“But he’s trying, that’s more than we can say about the others. Hell, he’d be the first one to declare an Ol’ Lady since I was brought in. It means he really cares about you. I haven’t seen him with anyone else. When it comes to other girls, he pushes them away.”
She shrugged again, then laid her head back on the couch. “He’s a nice guy, and a lot better than the rest of those assholes. But I just don’t see a future with him, even if he’s the father of my child.” Her hand rested on her stomach, and she rolled her head to look at me.
“What would you do if Snyder asked you to be his Ol’ Lady? You know, in a perfect world where Sabbath didn’t exist?”
I mirrored her stance, lying back against the couch in complete exhaustion.
“In a perfect world... there would be no bikers or clubs. I’d be free to live my life the way I want to. My parents wouldn’t be stuck-up assholes who don’t give a shit about me, and I’d be a successful businesswoman just like I had planned all along, instead of dropping out of college. But this isn’t a perfect world. My parents are still the worst people ever. There’s still a club with asshole alpha bikers who use me for their own advantage, and all my hopes of running my own business died the day I put on Sabbath’s cut and quit college.”
She laid a friendly hand on my arm. “You never talk about your family. Is that why?”
I nodded, willing the tears away. “My parents liked to control me. For most of my life, I was told to sit up straight, always look pretty, never talk to that person, and annunciate my words. My brother and sister have these big fancy jobs, and always lived up to their expectations, but I was the family disgrace. I had plans to open my own book store one day, but it would have some cool gimmick that drew people in. When I told my parents about it, they called me worthless, and told me that I was going to end up a deadbeat just like my loser boyfriend. I was dating Monte at the time. Eventually, their harsh words caught up to me and I dropped out of school, turning my back on my dreams forever. I’ll never be more than Sabbath’s Ol’ Lady, Ramona. I’m completely useless and fucking worthless.”
Ramona’s brow narrowed. “Shasta, I don’t know where this self-pity bullshit is coming from, but you’re far from worthless. You’re one of the strongest women I know.”
She brought me in for a much-needed hug. “I told him if I ever left, I’d take you with me.”
“Who?”
“Snyder. I told him I would only leave the Outlaws if I knew you were safe. And the only way I can ensure that is by taking you with me.”
“Girl, where I really appreciate the sentiment, I can honestly take care of myself. I’ll know when it’s time for me to get out of here. I’m just saving up enough money until I can get my own place.”
“How are you getting money?”
“The girls have been paying me to do their hair. I have my own salon set up over there. Haven’t you seen it?”
I shook my head. “No, I’ve been so consumed with my own bullshit, I wasn’t paying attention. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I know you have a lot going on.”
“Even more so now.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because while I was beingkidnapped.”I air quoted the word. “I might have sorta fucked Warrant and Skid.”
“Oh shit! How the hell did you pull that off?”
“I found out their secrets and exploited them. But I’m worried they’re going to say something. Especially Warrant. He’s a loose cannon that I don’t quite understand. He said if I ever said anything, he’d kill me before Sabbath ever got a chance.”
“Well, maybe you should expose their secrets before they expose yours?”
I shook my head. “Unfortunately, I don’t believe in revealing other people’s personal business. If they expose me, then I guess I’ll face my fate. But I’m going to do my best to honor both of them and hope they join the let’s kill Sabbath bandwagon.”
She giggled. “Can I sign up for that, too?”
“Sure! I’m hoping that when his time comes, we’ll make it painful, torturous, and fill him with millions of holes.”
Her head bobbed in agreement. “Yes, please allow me to administer one of those holes, or twenty, when the time comes.”
“I’ll do my best, but that’s only if he doesn’t get to me first.”
Silence settled between us. Deep down, we both knew it was only a matter of time before Sabbath found out just how deep the deception in this club cuts. And that deep, irreparable wound started with me.
Chapter Fourteen
Skid