But this time, he had offered her an option—and she knew she couldn’t take it. No matter what he said now, she knew that he would go mad if their lives were to become one constant round of doctors’ appointments. And she would go mad if she had to live with the fear that one day he would feel deprived without a blood family of his own.
No. She was doing this for the best. She was doing this because she loved him and one day he would realise that.
There was much cheering and clapping as baby Ianthe began to squall with fury when water was poured over her head—and soon afterwards the convoy of cars began to make its way back up towards the Kanellis estate.
At the party which followed, Lexi stuck to water rather than the champagne with which everyone was toasting the baby. She hung back and waited until there was a lull in all the celebrations before she went over to Kyra and gave her the small package she’d brought with her from England.
‘What is this?’ Kyra began to unwrap it, folds of tissue paper falling away as she pulled out a delicate silver charm. ‘Oh, Lexi—it’s a unicorn! Did you make it?’
‘I did.’ Lexi smiled. ‘A mythical beast which was discovered by a Greek historian.’
‘Of course. Who else?’ laughed Kyra.
‘It means power and healing and renewal, among other things. I thought perhaps she could wear it on a chain when she’s older.’ Lexi looked up to find Xenon standing there and in that moment she thought that her heart might break in two.
‘It’s beautiful,’ he said, his blue eyes piercing into hers.
You’re beautiful, she thought. You’re beautiful and I love you but I can’t give you want you want. She stood up, taking in a deep breath as she drew him aside to speak in a low voice. ‘Xenon, I can’t stay any longer. It isn’t fair to any of us. I want to leave today—to slip away without too much comment.’
His mouth twisted. ‘You don’t imagine that your absence won’t be remarked upon? That you can just fly out of here without anybody noticing you’ve gone?’
She met his gaze without flinching. ‘I’m sure you can sweet-talk your way out of it. You’ve done it often enough in the past.’
His mouth hardened into a grim replica of a smile. Not this time, he thought. Not this time.
But while he might want her, he would not dream of stopping her. For what would be the point of keeping a woman who did not want to stay?
CHAPTER TWELVE
LEXI THOUGHT SHE’D welcome being back in her little Devonshire village. That she’d be relieved that her emotions were no longer spiking up and down, like one of those graphs you saw at the bottom of a hospital bed. Somehow she had imagined that life would resume a comfortable pace now that Xenon was no longer in it.
But she had been wrong.
She felt as if a giant light had been snuffed out, leaving her stumbling around in bewildering darkness. The daily routine she’d once loved now seemed empty; her days simply hours she needed to get through before she could escape to bed for yet another sleepless night. Even her jewellery making—something which had given her so much pleasure—now seemed to lack imagination and flair.
She found herself looking blankly at the crude pieces of silver and wondering what on earth to do with them. Where before she would have been bursting with ideas, her imagination seemed to have deserted her.
And she missed Xenon. She’d anticipated that; she just hadn’t realised how much. He had taken her back into his world and given her a glimpse of what life with him could be like and she had wanted that life back. God, she had wanted it. But she couldn’t have it.
She couldn’t have him.
She had left Rhodes with a heavy heart, having first crept into the sick room to kiss his sleeping grandmother goodbye. She’d said farewell to a frankly bewildered Marina, whose innate code of manners clearly prevented her from asking her why she was going so suddenly.
Xenon had kissed her lightly on each cheek just before he’d closed the door on the car taking her to the airport. And in a way, that had been almost worse than if he’d gone into a massive sulk and refused to say goodbye. But no, he had managed to don the suave cloak of civility. He had even managed to slant her a half-smile, though he hadn’t quite been able to disguise the furious glitter in his eyes. And Lexi realised that her last memory of the man she loved would be of him giving her the kind of cool kiss he might have offered some casual acquaintance he’d just met at a party.