“Jerk,” I mutter, but it drifts off into a blissful sigh as his tongue begins to lap me up again, increasing speed and pressure.
Then one thumb curves around my bum and presses into me, just the tip.
“God, yes,” I moan, my limbs straining, heart pounding louder. “More of that.”
Yes, yes, yes.
His voice is muffled as he starts working me faster, his tongue flicking harder, his thumb sliding deeper.
Finally, he’s giving me what we both need.
And in true Daisy fashion, it doesn’t take long at all.
With his thumb and now his tongue both plunging up inside me, his other thumb rubbing circles at my clit, I’m coming…
I already know it’s going to blow my world apart before it even starts.
It’s like every little tightened knot inside of me, every little tense string of anxiety and worry and sadness, all of it, everything negative and dark and buried, has suddenly been cut with a pair of shears. I’m let loose, freed, exploding in all different directions at once, like a beam of light has opened up inside of me, throwing me out into the universe like a confetti cannon.
I am spinning and flying and it’s all so much.
So much.
Too much.
At the top of this flight, where I don’t even know my name, I only know that I have Tai for now. And that for now is not forever.
And as I realize that, I’m trying to hold onto this moment. This moment where I have him. Until now, the only thing I had was the rising sun. Now I’ll do anything not to lose this.
“Oh god,” I whimper. My bones feel hollow, my body weightless. I’m lying on the sleeping bag, bare and vulnerable and fileted to the soul. My feelings snuck up on me like a motherfucking freight train, running me right into the ground.
Fucking hell. He goes down on me once and suddenly it’s like I can’t live without him?
Get a grip, Daisy.
But other than my hands, which have frozen in place around the sleeping bag, I can’t get a grip right now.
I thought this was just sex between us, I thought that’s all I wanted.
That’s usually all I want. I’ve kept my heart out of most entanglements because that’s what it was, an entanglement. A net. A place to be caught and held before you’re hurt. The only person I let myself fall for was Chris, and look what happened with that. Only proved my point, that it’s not worth letting your guard down and letting someone in, because you’re only going to experience pain in the end.
But Tai? I want Tai. All of him. And as much as I pretend that I can do this sex thing with him, I’m going to be devastated when we have to part ways.
I don’t want to say goodbye.
“You okay?” Tai asks, coming up beside me.
I blink at him and realize I have tears in my eyes.
Shit.
I nod. “Yup. Good.” Give him a small, shaky smile.
“You’re crying,” he says, running his finger underneath my eye, wiping the tear away.
“Guess I needed to,” I tell him. “Nothing you did, just…”
“A release?”
“Yeah.”
A release and the realization that this man is going to break my heart.
* * *
I’m hungover and, I have to admit, there’s something comforting about it. Like even though we survived a shipwreck, and we’re stuck on this semi-deserted island, the hangover feels like an old friend. An old friend that likes to smack you upside the head and kick you in the gut, but an old friend nonetheless.
Everyone else is feeling it, too. It was the plan, after all. Morning sex with Tai helped, but we had to hurry back to the barracks before people realized we were missing, and then the hangover reared its ugly head.
We’re all sitting on the beach around the fire. Fred is heating up a pot of coffee on the camping stove, and at the moment, Fred is our savior. We haven’t had coffee since the shipwreck and we need it more than ever.
Finally, it’s ready. Poured into the mugs we drank the wine from last night.
It’s instant, but it’s hot and heavenly.
“Never thought freeze-dried, chemically processed coffee crystals could taste so divine,” Richard remarks. “Elixir of the Gods.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Fred says with a chuckle. “You stay here long enough, drinking that stuff, you’ll start having fantasies about a perfectly brewed espresso.” His eyes go to a dreamy place.
“So do you think you’ll leave with us when the plane comes?” Tai asks him.
Fred shrugs. “Don’t know. Don’t think so.”
“You still have work to do?”
“I don’t want to have to leave Wilson,” Fred says. “Only true friend I got.”
That’s so sweet and sad at the same time. Maybe I’ve been too harsh with that little goat.
Suddenly Lacey starts snickering, looking at something over my shoulder.
“Whatcha got there, Wilson?” Fred asks.