If I could’ve talked to Greg about it, then my trauma might not have lasted as long as it did. But since I also had to keep everything a secret from my dad, the pain and anger just seemed to pile up inside of me until I felt like I was a pressure cooker about to burst.
But because I had always been the practical sort, I also knew that letting my rage consume me wouldn’t benefit anyone. To “fix” myself, I had taken advantage of toll-free helplines that offered phone counseling, volunteered for community service to remind myself that other people still had it worse than me, and afterwards, when I earned my first paycheck from my part-time job, I had also decided to invest in a portable Nintendo gaming console and started playing Animal Crossing: New Leaf.
And honestly?
Even after all these years, I’d say that was still one of the best decisions of my life. There was just something about the game that calmed the fuck out of me, and I had enjoyed it so much that I started for looking online for other players to connect to.
The way this game worked, you were a mayor of your own town, which you could build and design as you wished. You could also visit other players’ towns, and it was through one of these visits that I ended up “meeting” Johnny.
I had been seventeen by then, and Johnny two years older, and at the start, we had just been friendly with each other, exchanging messages online. It was only when he knew I had turned eighteen that he asked if we could meet up in real life, and although I had never said yes to this, I did eventually trust him enough to exchange photos and tell him the truth about myself.
Shitty stuff went down in high school because of my evil identical twin that no one knew about, and now I’m just this total loner, with zero social media presence and sub-zero interest in having guy friends in real life, because who knew when Dahlia would strike again?
Since the words sounded completely bogus even to my own ears, a part of me had been resigned to having Johnny think I was this loser making up lies for no reason. But instead…he had believed me. Even more, he respected my decision not to meet up, and we had remained sort of friends after that.
Sort of being the operative word because…sometimes, there would be this silence between us, and every time it happened, I found myself wondering, what if…what if…
“I wanted to be the first one to tell you,” Johnny said nervously. “I’m, um…Dahlia and I…we’re together now.”
What if…I just solve all of my problems by killing my twin?
Dear Ms. Teller,
We are sorry to say that Sec. IX Rule 7 of Contract RE-058-ST specifically prohibits the release of any video material pertaining to the nature of your employment. Your request for a copy of the transcript of the interview, however, has been approved by the employer and the file of which is attached below.
We hope that this document may be of assistance, and please do not hesitate to contact our firm if you have any other concerns.
Sincerely,
Al-Dimashqi & Ghazali LLC
Interviewee: (Name Redacted, Code: 058)
Age 22, Female, Resident of Miami, Florida
Interviewer: Representative of Al-Dimashqi & Ghazali LLC, Code: LLC
Date: (Redacted)
Place: (Redacted)
Duration: (Redacted)
Location: (Redacted)
LLC: Thank you for your interest in joining our program. You have stated in your application form that you have been referred by (name redacted, Code: 058-A). May we know your relation to 058-A?
058: She was my mother’s best friend in high school. We’ve kept in touch through the years, and she’s been like a second mom to me.
LLC: What made you decide to apply?
058: My dad…he’s not getting any younger, and it hurts me to see him still working so hard even at his age. That’s why…when I learned about this, I know you’re going to think I’m silly, but I felt like it was God’s answer to my prayers.
LLC: I see.
058: Are there any specific qualifications or requirements that you’re looking for?
LLC: If you remember, you were asked to sign a consent form along with your application?
058: Yes.
LLC: We’ve since used this to obtain your most recent health records from your university.
058: Oh.
LLC: Due to the nature of the program, we have the strictest health standards, and only applicants able to meet these can be considered. I think I’m permitted to say that your prospective employer was very pleased when he viewed your health records. But may I confirm certain details?
058: Yes, of course.
LLC: You have never smoked?
058: Never.
LLC: You also indicated that you seldom drink?
058: You’re going to think I’m silly again, and maybe terribly old-fashioned, but those things never appealed to me.
LLC: These things, as you say, are what actually worked in your favor. And now, we move on to your academic records.