I take the same hand and cradle his face, instead. “I feel perfect. Don’t worry for me. No matter what, it’s you and me.”
“You asked if I want to be a father, and yes, I do. Because you’re the mother, Drew. I’ll have one more weakness in this fragile castle that expands without permission. One more weakness. One more worry. Another chink in my armor.” He wraps his hand over mine and interlaces his fingers. “You’d think that would be a deterrent, but it’s not. It’s the exact opposite and I don’t even wonder why.”
“Why?” I ask, voice shaking.
“Because I knew you were mine from the second I saw you.”
I grin. “If I hadn’t wanted to be yours?”
He raises one brow. “Do you think for one second we’d be here, talking about this, if the feelings weren’t mutual? That I wasn’t one hundred percent sure you felt the same palpable chemistry as I do?”
“I know. It’s breathtaking sometimes.” I stare at him, and we lose ourselves for a moment or two. I forget what we’re talking about, but a bout of nausea as the plane dips again reminds me.
There’s an attached bathroom to the bedroom suite, and I throw up into the toilet as soon as I hit my knees.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Drew
The Grot is in the middle of nowhere, so we’re staying in a rented house in a nicer town several miles away. The property is large and easily guarded. Our security team is swarming inside and out. Jesse and Riley have been in the master bedroom for over an hour. There hasn’t been yelling or any loud arguments, but I’m actively trying not to hear anything. I’m in the kitchen making smoothies with Amy. She’s also doing her best to not hear anything. I imagine her job has to be hard. Separating work from all emotion. I turn on the blender and watch the fruit turn into a fine mush. Emotions in everyone are running high. The air is electrified, and no one can escape the buzz.
Amy reaches over and turns off the blender. “You’re turning it into soup.” She pours two large glasses and hands me one. I drink it while staring at her. She stares back. It’s a wordless conversation. One in which we both end by hugging. No one in the family wants the fight to happen, but everyone in the family agrees it has to happen. The irony makes me sick, but that could also be because I’ve been sick since I threw up on the airplane. Amy saw my pale face when we arrived and immediately began taking care of me like I’m a small child.
She pulls away from me. “Why don’t you take a nap or just close your eyes for a while? Tonight is going to be long and wearing.”
“Are you taking a nap?”
She raises her brows. “I might, actually. I’m off all day today and what else are we going to do? Pace around here feeling sick and worrying about tonight? I’d drink to ease my anxiety, but being alert is going to be a need when we get to The Grot.”
I finish my smoothie and put the glass on the counter. “What are the people like there? What is The Grot exactly?”
Amy pulls me to sit with her in the living room, away from a group of the family. She passes me a blanket and covers herself with one. “There are all types that come to these things. When Riley used to fight regularly, we’d been to places like The Grot many times. It is beyond any city limits, so gambling is legal, and no one polices it. Heck, usually the police force is placing the largest pooled bets.” I lean my head on her shoulder. “I wish Callie were here. She’d love this.”
“Reggie wouldn’t be able to handle that, Drew. It’s not fair.”
As it stands now, he’s on the phone with her back in the city while he eyes down every entrance. “I’m glad they have each other. I need to find another primary, Amy. Can you help me do that?”
“I don’t think Riley wants that. His trust pool gets smaller and smaller the more power he gets. After tonight,” she says, voice cracking on the last word. “He’ll need to surround the inner circle with only those he trusts with his life. I agree. You need a new primary guard. I don’t see how that will happen anytime soon.”
Riley opens the door to the master bedroom. He stomps down the stairs seeking me out. When his gaze lands on me, it softens. His hair is tousled, and he looks weary. I remember to exhale—his magnificence stealing my breath. I stand, keeping the blanket, wrapping it around my shoulders. “Everything okay?” I ask quietly. As it should be, the whole room is watching Riley—judging his demeanor and mood. You can hear a pin drop.
He pulls me into him, tipping my chin up, uncaring that we have an audience. Leaning over, he kisses me, his lips a warm brush against mine. “Much better now,” he says, kissing me slowly once more. Those around us go back to what they were doing before because now it feels awkward to be in a moment so private. “You have ten minutes up there with him. He wants to talk to you before he leaves.” His eyes tell me this was a concession, and he’d rather I wasn’t going upstairs to his brother. Riley clears his throat. “I thought you might want to talk to him. It will be the last chance before,” he adds, letting the sentence hang.
“He wants to talk to me?” The hazy drunk conversation from the night before comes to mind. He didn’t want anything to do with me. “Okay,” I add. “If you’re okay with it.”
He releases me, palming my cheek. “I love you, lamb.” My pet name spoken in front of others means more than the first three words.
“I love you, too.”
Riley’s hand slides down my arm to end at my wrist. The bracelet. A silent reminder before I leave. “Give him what he wants,” he says.
I smile my acknowledgment and go upstairs, each foot feeling heavier than the last. Is that grief? I can’t pinpoint it. Jesse is waiting in the doorway when I turn the corner.
If Riley looked weary, Jesse looks more so. Dark circles hang under each eye. He smiles, but it only tips on one side when he sees me. “Wasn’t sure you’d want to see me.” Brushing past him, I go into the room to get away from the security guards posting nearby. Jesse closes the door and locks it after Reggie follows me in. By now, it’s easy to pretend Reggie is an inanimate object meant to protect only. He doesn’t care what’s said in this room, only that I’m delivered to his king unharmed after.
“Wasn’t sure I had much of a choice.” I pull the blanket around my shoulders tighter.
Jesse paces, both hands on the top of his head, pulling at his hair. “You shouldn’t be in this mess. This wasn’t supposed to end like this.”