The on-and-off friction between Avery and me continued and I just dealt with it the best that I could. When things were good, we had a lot of fun. We went places and did things together. We still had sex during those times too.
One night, Avery and I started partying at home by drinking and listening to music while lounging by our swimming pool. We ended up getting into it completely naked and then we started kissing. Before I knew it, we were fucking each other and neither of us had thought about using protection until after we were done.
As I was pulling my cock out of Avery, she snapped, “I better not be pregnant after this, Zac! If I am, then it’s your fault!”
Still intoxicated from all the Hendricks and tonic, I laughed at Avery for what she’d said to me. Then I told her, “You were part of this too. I didn’t make you fuck me. You clearly wanted to, and now here we are fighting about it. And if you do endup pregnant after tonight, then I’ll be happy to take care of our child. You don’t have to worry about a damn thing.”
I got out of the pool after that and went inside to go to bed. Avery slept in the guest bedroom that night and also the next. When I asked her on the third night if she was going to continue sleeping apart from me, she said yes. A month later, we were still sleeping separately and also living every other part of our daily lives in that way.
By that point, I’d thrown myself into my job even more while Avery continued doing what she’d already been doing. She’d sleep until noon or later, go lay out by the pool, go out with her friends in Dallas, make trips to Lubbock to see her family and friends, and spend money like it grew on trees. I never complained to her about any of that, though, because her being able to come and go as she pleased equated to peace for me.
It remained that way for several weeks until I came home from work one day to find Avery sitting on the couch and crying. I ran to her to find out what was wrong and when I touched her shoulder, she shoved my hand away and then held up a home pregnancy test that she’d taken. It was positive. She was pregnant with Malcolm. I sat down at the opposite end of the couch and then asked her what she was going to do.
“Have this damn child!” she yelled. “What did you think I was gonna do?”
“It wouldn’t have surprised me to hear you say you wanted an abortion, Avery.”
“I do! But because of you, I’m not gonna get one. I’m gonna go through with this pregnancy, ruin my body, give birth and you’re gonna owe me when it’s all over.”
“Owe you?”
“Yes, Zac. You’re gonna owe me.”
“Let me remind you that you had a role in getting pregnant. Again—I didn’t force you to have sex with me that night in thepool and you didn’t think about using protection any more than I did. But if you’re gonna insist on blaming me, then go ahead. Blame away! You can believe I owe you all day long. I don’t care, Avery. Have fun with that.”
I got up from the couch and had just started walking off when Avery screamed, “Fuck you! Fuck everything about you! You are the biggest disappointment of my life, Zac Buchanan, and you’re never touching me again!”
I turned around, walked back over to Avery, pointed my finger in her face and started to blast her with some cruel words that I’d thought to say to her before—but decided not to. I started thinking like an attorney and held my tongue. I thought about what I’d advised clients of mine to do before, and that was to begin documenting heated incidents between them and their spouses or whoever. So that’s what I began doing with Avery.
As weeks passed, morning sickness became something else that she bitched about. When her regular clothes no longer fit, she bitched about that too. After she’d reached the fourth month of her pregnancy, I asked Avery about getting a sonogram to find out what the sex of our baby was and to no surprise, she bitched about that as well. She didn’t want to get one. She refused to do it, and it wasn’t until the day she gave birth to Malcolm that I knew I was the father of a son.
I was in the delivery room when he came into the world and I cried the moment I saw him. Avery just looked pissed off. When one of the nurses asked her if she wanted to hold Malcolm, she replied, “No, that’s my husband’s job.” From that point on, I took over total responsibility of Malcolm and never looked back.
In the four years since his birth, Avery had shown random interest in him as he’d gotten older. She’d even spent what seemed to be quality time with him. I’d caught her smiling at him and him smiling at her, as well as the two of them laughing. But as usual, it was short-lived and cyclical. I understood whatwas happening but Malcolm didn’t. He didn’t get it when his mother was affectionate toward him one day and then wanted nothing to do with him the next.
Malcolm was still asleep when I exited off the interstate. My house was only a couple of miles away but I wasn’t ready to go back yet because I didn’t want to deal with Avery. There was no telling what state of mind she was going to be in and I didn’t want it to spoil mine.
I was so surprised to see Stevie at the zoo. Seeing her again, talking to her, the way that Malcolm interacted with her and also the way that she interacted with him made my day. It was unreal how my son responded to Stevie. I chalked it up to his instinct. He instantly knew she was a good person. No—agreatperson. Although she didn’t have any children of her own, she was obviously a natural with them.
I decided to keep driving around, so I got back onto the interstate. This way, Malcolm could get a good nap in and I could keep letting my thoughts about Stevie flow while listening to the radio. Thoughts that I knew I shouldn’t be having but allowed myself to have anyway.
Although she and I were newly acquainted, I’d already seen enough of her and had heard enough of everything she’d said to know someone like her would perfectly fill the lonely void in my life. I couldn’t help but question why I couldn’t have met someone like Stevie ten years ago. I also questioned what it was that God was trying to teach me by my being married to Avery.
It was when my dream of being happy with her started disintegrating into nothing that my faith in God had begun to waver. For all I knew, my toxic marriage was the price that I was paying for something I did in a past life. Karma had come back around. But how long was I going to have to pay this hurtful and disillusioning price?
Malcolm started waking up from his nap just as I was exiting the interstate again. I reached behind me and patted him on his leg and my little buddy smiled at me. Whenever he did that, it somehow made everything okay.
He was still groggy when I parked my car in the garage, so I got him out of his car seat and carried him into the house. The heavy scent of garlic was in the air and I realized Avery was cooking. My guess was some kind of Italian dish. When Malcolm and I made it to the kitchen, Avery was in the process of handwashing some dishes. She looked up and then smiled at us.
“Hey, you two,” she said.
I breathed a sigh of relief: she was in a good mood today. When I’d left the house to take my run this morning, she was still asleep, so I couldn’t gauge her emotions. When I got back from my run, she was still asleep and that didn’t change even when it came time for me to leave the house again to go pick up Malcolm from my parents to take him to the zoo.
“Hey,” I said, watching her closely for the slightest shift.
“I hope you’re hungry. I’m baking lasagna and it’s almost done.”
“It smells good. Thank you.”