I appreciate the fact that she is just trying to cheer me up, but it isn’t working. Nothing can help the way that I am feeling right now.
“Besides,” she smiles as she checks my blood pressure. “Who knows, maybe you’ll find your Romeo soon and then you’ll be all taken care of. There was even just a super-hot guy in the hospital hallway a few minutes ago. He had eyes the color of hot chocolate and the kind of build that makes a woman swoon. By the way he was dressed all fancy, he looked like a million bucks!”
“Abillionbucks,” I correct her, knowing instantly that the man she saw in the hallway was Hunter.
“Excuse me?” she asks in confusion.
“Never mind.”
I wipe my face with the corner of my hospital gown and wait for Jax to come and pick me up.
I feel absolutelyguttedwhen he drops me back off at my empty apartment.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay with me tonight?” Jax asks. Worry is laced over his features. “Or I can stay here with you at your apartment tonight if you want. It can be like old times, like a sleepover and movie night with just the two of us.”
“Thanks,” I say as I give him a big hug. “You’re always taking care of me, and I love you for it. But tonight, I just want to have some quiet alone time and some space to think.”
“Okay,” he says, still not convinced that I should be alone in my misery.
When he leaves, I make myself a cup of hot tea, then curl up on my couch with a book. I wish that I had a fireplace here in my small apartment. It wouldn’t even need to be a big one like the one in Hunter’s mansion, just a tiny hearth to have a small, crackling fire in.
I wonder if Hunter is sitting in front of his fireplace right now, with his glass of scotch in hand while Teddie and Archie are tucked in all cozy in the upstairs bedroom.
I pull the blank check out of my pocket and stare at it. I could write any amount that I want in it. I could make sure that my baby has all the same kinds of fineries and baubles that Teddie has. But when I think about Teddie’s most prized possession, it isn’t any of the fancy things that his dad showers him with, it’s that raggedy stuffed bear that he carries around. It’s not about the money, it’s about the feeling of family. And that is perhaps the saddest thing about all of this. The three (almost four) of us would have made such a great little family if only things had been different.
Chapter Twelve
Hunter
I take some time off of work to spend with my son.
I can’t even remember the last time that I took a workday off just to be with Teddie, and it makes me feel like a deadbeat dad to admit that to myself. Here I have been working nonstop and growing this company and not devoting all of my time to my most precious growing investment—my boy. I’ve been amassing my fortune instead of amassing memories with Teddie, and it is finally starting to dawn on me that none of what I have been doing is worth it.
This whole sexy, moody billionaire image that I keep trying to portray in order to maintain a viable image for my company is just simply not worth it. And it might not even be as necessary as I once thought it was. After all, who cares what my personal life looks like if my company is still making money, my clients are all happy, and my employees are thriving? Maybe I’ve gotten this all wrong. Maybe pouring myself into work in order to secure Teddie’s future isn’t what heor Iactually need.
I spend the day with my son, just the two of us, and give my nanny a few days off. And I am surprised by how very much fun Teddie and I have together with just the two of us. We sprawl out on his bedroom floor playing cars, build a blanket fort in the living room in front of the fireplace, and make hot fudge sundaes.
“Tabitha tried to make s’mores with me once,” Teddie says as we both dig our spoons into our sundaes.
“Oh yeah?” I ask with one raised brow. “How did they turn out?”
Teddie looks at me hesitantly as if he’s worried, I’ll be mad at his answer.
“She almost set the living room on fire, but it’s okay because she didn’t.”
Out of the mouth of babes.
I burst out laughing and then Teddie starts to laugh too.
“Do you miss her?’ he asks.
My laughing comes to an abrupt stop.
“Yeah, I do. Do you miss her?”
Teddie nods.
As we sit there finishing our ice cream in silence, I become more and more convinced that I have gotten itallwrong. I want to change my entire image around. I want to introduce my son to my company employees and let the public know that I’m adad, not a playboy billionaire. I want to chase after Tabitha and tell her thetruthabout how I feel about her—that I am madly in love with her and can’t think about my life without her in it anymore. Suddenly, I feel stupid for having not done all of these things much,muchsooner.