Expecting him to relax against the pillow, she held her breath when he turned sideways and propped his head on his curved arm. Hypnotic eyes travelled over her hair. ‘You’ll be much more comfortable if you take your hair down.’
‘I don’t think so. My hair has got me into too much trouble around you and your inner ten-year-old. It’s staying up.’
Her hair had been an explosive subject between them. Far be it from her to tempt fate. Or, worse still, for her to tempt fate only to find fate couldn’t care less.
His mouth twisted. ‘Please yourself.’ He relaxed against the pillows, crossed his hands over his chest and closed his eyes. Within minutes, his even breathing echoed softly through the room.
She stared because she couldn’t help herself. And because, like the first time she’d watched him sleep, Ari’s transformation in repose was breathtaking.
But now she knew the reason behind the constant torment that lurked in his eyes and the bone-deep weariness etched into his face, she was thankful he received peace in sleep.
For the first time since he’d told her, she let herself think of just what Ari had lost. Losing his wife was devastating enough, but his unborn child, too? Was it any wonder he’d been so desolate that day at Macdonald Hall?
Was it any wonder he’d wanted to find oblivion? Her heart ached and tears clouded her eyes all over again.
God, this needed to stop or she’d be a basket case long before this child was born. She couldn’t afford to be a basket case. Couldn’t afford anything other than her complete wits about her, her mind and her heart intact. She’d been through too much to put her emotions on the line again. Until she could find a way to guarantee that, there was no way she could consider Ari’s proposal.
Because there were times when he showed her kindness that her foolish heart believed he could care for her.
And that was a slippery slope to heartache she had no intention of skidding down...
She woke to the sound of a steady heartbeat beneath her ear and a warm, familiar scent in her nostrils. But it was the fingers splayed over her stomach that made her eyes slowly drift open.
Ari was awake, his gaze fixed on her flat belly. She must have curled closer to his side of the bed in her sleep because he had one arm clamped around her while his other rested on her stomach.
As she watched him, a wave of despair washed over his face. The emotion was so strong her breath caught. He heard it and his eyes flew to hers. He started to withdraw, but she held his hand in place.
‘What happened to her?’ she asked softly.
He froze and his features shuttered. For several minutes she thought he wouldn’t answer. ‘She had a weak heart. The doctors were divided on whether she could carry a child to term without it causing a severe strain on her heart. I warned her it was too risky. She chose to side with the more optimistic doctors. Her heart gave out in her second trimester.’
The naked devastation in his voice slashed her insides. ‘And you blame yourself.’
That was why the news of her pregnancy didn’t bring joy. The look on his face had been one of deep, wretched torment.
His smile was grim as his eyes were bleak. ‘Despite my fears, I let myself be convinced she would be all right. That our child would be all right. They both died.’
‘Ari, you can’t—’
He pulled away and got out of bed. ‘We are not having this conversation now, Perla. It’s time to leave the plane. We landed ten minutes ago.’
* * *
The Pantelides Bermuda was another architectural work of art. The blueprints and plans Ari had shown her at the restaurant were nowhere near as awe-inspiring as the real thing.
The long, palm-tree-lined drive along a private road gave way to six sprawling buildings linked together by curved wooden bridges.
Multi-roomed suites, each one containing a wide wooden deck, an infinity pool and a luxurious spa, faced a stunning private white-sanded beach. Four-poster beds built with local carved wood soared up to vaulted ceilings and crown mouldings that lent an air of old-world elegance, blending old and new in exquisite symmetry.
The exclusive three-storey casino made entirely of triple-paned glass was set away from the main resort on giant transparent stilts and accessed by private boats manned by discreet security guards. From the resort, the building seemed to be floating on water.
Once their luggage was loaded into an air-conditioned SUV, Ari turned to her. ‘We’ll take the full tour later. Right now I’ll introduce you to your chef.’
‘As long as it’s not to another bed and a command to “rest”, we’re okay.’