He’d probably have his cleaner on speed dial within a few seconds after the kids were in bed.
Austin screamed in delight. He dug in wholeheartedly, pushing most of the pasta all over the table and floor and himself. Lexi bit down the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. She could practically hear Curtis James groaning behind her.
She let Austin and Noel eat while she turned and stalked back to the island. She grabbed the bowl the TFB left for her, complete with a spoon. She was starved. She didn’t have any qualms about digging in.
“Do you have any ketchup?”
James whirled, his eyes wide like she’d just asked for him to cut himself and bleed for her. “In the fridge.”
“Thanks.” More eyes rolling on her part, but Lexi turned so he couldn’t see it.
She marched to the fridge, which was a massive double door modern monstrosity that she knew for a fact cost more than she was going to make that weekend. She pulled open yet another overcompensating big door and came face to face with the world’s healthiest fridge. Fruits and vegetables. Expensive juices. Trays of raw meat. Fizzy fricking water. No carbs in sight. No desserts. There wasn’t even a jar of jam. She found a ridiculously strange glass bottle of ketchup that wasn’t normal looking, but she wasn’t overly fussy.
“Wow,” James commented dryly when she uncapped the bottle and applied a liberal amount to the pasta.
“That’s right. I know how to eat gourmet.” He didn’t respond, so she decided to clue him in on the speech she’d rehearsed while the kids were in the bath. “By the way, you’re their uncle. They think you’re super cool. Don’t do your best to prove them wrong.”
“What do you suggest?” Curtis James’ pasta sat untouched. Big surprise.
“I don’t know. Tuck them into bed? Maybe read them a story?” She batted her eyelashes charmingly, trying a dose of sugar. She knew that being overly obnoxious would get to James faster than he’d likely admit.
“Fat chance. That’s why I’m paying you the big bucks,” he snorted, without an ounce of remorse.
“Ugh,” Lexi muttered under her breath. She stuffed her face as fast as she could, just so she could get the heck out of the kitchen. As she passed James on the way to putting her bowl in the sink, she gave him one last parting shot under her breath. “They really are going to find out soon enough that you’re the world’s worst uncle.” She turned, a sunny expression on her face and clapped her hands. “You guys are ready for some stories?”
She was greeted with squeals of delight as Austin and Noel scrambled away from the table. Austin actually did really well given that he should have been in a freaking high chair and Noel was like a little lady. They were adorable kids, with dark hair and big blue eyes. Austin still had the chubby cheeks of babyhood while Noel was beyond cute. They were pretty easy-going kids so far. The diaper incident seemed to be a one off.
Austin let out a whoop and a giggle as she scooped him up. She took Noel’s hand after, satisfied that they’d left the table a huge mess of sticky, cheesy noodles.
“Time for stories while Uncle cleans up,” she said sweetly. “Say goodnight, kids.”
Austin garbled something in his super cute baby talk. He actually hadn’t said any words yet.
“Goodnight!” Noel chimed enthusiastically. She looked at her uncle like he hung the moon. Poor kid. She was going to take it hard when her bubble burst.
As they exited the kitchen, Lexi glanced over her shoulder. She was pretty damn disappointed that the TFB didn’t look nearly as pissed as she thought he’d be. Damn. She’d have to up her game. Too bad for him, she had a lot left in her arsenal. She was going to earn her ten grand and have a blast doing it.
CHAPTER 4
Curtis
Somehow, Lexi’s magic touch put the hell spawns to bed without any toddler explosions, or four-year-old meltdowns. Curtis listened at the foot of the stairs, expecting to hear a pop or a bang, like the kids could actually detonate like a real box of dynamite, but there was only the occasional giggle and Lexi’s beautiful, sweet, lilting tone as she read them bedtime stories. It wasn’t anything he recognized. Something about a fox and a bear in the woods and the second was ridiculous nonsense about a cat.
God. No wonder children were so horrible. The shit they listened to all day long- the mindless cartoons and even the books, on the odd chance they actually glanced at one and weren’t glued to their fucking tablets- were just shit. Really. That’s what was wrong with the up and coming generation.
Then again, the last generation probably said that about the one before it and about his too. It blew his mind that there were pretty much two generations below him now. Aging. It sneaks up on a person like a ghost in the night. The asshole type, not the nice kind, and he was only thirty-four.