She’d asked him if he would have shared Rachel’s bed. He was pretty certain he’d lied. That he would have shared Rachel’s bed because it was something a husband did with a wife.
And because Rachel wouldn’t have challenged his control in the same way that Leah did. He had always known that.
Leah walked in the front door of the villa, dressed in her swimsuit and cover-up, and the truth hit him full on. He had always known it would be like this. That Leah was the one who would wake up the monster.
She tugged at the flowing fabric on the cover-up, stretching it over her breasts. He’d been half hoping she would come through wearing nothing but bikini bottoms but he was disappointed on that front.
Was he disappointed? Yes. No point in pretending he didn’t want her. He did. More than he could remember wanting anything or anyone. The acquisition of Holt seemed like nothing now, not compared to the need to join his body to Leah’s.
She kept comparing his celibacy to her innocence. As if it united them somehow. As if they shared something. But she did not share in his darkness.
They were nothing alike. And she didn’t know what she was tempting.
And if he had his way, she never would.
He wrapped the scarf around his fist and tugged it so that it was taut, watching her through the curtain as she approached the bed, her hips swaying gently, each step she took tightening the desire in his stomach further.
“Where have you been?” he asked.
“And you care why?”
“I’m your husband,” he said, the words scraping his throat raw.
“Oh, really. Well, you can’t just be my husband when it suits you, Ajax. You can’t shove me away on the beach and walk away then expect that you get to know the details of my whereabouts.”
“If something had happened to you?”
“I lived the first twenty-three years of my life without you in my pocket, I’m pretty sure I can handle the next twenty-three without you there, too.”
“Tell me, Leah, knowing everything you know about me—” he wrapped the scarf around his fist again, drawing his hands more tightly together “—do you still want me?”
She lifted her chin. “Yes.”
“Tell me,” he said, “exactly what you want from me.”
“I already told you.”
“Tell me again,” he said. “Restate your terms.” He had to know. He had to hear it again.
“You. In my bed. Children,” she said, adding more now, “support of my business. The expansion of Leah’s Lollies should be a priority.”
He pulled his fists as far from each other as he could, the fabric straining between them. “Done.”
“And what has this deal cost me? My soul?”
“I don’t want your soul, darling girl, I want your body.”
“I offered it. Freely.”
“On my terms.”
“And what,” she asked, her voice breathy, “are your terms?”
“You can’t touch me during sex.”
“That’s impossible,” she said.
“No, it’s not. When you touch me, when you push me too far too fast, I start to lose control, and that is unacceptable.”
“And you have a solution?”
“You said you could handle my darkness.” He stood from his position on the bed, the scarf still wrapped around his hands.
Her eyes fell to the scarf and shock flickered in the golden depths. Then, she raised her gaze to meet his, her tongue darting out slowly to moisten her lips. “Are you offering to show me the darkness?”
“No,” he said, his voice rough, “I aim to protect you from it.”
“How?”
“I need control.”
“How much?”
“All of it. Can you give me that? In bed, I need all of the control.”
Leah’s heart thundered in her head, her hands shaking, her entire body shaking, from the inside out. She felt like she might really be in over her head. Like she might have miscalculated. For the first time, when she looked at Ajax, she felt like she was looking at a stranger.
“Tell me what you want to do,” she said, knowing instinctively what it was he wanted. What he needed.
“I want to tie your hands.”
“And then what?”
“I’m going to pleasure you until you can’t think straight. Until you can’t string together a sentence. And then...and then I want to part your legs and lose myself in you.”