“What do you really want, Christian?”
“Honestly Star, I’m not asking anything of you. Maybe the odd photo so I can see how she is. I’m happy to keep my distance but help support her. I want to be able to help give her all the things I should have been giving her all these years.”
“Is that really going to be enough?” Star asked, suddenly feeling like the villain in this picture. What was she going to say when Skylar asked about her father? Hers was far from a standard adoption. When Skylar had asked, Star had told her that her mummy and daddy had split up before Lily had known she was pregnant and her father hadn’t known about her. Skylar had accepted that. But what was Star going to do now? Clearly Christian wanted to be part of his daughter’s life. Could she really keep her away from him? Was that in Skylar’s best interest? Lily had hoped until her last breath that Christian would come round and want their daughter. Now it appeared he did.
“Why now again?” she asked.
“It might sound cliched, but I’ve done a lot of soul searching and found out a lot of things about myself I wish I hadn’t. I’ve spent a lot of time in counselling and there are things I can’t go into, but …” Christian paused again. “I have spent too much time being manipulated and I’ve taken back control. I know my past is not your fault, and it certainly wasn’t Lily’s or Skylar’s, but I truly want to make amends.”
Star wasn’t sure whether she was being a sucker, or if Christian was genuine. Her heart was telling her this man meant everything he said. Star sent a prayer up to Lily hoping what she was about to do was the right decision. Toby, Laura, and Damian would not understand, but she had to do what was best for Skylar.
“I need to think on this. If, and I mean it’s a big if, would you want to get to know Skylar? Do you want to be part of her life?”
Star was shocked as the grown man in front of her crumbled. Tears slid down his face as he grasped her hand tightly, before pulling her into a hug.
He eventually let her go, and said, “I would do everything and anything in my power to make that happen. But I understand it is not what I want; it is what is best for Skylar. I don’t know what she knows about me, if she’d even want to speak to me after what I did.”
Star wiped a tear from her own cheek, holding up her hand. “She thinks you don’t know about her. I decided early on it was better that she thought you were unaware of her existence than that you had rejected her.” Christian’s face was a picture of gratitude, although a guilty sadness swept over his features. “If you want to do this, Christian, this is for life. You cannot choose to come back into her life and then leave again.” Christian started to speak, but Star held up her hand. “I want you to go away and think about it. If you can truly commit, then I will arrange for you to meet Skylar.”
Star stood up. Her lunchtime was over, and she had just made an enormous decision that was going to affect both herself and her daughter for the rest of their lives. She hadn’t consulted Toby, and she knew he was going to be furious, but somewhere in her heart, she knew this was the right thing for Skylar. Her father wanted to know her; it was only right she gave him the chance.
Christian stood, pulling Star into a hug. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet. Think on it, Christian,” Star said, pulling away from him. “I’m doing this for Skylar, not you.”
As Star turned towards the lobby, Star spotted Damian standing by one of the pillars, his face a mask of fury. Star took a step towards him, but he turned abruptly and left.
“It’s okay, I’ll tell him it was a personal meeting,” Christian said, clearly thinking Damian was angry because he thought she was visiting with a client behind his back.
Star spun back to him. “He knows it will have been personal,” Star said. “He knows about Skylar. I just didn’t mention to him that I was seeing you.”
Christian’s face gained a look of understanding, although he refrained from making further comment.
“Well, if you need me, you know how to contact me,” he said.
“Thank you,” Star said, before turning and leaving. It was time to face the music once again and hope Damian would listen.
Chapter Seventeen
Damian was nowhere in sight when Star exited the hotel. What had she been thinking? First, she’d lied when she blew him off for lunch. Now he’d found her with the one man who was not only a potential client but also her daughter’s biological father. To top it all off, she’d just offered that person access to her and her daughter’s life.
Before heading to the office, Star walked into the park to sit on her usual bench. She needed to get her head straight. What was she going to say? How was she going to explain this almighty mess to the man who meant the most to her?
After taking several deep breaths, Star asked Lily for her support before returning to the office. She felt like she was on a death march as she walked towards Damian’s office. The door was firmly closed, creating an even deeper sense of foreboding. Walking up to Pam’s desk, she waited until Pam finished her call.
“Is he in?” Star asked, tilting her head towards Damian’s door.
“He is, but he’s just come back from lunch in a foul mood. You may want to hide downstairs for a bit,” Pam said quietly.
Star nodded, but knew she needed to see him. “That may be the case, but I really need to see him,” she said, again glancing towards the door as if willing the man himself to appear so she could set the record straight.
“Be it on your head. Let me call through,” Pam said picking up her phone.
“I asked not to be disturbed,” Damian barked.
“I know, Damian, but Star is here asking to speak to you.”
A silent pause followed.