He sighed. “I’m on a tough assignment right now.”
“You’re a cop. Aren’t all assignments difficult?” I asked.
“A federal one.”
For a second, I tried to figure out what he meant. “Wait. What? You’re a Fed? FBI?”
“Undercover,” he replied. “I’m working undercover for some bad fucking people, Lizzy. Honestly, you shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I don’t want you caught in it.”
I couldn’t speak. It was one thing for my brother to lie about being a cop. It was another that he was in so much danger. I could be too.
“You’re kidding, right?” I shouted because he couldn’t be serious. He nodded. “And you’re only telling me now?” I had a hard time accepting, but the look on his face cured me of that.
“You said you weren’t sure if you were coming, then I get a call that you’re boarding a plane.”
“I didn’t think I had to make appointments to see my brother. But maybe if I’d known he was a Fed,” I shouted.
He’d told us he was uncover but with the Chicago Police Department, not the Feds.
He shook his head. “Well, now you know, and you can’t tell a soul. I mean it. Not even our parents or Bailey.”
“How long?” I asked, still thunderstruck.
“How long what?”
“How long have you been doing this?”
“I’ve been working with them since college,” he admitted. “And I’m only telling you because I trust you with my life.” I opened my mouth to say something snarky like we shared a womb, so he better, but he shut me down. “We can’t talk about this now. We’re almost to my place.”
My eyes widened. “What, is it bugged?”
He shrugged. “I do a daily sweep, but you never know.”
“I can’t believe this,” I said, shaking my head.
“Look, when we get there, I need you not to act like my sister.”
That was a jaw-dropping statement. “I’m not going to pretend to be your girlfriend either, eww.”
“No. But for your safety, I don’t want anyone to think you mean anything to me at all.”
“Like a hookup?”
He shrugged again, but I could tell he was stressed. “Yes and no. Just pretend we’re less than family or friends in public, okay?”
“And if they’re watching your place?”
“It a weekend hookup. As long as they don’t see a pattern of us being together, it should be fine.”
“Okay,” I agreed, stewing on my concern for him. Like Bailey, Matty was my best friend. I couldn’t imagine life without him. “You’re worried about me, but I’m worried about you.”
He took my hand and gave it a squeeze. Then we were pulling into the garage of his building and I had to bottle all the questions I had.
As soon as we walked into his apartment, I turned on him. “Gosh, Matt, you live like a slob.”
“It’s not like I have a lot of time here,” he said.
Clothes were everywhere, like piles of them. I wasn’t sure when he’d done laundry last. Trash was overflowing with pizza boxes and other take-out food containers. I was about to suggest a maid, but he gave me the stink-eye while waving some sort of instrument over every inch of his apartment.
“Are you hungry?” I asked, sure that was a safe question.
He stared at me. “Are you ordering out?”
I gave him a flick of my middle finger. “I can make breakfast.”
He didn’t bother to respond, and I laughed, going to the fridge. Ultimately, I made us omelets and toast, and he shoveled in food as if he were eating his last meal. That thought soured my mood some.
“Good, huh?” I teased.
“Don’t be weird, Liz.”
I glared at him. I didn’t like anyone calling me Liz.
“It’s my job.” Since he’d checked for bugs, apparently, we were free to talk.
“Do you have a death wish?” The venom in my voice was a bit unexpected, even for me.
“No.”
“So, what was that thing with Bailey? You came to New York and professed your feelings when you’re working a dangerous job?”
He looked surprised I would mention Bailey. “You know I’ve liked her. It was my one chance.”
He looked away as I focused on his eyes marred by dark circles. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days.
“When did you want a girlfriend anyway? That was the reason you stayed away from her because you hadn’t wanted one. What’s changed?”
I hadn’t had a chance to really talk to him about it until now.
“I’m fucking lonely, Lizzy.”
That statement surprised me. My brother had always acted as if he didn’t care about having a partner.
“Working this job has made me realize I want what Mom and Dad have. Don’t you?”
Our parents had been married for over twenty-five years.
“Truth?” When he nodded, I said, “When I see how Kalen is with Bailey, I’m so freaking envious.”
“What about Hans?” he asked.
Hans. Beautiful and kind, nearly perfect in every way. “His dick is the size of a mini lipstick.”