The sensation was almost too much, the friction her undoing. The pressure gathered and built, and then coalesced into a single, brilliant point of blinding pleasure. Jamie gave a deep groan, and as he found his release, pulsing strongly inside her, she contracted tightly around him as wave after wave crashed over her, until finally she collapsed against him.
Her face was buried in the crook of his neck, and beneath her palm his heart beat hard and fast. Reaching down, he snagged the corner of a quilt folded at the foot of the bed and dragged it over them both. Rachel moved to his side and flung an arm across his chest, and a leg over his hips. His shoulder cushioned her head as she smothered a yawn. The combination of the long drive from Bozeman, the hot shower and the even hotter sex, made Rachel feel suddenly drowsy. Beneath the quilt, their combined body heat made for a warm cocoon, and she snuggled closer to Jamie.
“Oh, this is nice,” she murmured.
“You bet,” he agreed, his voice warm and fuzzy with contentment. He was quiet for a long moment. “Did you mean what you said earlier? Deke never told you how gorgeous you are?”
Rachel shifted. She didn’t want to talk about Deke. “Maybe in the beginning—I don’t really remember.”
He made a sound that said he didn’t believe her, but thankfully didn’t pursue the topic. But Rachel couldn’t help recalling the awful things Deke had said to her, in front everyone who had been there that day. By the time Deke had finished disparaging her in every way possible, whatever had been left of Rachel’s self-esteem had been completely destroyed.
But with Jamie, she felt her former confidence returning. He made her feel good about herself. He made her feel excited about her future. He made her laugh the way she hadn’t in years. He made her feel young and vibrant again.
Beside her, Jamie’s breathing had deepened, and she knew he was nearly asleep. Despite all the positive feelings he engendered in her, she couldn’t help feeling panicky.
Things were out of control. Their relationship had gotten way too serious, way too intense, way too quickly. She’d lost her perspective. She no longer had the ability to think rationally where Jamie was concerned.
Was he too young? She wanted a family, but maybe he wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment. She didn’t even know if she was ready for that kind of commitment. A week ago, she’d just about sworn off men altogether.
How would their families feel if they announced they were a couple? Jamie was her younger brother’s best friend, and she already knew Dylan disapproved. She’d endured the blatant disapproval of Deke’s parents; she wasn’t sure she could handle that from Jamie’s parents.
He’d told her he wanted to rejoin his unit, but what did that mean? Would he deploy overseas again? Would they be separated by time and distance, the way she and Deke had been? What kind of relationship could work under those conditions?
The troubling thoughts tumbled through her head as she lay awake, staring at the ceiling and listening to Jamie’s breathing. She didn’t have the answers, but she knew she had to make some decisions soon, before she fell completely and hopelessly in love with the man.
She was afraid it might already be too late.
Chapter Fifteen
Rachel rose early and crept out to the kitchen, leaving Jamie to sleep.
In the kitchen, she went through the motions of making coffee, like an automaton. She felt wrung out, both physically and emotionally. She didn’t think she’d slept more than a few hours all night, going back and forth in her head about all the reasons she and Jamie were wrong for each other.
And all the reasons they were right.
As the coffee dripped, she pictured him in the bedroom, sprawled on his back in bed, his gorgeous mouth slack in sleep, naked beneath the sheets. A wave of doubt washed over her. If she ended things, was she prepared never to see him like that again? Never hear his breath catch as she touched him intimately? Never watch his face tighten in pleasure, or hear the deep, appreciative sounds he made as she took him into her body?
Pouring herself a steaming mug of coffee, Rachel opened the sliding doors to the patio and stepped outside, breathing in the cool morning air. The yard was in shadow except for the patio table and chair, and Rachel sat down for a moment, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face. The ring of the phone in her pocket startled her and she fished it out, knowing it would be Jamie. Did she dare answer?
Only it wasn’t Jamie, it was her mother.
Drawing a deep breath, Rachel answered.
“Hi Mom, you’re up early.” She picked up her coffee mug and curled her fingers around its warmth.