with shy, rounded eyes answered.
“Sir,” she said automatically and stepped back.
I entered, though I should have reminded her our agreement had ended some time ago. A quick look over her gave me cause for concern. “Have you eaten today?”
She looked as though she’d lost weight, not that she’d ever weighed more than her full breasts and exceptional ass.
“I—” she began.
I tsked and gave her a hard-eyed stare. “We talked about this. You have to take care of yourself.”
“Why?” she asked with a bluster I hadn’t seen before.
Good girl, I thought, and managed only a lip twitch when a full-blown smile wanted to play across my lips. Instead, I arched a brow, which had the immediate effect I was looking for.