All three men scowled at the reminder that the woman they loved had spent three heartbreaking years homeless after suffering a devastating loss. It made Callie’s heart twist too, and just the image that Lily invoked made Callie reach over and squeeze her hand.
Lily looked at them all in bewilderment for a moment before she seemed to realize why they’d reacted. Her expression softened and then she smiled at each in turn. “If I hadn’t lived on the streets, if I hadn’t experienced the sorrow I did, I would have never found and loved all of you. ”
“That doesn’t mean we want to even think of you being out there hungry and alone,” Michael muttered.
Callie sympathized with her brothers. So much of Lily’s past she seemed to take in stride. She’d blossomed from wounded bird to a fierce eagle. She seemed so complacent and at peace with her past, and yet it still bothered her husbands immensely. Not a day went by that they didn’t do all they could to make Lily feel loved and cherished.
She sighed. Watching her fathers with her mother and her brothers with Lily brought home all the things she wanted in a man. All the things she thought she’d found in Max. Maybe she’d expected too much. Maybe they’d broken the mold when the Colter men were fashioned. Maybe no one would ever live up to the example set by her fathers and brothers.
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sp; It was a depressing thought because after witnessing just how much her mother and Lily were adored by their husbands, Callie knew she could never settle for anything less than what they’d found.
Her chest ached and she had the strangest urge to cry all over again. She’d sworn she was done grieving for Max, but she felt worse today knowing that he was just a few miles away than she had when she’d first come home to nurse the wounds he’d inflicted on her.
She pushed up from the table, no longer trusting herself to keep it together in front of her brothers. She made a point of taking her plate into the kitchen so that it would appear as if she’d simply finished her meal.
She scraped the half-eaten food into the trash and then turned the water on in the sink to rinse it. She was staring at the rushing water when Seth put a hand on her shoulder.
“What’s bothering you, baby?”
Her heart ached at the endearment. Seth had called her baby since she was a toddler. She’d adored him growing up. Always the oldest. Always the one in charge. Michael and Dillon had tormented him relentlessly, but he’d always been the one Callie could run to when the chips were down.
He’d held her hand on her first day of kindergarten despite the fact he was at an age where being seen with his younger sister was decidedly uncool. He’d walked her all the way to class and had been there at the end of the day to walk her down the street to the sheriff’s department where their mom picked them up.
There’d never been a time when she’d held back from him. He’d nursed her through countless crushes. He’d sympathized when she’d had her heart broken by her prom date and even offered to escort her to the dance himself. As if she’d really show up with her brother. Instead they’d downloaded movies and spent the evening eating junk food and laughing over ridiculous disaster movies.
But now she simply couldn’t communicate the depth of her heartache to him. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him. It had been difficult to confide even in Lily. And she’d only done so because she’d felt she’d burst if she didn’t unburden herself to someone.
Her family lamented the fact that she was such a loner and that she’d always gone her own way. Free-spirited was the kinder description they attributed to her. She was sure there were some less complimentary words they murmured to themselves. Flighty. Indecisive.
The simple fact was that even in a family as large and as loving as hers, a part of her always felt like she was on the outside. Even more so now that her brothers had done as her fathers and married the same woman.
And here she stood, the oddball. The one daughter in the midst.
“You asked me to back off before,” Seth said when she remained silent. “I respected your wishes, but you seem even sadder now. Can’t you tell me what’s going on?”
She winced at the subtle hurt in his voice. She forced a smile and then leaned up to brush a kiss across his cheek. “I love you, Seth. Don’t push me. I’m dealing with this the best way I know how. ”
He didn’t look happy. He looked like he wanted to shake her.
Then she frowned. “And don’t go leaning on Lily for information. You’d put her in a terrible position. You know how loyal she is. She’d feel like she shouldn’t keep anything from you and then it would upset her that she’d betrayed me. ”
Seth looked extremely disgruntled over how neatly Callie had prevented him from doing just that.
“You’re a manipulative minx,” he muttered.
She grinned cheekily. “You love me. ”
His expression grew serious and he reached out to cup her chin. “Yes I do love you, kiddo, and I hate to see you hurting. You know you can come to me with anything. ”
“You can’t fix this for me, Seth. I know it goes against your every grain for me to say that because in your mind you’d do whatever it took. This is something I have to deal with on my own, and you know what? I can do it. I’ve been standing on my own two feet for years now. ”
He sighed. “Yeah. I’m proud of you, you know. ”
Her eyebrow went up.
He pulled her into a hug and she laid her head on his chest, soaking up the comfort her big brother always managed to give. Being home was the absolute best. The mountain was her haven. Her one safe place she could return to no matter how far she’d traveled. She loved the constancy of the land and her family.
“I am proud of you, Callie. You’re an intelligent, independent young woman. All of us are proud of you. ”
“Don’t make me cry or I’ll wipe my nose on your shirt,” she threatened.
He hastily stepped away and gazed warily at her. “So what are your plans for the day?”
“Honestly? I think I’m going up to see Mom and the dads. Grab a nap. I didn’t sleep so well on the couch last night. I’ll have dinner with them and spend the night there. It’s been a while since I’ve had two consecutive nights off. ”