"You can't be serious! We don't even know that that's a possibility," I respond.
"Well, it’s definitely a possibility. You had unprotected sex with him, right?”
“Yes. But like I told you, it was outside my fertility window!”
Janice pauses and I can practically hear her rolling her eyes through the phone. I know I sound ridiculous, but I guess I’m in purposeful denial.
As if choking back a harsher response, Janice says in a very polite tone of voice, “Well, we have to at least give you a test to rule it out. I'll be over there as soon as I can and I'll bring the test and you're taking it when I get there.”
She puts a lot of emphasis on the last phrase.
“All right, fine," I reply with a sigh, resisting the urge to add a sarcastic, “Yes, Mom.”
I really do appreciate her help but I’m dreading the possibility that I could actually be pregnant and I guess I’m accidentally taking it out on her.
After I hang up the phone, I lay back on the couch and wait for her. I'm trying to think about what will happen if she's right and the test shows a positive result. I don't think my life is ready for that big of a shock or change.
I close my eyes and try to sleep but I can't, because my stomach is turning too much. I just focus on trying not to throw up.
But despite my best efforts not to, I soon start gagging again and run off to the bathroom. I'm in there for a long time, leaning over the toilet. I feel really nauseous but I'm not throwing up, so at least that's a good thing.
After a little while, I splash a bit of cold water on my face before leaving the bathroom. Then I return to the living room, hoping nothing comes up now.
Once I make my way back to the couch, I sit up on it instead of laying down. I close my eyes and just lean my head back against the cushions, feeling relieved that the nausea has temporarily eased.
About 30 minutes later, there's a knock at the door. Slowly I get up to answer it and Janice is standing there, carrying a plastic bag from the drugstore in her hand. She holds the bag out to me as she enters the house.
I take the bag from her and pull the test out. After we walk over to the couch together and sit down together, I put the box holding the test on the coffee table. Then I crumble up the bag and toss it into a nearby trash can as I stare at the test.
"Do you really think I should do this?" I ask her.
"Yes. It's the only way to make sure you’re not pregnant. Whatever the result is, at least you'll know, okay?" she says gently.
I pick up the box and study the instructions, hesitating for a few minutes before finally admitting out loud, "Okay, you're right.”
Then I take the test into the bathroom and shut the door. I open it up and pull it out of the package, breathing in deeply before sitting down on the toilet and peeing on it.
Once I'm done, I set it on the counter and begin the excruciating job of waiting to see what the result will be. After only a few seconds, I realize I can’t just stand here holding my breath all alone— I think I might go crazy this way!
So, I open the door and walk back out into the living room, where I sit down next to Janice on the couch. She takes my hand and holds it.
We're silent as we wait for the time limit to be over. It feels like the seconds are taking forever to tick by. I'm too nervous to say anything right now.
My mind is completely blank. I feel like my entire future is hanging in the balance and depend on what the test results are.
Janice checks her phone every few seconds. Finally, she nudges my shoulder.
"It's time," she says.
We walk together to the bathroom, where she stands in the doorway without going all the way in. I let go of her hand and walk over to the counter by myself to pick up the test.
I look at the results in shock. My hand goes to my mouth as I see the positive result on the test.
Then I hand it to Janice, who grabs it and looks at it right away.
"Holy fuck,” she exclaims.
“Yeah. Holy fuckity fuck fuck,” I agree.