Ranger shoots me an agonized look.
“For you, it doesn’t matter, Sydney, because you’re not like them. You don’t get consumed with jealousy and envy, but that’s what happened to Sam and Clement. They got a glimpse of my lifestyle, which only reinforced everything that theydon’thave.”
“You think?” I add through my sniffles.
Ranger nods, tormented.
“I’m sure of it. I’m a billionaire, and the CEO of a massive company. Yet I didn’t think twice about inviting them into my penthouse or taking them to fancy restaurants and covering the bill. I went on vacations too, and they were to places Sam and Clement had never heard of: St. Tropez, or Chamonix, or even Eze in the South of France. They don’t know that shit. Those two lunkheads have never even left the continental U.S.,” he snorts.
“Neither have I,” I remind in a small voice.
Ranger merely sighs again, his broad shoulders sagging.
“I know, but you don’t resent me for those kinds of things. I never should have talked about my lavish vacations, or the hotels we stayed in, or the fact that I have a private jet. Instead, I should have been more aware and just stayed in my lane. What the fuck is wrong with me?”
I hiccup a little.
“It’s not your fault,” I say in a low voice. “You can’t read minds.”
But Ranger merely shakes his head again, his voice vibrating with anger and resignation.
“I should have realized that those fuckers would get jealous and vengeful. And you, Sydney, were the tinder that transformed their rage from a simmering boil into an out-of-control conflagration. They wanted me to get fired, don’t get me wrong, and I deserved to be fired by the TSA too. But those assfuckers just couldn’t stomach the thought that I was able to take you home with me after everything that happened.”
I take a deep breath and look Ranger in the eye, my gaze steady.
“I hear you,” I say in a steady voice. “And I understand why you’re regretful about all of this. Everyone looks back on their lives with some degree of regret.”
Ranger stares at his hands, his expression haunted.
“Yeah, but they don’t fuck up on such a huge scale,” he grinds out. “I mean, kidnapping? Sexual assault? You didn’t have to go through that.”
I let out a shuddering exhale.
“I admit, it was bad,” are my low words. “But I’ll survive. I’m not going to have night sweats or PTSD for years on end. I’m fine. My question, though, iswhydid you lie? Obviously, the air marshal job means nothing to you, so why did you make up all that stuff about the hijacking being a training exercise?”
The air is still for a moment as Ranger continues staring at his hands. But then he looks up and meets my eyes.
“I was wrong to lie,” he acknowledges. “I should have known better, and the lying makes it a thousand times worse. My only excuse is that this was the first time I’ve failed in a major way in my life. It’s the first time I’ve ever had something really go off the rails, and I’m embarrassed and really, totally humiliated. It’s hard, you know? You go from being a Master of the Universe to the greatest fuck-up in all of human history.”
I nod, the story beginning to make more sense now.
“Yes, but you can’t excel at everything,” I say in a slow voice. “No one can. Besides, who cares? You’re an amazing CEO but a crappy air marshal. So what?”
He sighs.
“It’s because the decisions I made as an air marshal were so questionable,” he explains in a low tone. “It’d be one thing if I failed the physical fitness portion of our training, or if I mistook NYPD for Chicago Fire or something. But in this case, all of my decisions on that flight were completely fucked up, so what does that say about me? Did I suffer from a bout of momentary insanity? Why did I lose my mind? Even more, am I fit to be a CEO if I screwed up this bad at my part-time job?”
I shake my head.
“That’s not for me to say because it’s not my expertise,” I say in a simple tone. “But yeah, you shouldn’t have lied. Screwing up, even big-time, is human nature and by trying to pull the wool over my eyes, you only made it worse.”
Ranger looks down, his expression tortured.
“I’m so sorry, Sydney.” Then he lets out a harsh bark of laughter. “I’ve been saying that a lot, haven’t I? I guess that’s what happens when you have an ego the size of Saturn, like me. My guess is that you probably don’t want to see me anymore, and I don’t blame you,” he adds. “I wouldn’t want to see myself, if I were in your shoes.”
I sigh, squeezing my eyes shut for a few moments while pinching the bridge of my nose. I’m still reeling from everything that’s happened today, and although I’m shocked, things do make more sense now. Ranger is accustomed to being a golden boy, but the fact is thatnoone is perfect. We all make mistakes, and now, it’s time to turn a corner because Ranger appears truly penitent about what happened. I sigh again before looking up into those sorrowful blue eyes.
“It’s fine,” I say in an even tone. “It’s not like I haven’t made mistakes in my life, so I shouldn’t be the one throwing stones. Hell, I’ve done a lot of stupid shit in my past, like making that video with the two candlesticks,” I say in a low voice. “Thatwas never supposed to get out, and yet it seems the clip’s been uploaded to every porn tube in town.”