She always knew that their ending was just around the corner. They were more than living on borrowed time. Stolen moments. That’s what they were. Curtis never told her explicitly that he loved her.
She was probably just a distraction for him. He’d said he wanted her, but that wasn’t more than physical, she was sure. He had a good family too. Even a few really good friends. He actually wasn’t the asshole she thought he was, and if she just disappeared, he’d be upset, but he’d be okay. He had good people to lean on. He’d get over her. Probably with another model worthy woman. Maybe if she got the heck out of his picture, he’d actually be free to find the person he was meant to be with, since she’d always known that wasn’t her.
It hurt.
It really hurt.
She wanted to say goodbye, but maybe Sam was right, and it would just complicate things. This way, Curtis could just be free. He wouldn’t know about a child he didn’t want. He wouldn’t have to feel obligated to be in his son’s or daughter’s life when he didn’t want to be. His child would never know the sting of realizing that its own father hadn’t and didn’t want it.
Even if they hadn’t been destined for failure, even if she’d only found out she was pregnant, that child growing inside of her was now her number one priority. She had to do what was best for her baby, even long before it was born. If that meant sparing him or her from future hurts, hurts that would resound for a lifetime, then she had to do it.
Even if it was hard. Even if it was messy. Even if it hurt like hell.
Lexi sniffled and leaned back into her bestie. She could do this. She could freaking do this. If not for herself, then for her baby. Sam was right. She wouldn’t be alone.
Maybe in time, her heart would even learn how to heal.
CHAPTER 20
Curtis
When Lexi called in sick, he was worried. She didn’t answer any of his texts. He told himself he’d give her a day since he knew she was fiercely independent and probably just wanted to be left alone. When the first day stretched to two, he texted her, asking if he could come over. She responded that she had a stomach bug and was contagious and didn’t want him to get it. She promised him in a few days she’d feel better and be back at work.
He gave her another three days before he blew her phone up. Or at least, he’d tried. His worried texts pinged back at him as undelivered. Confused, he’d picked up his phone and dialed her number. Only to find it wasn’t in service.
He knew. From the second that toneless operator’s voice flooded his ear, that she was gone.
It was a sinking feeling, a sickening sensation that spread through him like a real virus. The truth sucked, and he knew it straight down to his marrow and the bottom of his aching heart, that Lexi was gone. She wouldn’t be coming back to work. She’d changed her number so he couldn’t contact her. He’d always felt that she was slipping through his fingers, even when he was right there. He didn’t know what to do or say to keep her with him. To keep her his.
And now she was gone.
Without a word. Without a goodbye. Without any snarky sass or a big blow out. Without so much as an email or a note or even a text.
It was so very like Lexi to just disappear and try and spare his feelings, spare him the awkwardness, spare him having to explain or listen to her explanation, spare him all the shit she thought he wasn’t good at. She probably thought that she’d done this for the best. That he’d thank her for it. That in the long run, it would be the less hurtful route.
They were never supposed to happen.
They were the stars everyone always talked about that shone the brightest and burned themselves out.
He was in love with her and in classic Lexi fashion, when she realized it, or maybe even felt it too, she ran. He’d always chased. Always.
Maybe she didn’t want to be chased. Lexi was a good person. She had a tender heart despite the coldness she’d always tried to show him. He’d learned a lot about her in the three years they’d worked together. He’d learned even more in the two months they were together. They didn’t meet each other’s families or friends. They didn’t do the normal couple things, but they did share. They shared each other’s lives and opened up their hearts. He thought it could be enough. That maybe, when he broached the subject of putting a name and a title to what they were doing, to telling people, to making it official, that maybe she’d be up for it. That maybe, just maybe she’d learned to hate him a little less. That maybe she’d learned to love him a little.