“I think this is a good thing.”
“I disagree.”
Coen gave me a disappointed look. “You have a beautiful woman who wants you for you. I think that’s worth more than all the cash in your bank account.”
“She knows I’m not interested in something serious.”
“But you’re already in the middle of something serious. You just have a different label on it.”
“I didn’t realize how she felt…” I didn’t realize how attached she was to me, how she wanted something permanent rather than temporary.
“It’s pretty obvious, man. That woman wears her heart on her sleeve—you’re just blind.”
“I was clear about what I wanted in the beginning.”
“Supposedly. But you’ve been bending the rules ever since. How many townhouses have you bought for your other cherries?”
None.
“How many other cherries have lived with you? Or better yet, stepped foot inside this apartment?”
None.
“She’s never been like the others. Why don’t you just try to give the woman what she wants?”
“Because I have nothing to give.” I rose from the table and left my brother behind. By this time of the evening, we should be eating dinner then getting ready for bed. But the night had been ruined once I gave her that gift.
I walked into the bedroom and found her sitting on the couch in front of the TV. The screen was black, and the darkness of the night filled the bedroom. I turned on a few lamps so it wouldn’t be so dark.
She didn’t look at me. “I would leave, but I have nowhere to go.”
“I don’t want you to leave.” I sat in the armchair and looked at her stretched out on the sofa. The cashmere blanket was pulled over her shoulder. Her hair was spread out around her, and she looked so petite on the large couch. Everything in my apartment was several sizes bigger, dwarfing her petite body.
“Really? It seems like you want me to run to that townhouse.”
“No. I don’t even have the keys for it yet.”
She kept her eyes away from me, as if she refused to acknowledge my existence.
“Cherry—”
“I’m not sure if I can do this anymore.” She pulled herself up and let the blanket fall from her shoulder. There were small bags under her eyes like she’d shed a few tears. “I know you already paid off my loans so I can’t reimburse you the money, but…I don’t want to be here anymore.”
Crueler words had never been spoken to me. That was the most painful sentence ever to come from her mouth. My gift drove her away, and now she wanted nothing to do with me. It hurt more than my brother’s betrayal.
“I knew this was going to be a mistake, but I didn’t realize how big of a mistake it would turn into. You’re such a strong man, but you continue to let the past defeat you. You continue to let Simone’s betrayal break you. You’ve allowed her to ruin your life, even all these years later. You have a woman who actually cares about you, but you refuse to give her a chance… It’s pathetic.” She crossed her legs and her arms and focused her gaze out the window. “I see myself falling harder for you with every passing day…but I see you growing more distant. When I couldn’t find an apartment you liked, I thought it was just an excuse to keep me at your penthouse. But then you went out and bought me my dream home…just to get rid of me.”
“I’m not trying to get rid of you. I’m trying to take care of you.”
“That’s not how I want to be taken care of.” She finally turned her gaze on me, her eyes slightly watery. “I want to sleep beside you at night because I know that’s the safest place in the world. I want you to take me out to dinner once in a while. I want you to bring me flowers for no reason. That’s how I want you to take care of me, not by buying me a fucking house.”
I didn’t want to be insensitive, but I wondered if her attachment came from the context of our relationship. “I’m the first man you’ve ever slept with, so I understand why you’re attached to me.”
She rolled her eyes. “No. Like a normal human being, I actually have feelings for the man I’m sleeping with. There are so many things I admire about you, and there are so many things I despise about you. But at the end of the day, you’re still my best friend. At the end of the day, you’re still the man I want to come home to every night. It’s not because you’re the only man I’ve ever been with. That has nothing to do with it.”
If I’d known this would be her reaction to the townhouse, I never would have gone through with it. But I also didn’t know what else to do with her. The last thing I wanted was for her to end up in a trashy apartment on the bad side of town. I wanted to know she was safe, whether we were together or not. “I didn’t realize you felt that way.”