"Not a chance in hell," Lynn snapped, dark eyes flashing and making me laugh so abruptly that it surprised me.
I'd … needed this. A distraction, and camaraderie. I needed Astrid, but I was too selfish, too afraid, to let her close just yet.Too protective, too. The second she found out what happened to me, she'd blame herself.
I made sure my new scarf was in place when ChaCha fell into step beside me, guiding me to the clinic where I'd have no choice but to face the nightmares stalking me.
But if I didn't do this, I might be like Lynn. I could … I could lose the ability to ever have kids. I didn't want themyet, nowhere near soon, but one day—when I was stable and safe and had someone to share it all with.
I wanted children. And the thought of losing that made me sick.
7
Priest
Igroaned and rolled over in bed for the fifth time, slitting my eyes open to glower at the blackout curtains of the small window of my chapel bedroom. Trying to sleep was useless.
Emotions thrashed in my chest, fear crashing up only to be replaced by blinding panic and then dreadful resignation. Over and over, all night. Luna thrashed in the latent bond until sweat covered my body, and worry for her made me restless.
I'd managed to sleep a couple minutes every now and then, but staying in bed while she suffered was driving mecrazy.
But what could I do? Knock on her room and saysorry to wake you, but I can feel your nightmares through our mating bond and the need to comfort you is strangling me until I can't breathe?
If Giant hadn't been locked away for Astrid’s heat, I'd have knocked on his door and urged her to speak to her sister, to comfort her the way I wished I could.
My own damn secrecy had done this to me. If I'd just told her we were mates, seeing me at her door at four-thirty might not have freaked her out. I could have drawn her into a hug and soothed the jagged edge of her terror until she felt safe. I thought I'd done an okay-ish job of that in the Hunters’ den. She'd certainly left it with more fire than the empty-eyed woman I'd found.
At just after five a.m., I gave up on catching more sleep and threw the covers back, switching on my heater as I moved around, gathering clothes. I was already shivering, sensitive to the cold. Even though I was alone, I could practically hear my younger brothers teasing me for being an old man.
Not that I was thatmucholder than them. I might have been forty-eight, but I could still run a marathon as well as I could in my twenties, and my growl was as strong as it had ever been—the sign of an ageing, weakening alpha. I just liked to be warm, andsureI preferred to stay in and watch TV instead of partying at the clubhouse bar,andI was partial to a mug of hot chocolate, and I owned a pair of slippers but I wasn'told.
I was practically twice Luna's age, though.
I dragged my fingers through my hair, heading into the tiny bathroom attached to my bedroom, and running the shower until the room steamed.
I left my pyjamas—a matching T-shirt and cotton pants from my mum a couple Christmases ago, probably stolen—on the floor in a heap and climbed into the steaming water.
By the time I got out, I'd made a plan. It involved waking and pissing off two people, but they'd forgive me.
I dressed quickly in grey jogging pants, a black T-shirt, and a hoodie, and crossed the tarmac between the chapel and theclubhouse as fast as I could without running. Another thrash of panic and terror hit my chest. My heart twisted.
The clubhouse was completely quiet when I let myself in, needing a key at this hour. I made sure to lock the door behind myself before striding down hallways until I reached Guardian's room. A knock drew a growl from within, and then low voices spoke words I couldn't pick out before heavy footsteps approached and the door opened.
"What is it?" Guardian muttered, rubbing his jaw, his eyes barely open.
"I'm sorry to wake you," I said quickly. "I wouldn't usually ask but—"
"Oh," Guardian murmured gruffly, his eyes clearing. "Has something happened with Luna?"
"I don't know." I shifted my weight to my other foot. "I don't think so. But she'sterrified. And I was wondering if Vienna would go check on her? I can't—she doesn't know…"
Guardian nodded, and reached out to squeeze my shoulder.
"Already getting dressed," Vienna said when Guardian turned to ask, his mouth open. "And don't worry about waking us; Luna's one of us, so I'll always help. Same goes for you, Priest."
"Thank you," I replied genuinely, offering her a relieved smile when she came into view, a jumper thrown hastily over black leggings and her fair hair sticking up on one side.
Guardian chuckled and reached out to flatten the unruly strands, leaning down to meet her for a quick kiss. "Be careful," he murmured.
"I'll be fine," she sighed.