I let him make me fall in love, for starters. And I hate him for it almost as much as I hate myself.
With my tote bag in one hand and my backpack over the other shoulder, I creep out into the hallway again. It’s going on two-thirty now, and what was soft snoring at first has become considerably louder. I have to wonder if everybody in the house is asleep, or at least halfway there, because why wouldn’t they go wake him up?
Either way, that works for me. I check my phone to make sure there are cars in the area—it’s not a surprise that there are since the bars are still serving for another couple of hours. I’m sure plenty of people need a ride at this time of night.
Where am I going to go? I’m not sure. That’s the one thing I haven’t figured out by the time I’m tiptoeing down the stairs, holding my breath, and watching the guard for any signs of movement. The only thing that moves is his chest as he snores. Once I reach the bottom of the stairs, I look around, through to the kitchen, just in case somebody’s walking around in there. It’s just as dark and quiet as everywhere else in the house.
I feel like I’m right back in the beginning, trying to sneak out while Enzo was asleep on the couch. This time, I’m fully dressed, and I’m not practically empty-handed like I was before. But I’m just as scared—even more scared than before because this isn’t just about me. I have the baby to think about, too. I need to believe this is for their sake just as much as it is mine.
It’s the only thing that keeps me going as I open the door slowly, making sure there’s nobody out front. There isn’t; the area is free and clear. Maybe somebody was supposed to be out here but went inside. It doesn’t matter. I hustle down the driveway before requesting an Uber, then walk through the development and out to the main road to wait for them to pick me up.
I’ll figure something out. For now, it’s enough to know I won’t have to face him tonight. I couldn’t do it without breaking down.
“It’s okay, baby,” I whisper. “We’re going to be okay.” Even if I don’t know how.
20
ENZO
“They’d better be fucking careful with that thing.” Prince is none too happy, glaring out the windshield at the pair of men assigned to watch the Alvarez compound this morning. They weren’t able to conceal their childlike glee at having such an expensive toy to play with, though they promised to take care of it. “I’ve kind of become attached.”
This again. He acts like the damn thing is an extension of his body. “I’ll buy you ten new drones, for God’s sake. What’s the big deal about a drone?”
“It’s mine.” He leaves it there, as simple as that. And the fact is, I can’t pretend I don’t relate. What’s mine is mine. All the substitutes in the world won’t make up for it.
It’s no surprise when my thoughts turn to Alicia. “Christ, I didn’t think we would be out this long.” The sun is on the rise as we make the drive back to the townhouse, and already traffic is getting heavier. So many worker bees on their way to the hive. As always, I’m grateful to have avoided that drudgery.
“I’m not the one who refused to tear himself away.” Prince cuts himself off with a yawn before adding, “I was ready to go home.”
“You sure I shouldn’t be the one driving?” I ask when he rubs a fist over one eye.
“I’m fine. Though I could use some coffee.” He flips on the signal like he wants to take the upcoming exit, where there’s a mall surrounded by fast-food shops.
“There’s coffee at the house.”
“It’s never as good, and I’m hungry now. With this traffic—”
“Which is more reason to keep going. I don’t feel like sitting twenty minutes in a drive-thru, then hitting even heavier traffic after that.”
“Fine, fine. But I would like to state again for the record that you’re the one who couldn’t bring himself to leave hours ago.”
“And you were the one who was so excited when I suggested we charge the drone in the car.” I pick up the cable, still plugged into the dashboard. “You didn’t want to stop playing with your toy. And it isn’t like we didn’t stop off for a break.” The car still smells like cheeseburgers and fries, an aroma I enjoyed at the time but now turns my stomach slightly.
He grumbles but remains on the road. I can only be grateful he isn’t offering more of an argument. I’m not in the mood, not that I would be normally, but especially not after hours spent in the car, just the two of us.
He’s right. I didn’t want to leave, and as soon as I looked up the drone’s model number and found how easy it would be to charge it in the car, I leaped at the idea of extending our stakeout. We’re no further along than we were hours ago. It was a waste of time.
Though thanks to the drone, I now have a clear image in my head of the compound. Entrances, surrounding structures, and roughly how many guards Josef has out there at night. That information could come in handy at some point. In our world, information is priceless.
“What’s the hurry to get home?” Prince mutters. Clearly, he isn’t over being denied his latte or whatever the fuck he wanted.
“For starters, it’s home?” I offer. “Where I can take a shower, change my clothes, and not feel so rumpled and soiled? Isn’t that enough? And since when do you question my decisions?”
“I was only asking.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t sulk. If it makes you feel better, go get whatever you want after you drop me off. What I want more than anything now is my bed, after showering.”
All it takes is the slightest snort from him—so soft as to be nearly inaudible.