Didn’t he always?
His gut instinct was to look at it from every angle. The past had taught him to keep his back up, and with Paisley he’d let it down.
He’d fallen for her and made her into the hometown sweetheart that he’d never encountered before. Couldn’t he trust that’s what she was? At least until she proved otherwise?
“That’s all, folks. You’re free for the evening. Don’t forget to collect your swag bags on the way home and have a merry Christmas,” Cass said.
Desi hugged him and then went to join Lorenzo, and he saw Paisley standing there under the lighted arch watching him and waiting. He walked back over to her.
“So you wanted to tell me something?”
She bit down on her lip. “Well, I...”
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah... I just think I didn’t realize what your life is really like. I mean, is this...? Never mind. I don’t want to ruin our evening.”
He knew that like him, she was feeling her way through this relationship. Things had been so much easier for him as Jack. Because Jack had no commitments, no fans and no real life. “Let’s go find a quiet place for this talk.”
She raised both eyebrows at him. “I said never mind.”
“Yeah, but we both know that you don’t mean never mind. Let’s get out of here and head back home.”
“Yours or mine?”
“Either,” he said, but didn’t say out loud that both felt like theirs. He wasn’t as sure now as he’d been before.
He led her out of the ballroom as their driver texted he was out front. They got into the back of the car.
As they started to pull away, she tipped her head to the side. “There is something a little odd about how well you know me.”
“We lived with each other for months.”
“I know, but now that you’re you, it’s...well, different.”
“Fair enough,” he said. “I’m glad for that time we had before. It was easier.”
She tipped her head to the side, pursing her lips. “Because it wasn’t real.”
“What is real?” he prodded, mainly to see if he could distract her.
“Do you really want to talk about philosophy and perceptions of reality?” she asked.
“No, but sort of. I mean it does seem easier to discuss abstract theories than to talk about us.”
She gave a little laugh. “So true. But here’s the thing...” She clenched her hands together in her lap. “Okay, I’m just going to say it without trying to figure out if I should or not. All right?”
That sounded...not good. “Sure.”
“You are never really going to be able to live here with me, are you? I mean you can stay here for Christmas but this isn’t your life.”
He leaned against the seat and looked out the window and the passing Chicago skyline as the driver turned down the familiar road that led to her apartment. No, he couldn’t live here in her apartment in Chicago. He needed more privacy than her place afforded, but a part of him wanted to live with Paisley and he didn’t really see a scenario where she moved to LA.
“Your apartment, well, no, but here in Chicago with you, I think yes. That’s what I was suggesting.”
“I need you to be totally honest with me. Are you serious right now?”
“I am. But I have a feeling that you’ve been reassured in the past by your dad so that might not really help...” Sean knew that for the both of them, relationships were hard. He was secretive by nature and for practicality’s sake. Whereas she needed the blunt brutal truth all the time after being raised by a man who lied to her and everyone else.