“No. I’m just kinda… I’m more matchmaking right now.” She turns to me with a curious expression. “You’ve been weird.”
“I thought I was always weird.”
“Well, yeah. Extra weird.” She studies me. “You and Kay have been hanging out a lot.”
“And?”
“It’s just weird, don’t you think?”
“Why?”
“You’re kinda old.”
“Wise.”
“Eh.”
I chuckle as I flip her off.
She laughs as she returns the gesture. “It’s been making me think about Mom and Dad, what’s happening to Kay’s grandmother.”
“Me too.”
“I miss them. I know they were assholes to you, but—”
“They’re still your parents.” Only I don’t miss them. Not exactly. I never let my head go to that place.
They’re gone.
Our chance to reconcile is gone.
But was there ever a fucking chance?
Nothing would have convinced me to be the clean cut, high achieving son they wanted.
They had points. I skipped too much school, hung out with too many burn outs and druggies, gave too much lip.
But there was a fucking ocean between who I was and who they wanted me to be.
And I was never going to cross that.
It’s easier to push everything aside.
They’re gone. I don’t dwell on that. I’ve never had the mental space. Not really. I had no fucking idea how to take care of someone when I was appointed Emma’s legal guardian. And taking care of a teenage girl who’d just lost her parents—that wasn’t easy.
It filled that space. Kept me from thinking about what it meant, Mom and Dad no longer existing.
I still don’t let my head go to that place.
And I don’t want to.
“I hated them too,” Emma says. “For a long time. It was their fault. I always knew it was their decisions to lock you out.”
“It was both of us.” I don’t want Emma picking up my baggage. Things were still good with her and our parents. That should be her lasting memory.
“But you showed whenever they didn’t. You wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t want to be around.”
It’s true. I always want to support Emma. Even when she pisses me off. “It was complicated.” But it wasn’t, not really. Mom didn’t want me around my young, impressionable sister.
“Was it? Why’d they have to draw that line.”
“You have to draw it somewhere.” I get it, now. I really do. It’s hard being a parent. You try your best, but a lot of times you fuck that up.
“I guess.” She leans back into the couch. “Maybe you are wise.”
“Only maybe?”
She nods. “You… you annoy the crap out of me, Brendon, but you… you’re a good brother.”
“High praise.”
“I’m trying to be earnest. It’s not my forte.” She stares into my eyes. “I know I was pissed about everything with Kaylee, but I was wrong. I’m sorry. You were just looking out for her. And for me. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
“Me either.”
“Huh?”
“She’s half the reason why you’re in college now.”
Emma nods. “You push college a lot for someone who barely graduated high school.”
“And?”
“It’s very parent like.”
“I’m your legal guardian.”
“Not anymore. I’m eighteen.”
“You want to move out and pay your own rent?”
“Are you really throwing down an ultimatum?”
“No.” I’d never do that to Em.
“It’s just. I do appreciate you taking care of her. Even if I think it’s weird you two are hanging out so much.”
“Thanks.”
“And… I do appreciate you taking care of me too.” She leans in for a hug. “I love you.”
“Love you too.”
She settles back into her seat and nods to the TV. “Okay. Enough feelings. Let’s watch some spy action.”
I chuckle. Em is funny nervous. It’s rare. “You working two Thursdays from now?”
“Why?”
“I have a surprise. For me, you, and Kay.”
“Same as every Thursday. Four to eight.”
“Good. You two can meet me at the shop. We’ll go together.”
“What is it?”
I shrug who knows.
“Don’t make me take back everything I said.”
“You won’t.”
“Try me.”
“I am.”
She folds her arms. “Fine. I won’t take it back. This time. But only for Kay’s sake.”
“She’s my saving grace.”
“She really is.”
I disappear into my room to work on a mockup. When I reappear downstairs, Emma and Kaylee are giggling over ice cream sundaes.
Emma nods to me then motions cut it.
Kaylee’s eyes light up with that we have a secret look.
“I miss something exciting?” I ask.
Emma shakes her head. “Hair stuff.”
“Girl talk.” Kaylee nods.
Emma waits for me to move into the kitchen. She leans in to not quite whisper to Kay. “You think you’re going to do it again?” She looks to me. Motions go away. “The hairstyle.”
“Yeah. I think this is my new hairstyle.”
“But you… Uh…” My sister’s brow furrows.
She’s not exactly being subtle. They’re obviously talking about sex.
But Emma is staring at me like it would be hell if I found out.
Huh.
Emma leans in to whisper.
Kaylee whispers back. She stands up and smooths her jeans. “I’m going to see how it goes. See how long I want to keep up this…” She pats her tight ponytail. “Hairstyle.” She picks up her empty mug. “You want more?”