I turned around to make sure he didn’t follow me and the coast was clear.Walking up the steps, I saw a sign for HRA, which I’m assuming had something to do with herpes.I followed the arrows until I came to a room that had people roaming around eating crackers, brie and olives.They all looked normal and none like aliens.The chairs were set up and not in a circle, which was great because all I could think about was the AA groups, “Hi, my name is Samantha and I’m an addict.”I did not want to do that or share the story of how I got it and how I cried and didn’t go back to the doctor until three months later.
I found a seat towards the back and sat down in a row that didn’t look occupied.One lady turned around with a mouth full of crackers and waved for me to move up.I smiled and politely shook my head.She did it again and I raised my hand in the universal way of saying, I’m okay.Then I felt someone touch my shoulder.I immediately turned and looked up.It was a guy who bent down and whispered, “That’s my wife, feel free to ignore her.She wants to know everyone.”
I smiled at him and said, “Thanks, but I’m good here.”
He waved his wife off as if to say, ‘leave her alone’ and then said, “Enjoy yourself.”His wife frowned and he walked up to her and put his arm around her shoulder.They were bunched up together and whispering to one another.They looked cute.After a while, someone stood up to start the event.People sat down and filled in the front rows first, but there were some stragglers like me, who sat away from others and towards the back.I guess we were the newbies.In total there were about thirty people in attendance.
There was an introduction by the host, who explained why they chose to start the group, how long it was in existence and that they are more than just a group, but how many people have become like family.The woman that was trying to get me to sit up front was the first to volunteer to speak, when the host asked if anyone needed to “air.”
“Hi, my name is Lisa, and I just want to say welcome to all the new faces.As most of you know my husband and I have been coming here for several years now after I was diagnosed with herpes.I thought my life was over, but in some ways it just got started.I was so scared to tell Jared because I thought he would think that I cheated on him, but after several months of holding out sex, he cornered me.I don’t want to repeat myself because most of you know the story of this sweet man, but my point is that we’ve been married for nine years and our marriage is stronger now than it ever was.So, for you newbies, keep the faith.It’s not the end of the world, it just might be the beginning of something new.”
Tears stung the back of my eyes, but I looked up and around to get my mind off her words.That’s good for her, but I was batting zero for two in the dating category.Is anyone here going to talk about how to tell someone you have herpes and when?Or should I just search the room and set my eyes on someone here?There were people of all different races, gender and sizes.Talk about a diverse room.Some looked like business women and men, blue collar workers, mothers, fathers, singles, married or partners.The doctor’s words came back to me about how common this disease actually was.In all my readings and research, that was definitely confirmed, but it was something to see how these people here were unashamed.That was liberating.
Some more people ‘aired’, there were some married folks who actually did cheat on their spouses, so they were looking for support on that level, some were single and struggling like me.One guy even said ‘hit me up if you’re interested.’That was funny, but he was dead serious.He wasn’t my cup of tea.A little on the slender side and not really strong enough for me.He had a mousiness to him, which was a turn-off.Good sense of humor though, but no matter what Roslyn thinks, I know that I’m strong and will run over a weak man.Bitch.
The remainder of the meeting was quite good.More people spoke, some people broke down crying and others supported them.Kind of cool, so I think I may try it again.I left the meeting and caught the train home.The events of the day started to play through my mind, Roslyn, Joshua, the meeting, the year, the diagnosis, so I needed some comic relief.I turned on my TV, scrolled to Hulu and watched an episode of Key and Peele.They are hilarious and after laughing out loud several times, I started to feel a little better and decided that tomorrow would be the day that I would start my new beginning.Or at least figure out what that was.
I took a shower, completed my Yoga stretching exercises using the FitTV app on my SmartTV.I set my alarm for 9:30 AM because I wanted to get an early start to my Saturday by walking around the city and thinking.This was how I usually made my final decisions, walking and thinking.My phone buzzed and I figured it was Roslyn trying to talk, but I didn’t want to hear it from her tonight.I was in a good mood and didn’t need that drama.I picked up my phone to turn it off, but there was a text from an unfamiliar 202 number.I opened the text and it was from Joshua.
Lunch tomorrow @ Nandos, on Mississippi Ave.1pm
Sweet dreams Road Runner.
My thoughts from earlier just came back to haunt me.This man had to be some sort of millionaire, to own the freaking Kelly Building, but was it insane for me to turn him down?I said I was strong and wanted someone strong, but what I didn’t want was someone ordering me around.If this thing between me and him progressed, I didn’t want the billionaire playboy to know I had herpes.All I could imagine was my picture, name, occupation and the words –She has Herpes– plastered on the New York style billboards in the Kelly Building.Also on the elevator monitors, in the halls on the displays.Everywhere.I couldn’t risk that.So, I texted back.
Sorry, I have plans.
Also, I’d rather you not pursue me,
because I’m not on the market.
Good night.
I thought that was clear.Despite Roslyn’s belief that I needed more tact, I’ve come to learn that you need to be clear with people because when you sugar coat things, people don’t seem to get the message.Or people just don’t want to get the message, like Mr.Kelly here.Incoming text:
Cancel your plans,
I’ll see you at Nandos.
Business is always on the market.
Oh boy.I can’t argue with this man via text and I dare not call him because he’ll say something crazy.Why, oh why did I give him my business card?This is what having tact gets you.Unwanted attention.I texted back:
Fine, but strictly business.
I saved his number in my phone and reset my phone alarm for an earlier time.I checked the rest of my emails, wrapped my hair and lay down.I started to mentally check off what I need to do tomorrow, besides meet Mr.Kelly at my favorite chicken restaurant and walk around the park a few times.I needed to wash clothes, take some to the cleaners, and dust.I usually had someone come in once a month to clean the place, but I felt like it would be therapeutic to do this myself, since I was contemplating so many things and getting ready for a new beginning.My phone buzzed.
Scouts honor.
*growl*
Oh shit.
I got the feeling that I entered another level of trouble.
To keep reading BOMBSHELL,click here.
Extraction: Chapter 1