“If there was somethin’ I coulda done,” he said, his voice almost a whisper. “Swear to Christ, Leo, if I coulda helped her, I woulda. But she was already gone.”
“Thanks,” I said, nodding absently as I lifted my head.
“Didn’t want you thinkin’ about that shit, worryin’ what it was like for her.”
“I was.”
“I know, son. I’d have been doin’ the same damn thing.” He cleared his throat. “That’s why I sent Lily to get ya. Wanted to talk to you man-to-man before any more time passed.”
“Nice move,” I said sarcastically, meeting his eyes. “Sending Lil to me.”
“Knew she’d get you here.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Ya haven’t been able to tell her no since she was knee high to a grasshopper. Didn’t see that changin’ just cause you hadn’t seen her in a while.”
“Asshole,” I muttered, only half serious.
“Also figured you’d be glad to see a friendly face.”
“Lots of friendly faces around the clubhouse,” I shot back.
“None that look like my Lily,” he said just as quickly.
“Don’t start steppin’ in shit that’s none of your business,” I warned, pushing myself to my feet.
“I’d think you’d realize by now that it doesn’t matter how old your kids are, they’ll always be your business.”
“I appreciate the talk,” I said, ignoring his words. “More than ya know.”
“Of course,” he said.
“You want me to send Farrah back in here?”
“If you see her.”
“Hell,” I said, scoffing. “You know she’s right outside the damn door.”
“No doubt,” Casper said with a tired smile. “Can’t seem to escape the woman.”
“Like you’d ever want to,” I replied.
As soon as I opened the door, I found Farrah standing across the hall, sipping a coffee as she played a game on her phone. She’d gone where she’d said she was planning to, but I was willing to bet she’d been back in less than five minutes. Like most of the old timers in the club, Farrah and Casper’s relationship was an abnormally close one. You didn’t see one of them without the other very often.
“He’s all yours,” I said as I gestured to the door behind me.
“Thanks, hun,” she replied, shoving her phone into her pocket. “And thanks for coming to see him. He’s been worryin’ about it all day.”
“Of course.”
“I know he sent Lily,” she said slowly, watching my face for a reaction. “Since you showed up, I’ll assume that you didn’t boot her ass out the second you saw her.”
“I didn’t,” I verified.
“Good.” She took a deep breath, then gave me a sad smile. “Sometimes shit doesn’t work out, you know? And I know there’s a lot of hurt on both sides… but try to be kind, alright? My girl was young, and immature, and maybe didn’t handle shit the way she should’ve. But times like these, you’re gonna need your friends. And Lily could be one of the best ones you’ll ever have.”
“I hear you,” I replied.
Without another word, she strode toward Casper’s room and disappeared inside.
Jesus Christ, what a mess. From the impression I’d gotten, both of Lily’s parents were giving me the all clear to… what? Get with her? Start up our friendship again?
I couldn’t even wrap my mind around starting shit up with Lily again. The thought of sinking into her and getting lost for a few days held a fuck of a lot of appeal, but that wasn’t going to happen. Not only did I have to bury the mother of my child, but I also had to somehow completely uproot my two-year-old son’s life and get him used to living with me fulltime. I didn’t have the time or the stomach to navigate the minefield that was Lily Butler.
Twenty minutes after I left the hospital, I pulled up to pick up Gray, and had to take deep breaths as I saw Ash’s mom peek out the front window and then shut off the lights, trying to pretend that they weren’t there. I was exhausted and frustrated and I didn’t have the patience to deal with Kathy, no matter how torn up she was about losing Ashley. I tried so goddamn hard to turn my sympathy for her into understanding, but as I knocked on the door over and over with no answer, I finally snapped.
“Kathy, you don’t want me kickin’ in the door, you’ll bring my son out here now,” I called, watching the front window. Nothing moved, but faintly I could hear Gray calling for me. He must have heard my voice.
I knocked one more time, and when she still didn’t open up, I stepped back, ready to knock the flimsy lock out of the doorframe.
“Oh, Leo,” Kathy said, opening the door with a look of fake surprise on her face. “I thought we’d agreed that I was keepin’ Gray for another night.”
“No, we didn’t,” I replied simply, walking toward her so she had no choice but to move back into the house. I looked around, barely managing to hide my disgust at the musty smell of her house. I’d been there a couple times before, but once Ash had seen the look on my face, she hadn’t invited me again.