“Are you sure?” I ask.
She nods and puts him carefully in my arms.
I look down at him in awe. He’s so brave...to be that brave. I wonder where his father is, if he knows what’s happened? News of Rebel’s kidnapping has spread across the Regions overnight. If he wasn’t famous already, he would be now.
“Langley is a bitch,” I say coldly. “It was a joy stealing what she stole.”
“There are more babies out there who need to be reunited with their mothers, Phoenix,” she says.
She has a peculiar look on her face. It’s so intense I can’t look away.
Rebel fusses and she stands up to take him from me. As she bends over us, her hands cover mine and I lean my forehead against hers. We stay like that for a few moments, the three of us being still, together.
For a few days, we pretend nothing is wrong, but the oppressive heat and the toads, which sing all night long, keep everyone awake. We’re a family of sorts, cooing over the baby and eating our meals around my grandparents’ worn kitchen table. The only person missing is Jackal, who hasn’t been here since the night he brought Rebel back to his mother. I miss him fiercely, but with a new driver and handler, he can’t risk being seen coming to the farm. I’ve had moments with him after performances, but it’s been stolen kisses and rushed words. In my heart, I know it can’t go on like this forever, but I push the thought away. We all secretly read the articles, watching the coverage of Rebel’s kidnapping with growing trepidation. It’s only a matter of time until they come here asking questions since I was in the house the night he was taken. I’m surprised they haven’t already covered the full guest list.
Moma and Mama B went home after their ordeal. We’ve sent messages but have limited our interaction until things blow over. I wake up on one particular day feeling off and am unable to put my finger on why. The house is quiet when I walk to the kitchen. I find Gwen standing next to the coffee machine staring at her empty mug.
“We’re leaving tonight,” she says quietly.
I look at her, already shaking my head.
“It’s not safe for you if we stay here, and there’s so much work to be done. Look at how much time I’ve missed with him already—imagine how all the others feel who have been apart from their babies longer. I have to do something.”
“Why can’t you do it here?” I ask, even though I already know the answer.
“It’s only a matter of time before they come here, Phoenix. We can’t be here when they do.”
“Then I’m going with you,” I say.
“You have a life here. I don’t even know where we’re going to sleep, how we’re going to eat. My entire life rests in the kindness of strangers.”
“Where will you go?” My voice trembles. “And are you positive it’s a foolproof plan?”
“Nothing is foolproof.” She smiles faintly. “We’re going to the Green. The Revolution has friends there. Jewel and my contact from the Red have arranged somewhere for us to stay. Looks like change starts in the west.”
I shake my head. “The change started with you.” I hesitate before saying the rest of what’s on my mind, but I can’t let it go. I want her to be happy. “Don’t you want to find Folsom?”
She looks down at her feet and studies her boots before saying anything. When she does, she has tears in her eyes. “I don’t even know where he went. And there’s too much to do here than go chasing after a man who is finally free.”
Tahira peeks in to see if we’re still crying and when she sees us, she nearly backs out again, but Gwen waves her in.
“Too much emotion going on in here,” Tahira says. She gives me a side hug and moves away to pick up her books from the table. “Can’t forget these…”
“What can I do to help?” I ask.
“Carry on. Act normal. Don’t you have to be at rehearsal soon?” Gwen looks at the time on the Silverbook. “Give us one more hug and then go,” she whispers, her eyes welling up again. “I can’t do long goodbyes.”
THIRTY
PHOENIX
Female snakes can store sperm for up to five years.
The day after Gwen leaves, I grieve the loss of all the people I’ve grown to love. My life was simple before them, sparse and tidy and...a void existence. I don’t know what to do with myself now. I got too attached to the baby, too accustomed to easy smiles and being with people who take me as I am.
I come back to the apartment to take my shower after a late evening’s performance. I don’t want to be around the company right now, their two-faced smiles and words grate more than ever now that I know what it means to have true friendships. I’m drying off when I hear someone at the door. I freeze, my mind entertaining every horrific possibility of who could be ringing my doorbell. I glance at the time.It’s not the police, I tell myself as I shrug into my robe. I leave my hair in the towel, and run for the door, groaning when the knock gets more aggressive.
“I’m coming already!” I yell.