“You’re telling me.”
Looping her arm through mine, she pouted. “So, move on to the better stuff. Did you at least get to hang out with Roth a little?”
“A little, but nothing...nothing happened. We got caught pretty quickly.” I changed the subject quickly, too nervous to talk about Roth when I should be seeing him in a minute or so.
Except once I was seated in bio and the final tardy bell rang, Roth was a no-show. Anxiety slipped over me like a second skin, growing worse when lunch came and there still was no sign of Roth.
“I hope Abbot didn’t kill him and hide his body,” Stacey commented. “Because the Wardens can be a bit scary, you know.”
My appetite was officially slaughtered.
“What happened?” Sam asked, straightening his glasses.
As Stacey launched into a rapid recap of how I’d gotten busted over the weekend, I kept glancing at the open double doors at the front of the cafeteria. Palms sweaty and stomach twisted into knots, I waited.
I waited for Roth, but he never showed.
* * *
As the days turned into a week and there was still no sign of Roth and no change at home, I wasn’t sure what to believe anymore. Roth’s own words came back to haunt me over and over again. I’m a demon. All I do is lie.
Could he have been lying to me since the beginning, using me to get the Key so that he could raise the Lilin? Was that why I hadn’t heard from him or seen him?
No—no way. Roth hadn’t manipulated me. There was no way everything had been a ploy. I couldn’t believe that. Or maybe I just couldn’t let myself believe that. It hurt too much to even consider. But in dark moments, those questions got the best of me.
Some days I thought I caught that unique, wild scent of his. In the hallways between classes, or outside as I headed to where Zayne was parked. I looked everywhere for him, but I never saw him. Never heard him humming “Paradise City.”
Things had not warmed up between Zayne and me. Other than when I basically forced a response out of him, he wasn’t keen on the whole idea of speaking to me. I was still sequestered in my bedroom, but the few times I was allowed out, he was with Danika or the other Wardens.
The cravings hit hard during the night. Probably had to do with the anxiety and the stress of everything, but my door was always locked. As was the balcony, and the windows had been nailed shut from the outside, like they were afraid I might jump out the window or something. Without access to juice or something sweet, the nights sucked.
Strangely, the need to cave to my demon side had barely been a concern while Roth had been around. The yearning had always been there, but it had been faint and easily manageable. As if his presence had helped control it. Or maybe it was something else. I really didn’t know.
After a particularly grueling night when I ended up pacing myself into exhaustion, Zayne breached the silence between us on the morning ride to school. “You look like crap.”
I shrugged, picking at a string on my jeans. “Long night.”
He didn’t say anything immediately, but I could feel his eyes on me when we pulled up in front of the large brick face of the school. “Been having a lot of long nights?” When I didn’t answer, he drew in a deep breath. “How bad, Layla?”
“It’s nothing.” I opened the door and climbed out, squinting in the harsh morning glare of the November sun. “I’ll see you later.”
Just because my luck was outstanding, the first person I ran into was Eva, with her perfectly coiffed hair. The knowledge that I hadn’t even bothered to wash my hair this morning along with the fact that her soul seemed darker, more red streaks than pink, meant she was the last person I needed to be in close proximity to.
“Get out of my way, freak.”
My feet were cemented to the floor. All I could see was her soul and the darkness. A burning picked up in my throat and stomach, like acid.
Eva glanced around and then snapped her fingers in my face. “Seriously? Are you standing here for a reason?”
Thick and dangerous, the dark craving swelled from deep within. I turned, counting my breaths until the worst of it faded, and then I put one foot in front of the other. The day dragged—I dragged. Day eight of no Roth.
Later that night, when the need hit me in my sleep and woke me up, I turned onto my side, keeping my eyes closed. Not again. Please not again. Insides balled into knots. The fire started on my skin. A chill broke out.
I opened my eyes and blinked back tears. Jumping from the window was starting to sound better by the day.
Sitting up, I looked around the bedroom. My gaze passed over an odd shape on my desk and then swung back. I frowned, not recognizing whatever was there. Throwing the sheet off, I stood and stumbled toward the desk.
As soon as my eyes made out what it was, I clamped my hand over my mouth.
There was a pitcher of OJ sitting next to a glass and a roll of unopened sugar-cookie dough.
Zayne had been here while I slept. It was the only explanation.
There was no stopping the tears. They coursed down my cheeks, soaking the hem of my shirt. I don’t know why I was crying so hard, but it was the ugly kind of sobs. Maybe it was because this tiny act of kindness on Zayne’s end said that he didn’t hate me. Not entirely. And maybe it was more than that. Some of the tears were for Abbot, the only father I’d ever known. Right now, I was sure he regretted bringing me home that day so many years ago. Maybe some of those tears were for Roth, because the longer I went without him, the more weight was added to Abbot’s words. If there really was another demon out there wanting to raise the Lilin, wouldn’t Roth still be around, making sure I didn’t end up hanging from an upside-down cross?
But he wasn’t around.
He’d left.
* * *
On Tuesday it felt like a cracked-out drummer had taken up residency in my head. My whole face ached from the cry fest. I could barely pay attention to anything Stacey was talking about in bio. By some small miracle, she hadn’t asked about Roth yet today.
Stacey may be boy crazy, but she wasn’t stupid. She thought it was odd that after being busted with him, he’d disappear. I bet she didn’t think her comment about the Wardens killing Roth was so funny now.
I couldn’t focus on the notes on the overhead projector. Instead, I drew a bigfoot along the margin in my notebook. Halfway through class, I caught that scent again—Roth’s scent—the sweet and wild flavor that reminded me of his kisses.
Placing my pencil down, I glanced around the class. There was no Roth, but the scent was still there. Great. On top of everything else, I was officially losing my mind.
Mrs. Cleo flipped another screen on the projector and then ambled back to her stool. I ended up staring aimlessly at the chalkboard until the bell rang.
In between classes, I headed to the bathroom. I don’t know why I sat in the stall until everyone left and the tardy bell rang. I just couldn’t sit through another class. Once I was sure the bathroom was clear, I kicked open the stall door.
Dropping my schoolbag on the floor, I clutched the rim of the sink and stared at my own wide eyes in the mirror. Strands of icy blond hair curled around my overly pale cheeks, and I thought I looked a bit deranged, standing there like an idiot.
I turned the tap, dipping my hands under the rush of cool water. I washed my face, hoping to cool the fire burning through me. It helped a little.