In fact, I think I’m falling in love with him. And truthfully, I’m okay with it. He treats me well, calls me out on my shit, and wants the best for me. I’ve never had a man make love to me and please me in the ways Eli has. We understand each other on a higher level, and over the past few days, I’ve seen a side of him I never imagined. Elijah Ross is the whole damn package, and I want him in my life forever.
The movie ends, and another begins. This time, it’s about a couple who grew up together, lost touch, and are now back in the same town. If I wasn’t so out of it, I’d think it was cute and would be more invested in the story. However, I drift in and out of sleep and go from being ice cold to blazing hot. No matter what I do, I can’t get comfortable. At some point, I wake up and check my temperature, noticing it dropped some. My phone buzzes on my nightstand, and when I grab it, I see it’s my brother. I desperately answer it.
“Just seeing how you are.” He sounds exhausted.
“Fever’s high. Chills and sweats. I’ve taken Tylenol every six hours like clockwork, but it doesn’t seem to do anything. Drinking water. I’m eating, though I’m not hungry,” I explain.
“Seems like you’re doing everything you can. I wish there was something more I could say, sis, but there’s not. Make sure you try to walk around some. It won’t be easy, but it’ll keep your lungs functioning. You’ll be tired, and your fever will probably stay high for a week, maybe a little longer, but keep an eye on it. If it doesn’t go down and your coughing worsens, go to the ER.” He recites it as if he’s repeated that dozens of times to his patients.
I blow out a frustrated breath, feeling overwhelmed by everything he’s said. “I’m going to be okay, right?” I know he can’t answer with certainty, but I still want some comfort from him because he’s seen different scenarios from those who’ve tested positive.
“I’m sure you will. If you feel like you can’t breathe, try rolling onto your stomach. It’s helped some of my patients,” he explains. “Stay hydrated. If you’re cold, don’t cover yourself unless you want your fever to increase.”
I laugh, kick off the blanket and pull the sheet over my body. He knows me so well.
“You’re your own best advocate with your health. If something isn’t right, tell Eli and call your doctor. Most are able to recover from home without major complications, just watch for signs. You know you can text me anytime, too.”
“I know.”
“How’s Eli doing? Keeping his distance from you?” I’m sure Ryan is just as concerned about Eli as I am.
“As far as I know he’s okay. Staying away from me but helping from afar.” I wait a few moments. “How are you?” I ask.
He lets out a lengthy breath. “Good as I can be. Not sure how much longer my colleagues and I can keep working these back-to-back shifts, but we’re short a few doctors because they ended up getting too sick to work. Luckily, we’ve had teams of medical staff fly in from other states to help.”
That’s the most I’ll get out of him about his well-being and don’t push any further because I can only imagine what he’s seen or had to do. It’s a war zone out there. Ryan has been training to save lives for years, but he wasn’t prepared for a pandemic. None of us were.
“Please take care of yourself,” I plead. He’s my best friend, and I can’t imagine losing him.
“You too, Cameron. Call me when your mind wanders and you’re in freak-out mode. I’ll try to calm you down. Don’t forget to take your meds. It might help with your anxiety,” he says sincerely. A deep voice speaks to him in the background. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll check on you as soon as I can.”
“Sounds good. Thank you,” I offer. “Love ya, bro. Take care.”
“Love you too.”
The call ends, and I sit in silence. Uneasiness and fear build inside me, and the walls seem as if they’re closing in.
I’m having a panic attack.
Lying down, I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing, trying to slow my racing heart. I count down from ten, breathe slowly through my nose, and release it through my mouth. It takes several times before I come back to earth and gain control.
My throat’s dry, so I take sips of water, but even that’s exhausting. Eventually, I fall asleep thinking about Eli. Though I’m not the praying type, I send one up, begging he doesn’t get sick. The realization that we were never safe is like a giant slap in the face, and I wish more than anything this wasn’t happening.