Preston shifted in his stance, visibly agitated. Like last time, he didn’t want to be having this conversation. How had his father gotten him to attempt it a second time?
“Look, I spent most of my first year here being mad at him, so we never really talked. After a while, we just moved past it. I told myself I didn’t want his apology, but I was . . . wrong. I didn’t know I needed it until he actually said it today.”
Everything went still. The moment in the hospital room had been the first time he’d truly heard his father’s apology.
He took a sudden step toward the bed, and Polly let out a low, guttural warning. If it had been in human speak, it would have been a threat to rip his face to shreds.
“Okay, Polly. Chill.” He turned his focus back to me. “Like I said, I fucked up. You might not want my apology now, but I need to say it in case you do someday. I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve what I did or how I treated you, and I’m sorry.”
What was I supposed to say? I opened my mouth, but words failed me. “Uh . . .”
He was sincere. He’d come to apologize, not to make himself feel better, but for me. Preston’s first selfless act in a long, long time. Maybe it had been magical beer.
I went with what was easiest. He’d said what he needed to, and I had to acknowledge it. “Okay.”
I shifted gingerly on the bed. What was supposed to happen now? I accepted his apology, but he wasn’t exactly forgiven, and there were other things I was still upset about.
He walked over to my desk and leaned against it, his expression odd. “He was a different person last night, after your surgery. You should have seen him.” He folded his arms over his chest. “He was scared, and it freaked me the fuck out.”
Alarm coasted through me. “Scared of what?”
“Losing me. Losing you.” Preston’s eyes weren’t quite as dark as his father’s. Maybe they’d grow to be that way. He just hadn’t seen as much as Greg had yet. But Preston’s eyes were beautiful all the same and trapped me under his intense gaze. “He told me today he’s spent the last ten years trying to dig himself out of the hole he made when he was my age, and he wasn’t going to let me do the same.”
A faint, embarrassed smile glanced over his lips and vanished as quickly as it had appeared.
“Then,” he continued, “my dad laid into me about all the shit he’d let me get away with, because he thought going easy on me was his best chance to earn forgiveness. He told me he was going to, quote, ‘take away my shovel.’”
I blinked.
Preston straightened from the desk. “You know, so I couldn’t dig my own hole?”
“I got it,” I said dryly.
“So, we talked about—fuck, everything. And I’m going to try to do better.”
I couldn’t help but be dubious. “Starting today.”
“Yeah.” His gaze drifted away from mine. “I had to find out you were in the hospital from my dad.”
“Was I supposed to tell you? Honestly, I didn’t think you’d care.”
He deflated. “What I mean is, you were my best friend, and I took you for granted. I didn’t realize how much I did until you were with . . . someone else.”
The statement dropped the big, fat elephant right between us, where we couldn’t ignore it any longer.
“You mean, the someone you took away from me?”
He gave me an annoyed look. “You think walking in on that was easy? Sorry if I wasn’t immediately cool with seeing you fuck my dad.”
My cheeks burned, and I dropped my gaze to my lap. “I’m sorry you found out that way, but we were going to tell you.”
“Yeah, I know. He pointed out I’d done stuff behind your back and kept it a secret, so I guess I don’t really have any room to complain.” He exhaled loudly, his shoulders dropping. “Honestly, Cassidy, I don’t get it. You and my dad together? It’s a little fucked up.”
Anger swelled inside me. “You don’t—”
He held up a hand. “I’m not done. I don’t understand it, and I don’t like it, but that doesn’t matter because it’s not always about me.”
My heart tripped, stumbling over itself. “What are you saying?”
“It’s selfish of me to get in the way of you two. If you want to be together. So, I guess I’m not going to do it anymore.” He grimaced. “But I can’t promise it’s not going to be awkward as fuck.”
My chest tightened. “Really?”
“Yeah, it’s super weird. He’s twenty years older than you.”
I made a face. “No, I meant—oh.”
Preston’s expression said he’d been messing with me. Then he turned sincere. “If we hadn’t gone through this whole mess, my dad and I would still be where we were, stuck in a holding pattern.”