He jams his finger into the elevator button as he speaks, and as the doors part almost immediately, he disappears between them. Right there in front of me, able to be touched, and then… gone.
“Andries,” I whisper uselessly, clenching my fists until my fingernails make little indentations in my palms with the force of it.
I could throw a fit, jamming the buzzer until he finally had to face me again, but this confrontation had taken everything in me. I’m humiliated, and I leave the lobby in a haze of tears, the sidewalk blurring as I flee. I have no idea where to go, so I just walk for a few minutes, my head down, trying to swallow my sobs.
Suddenly, on my right side, I stumble on a jazz piano bar that I had heard about from some of my older past clients. Well, I desperately need a drink right now. Figuring a bar is a bar, I jerk the door open and enter, making a beeline for a bar stool. The interior is dark, smoke from cigarettes, cigars, and other smokeables curling in the air like a low fog that never dissipates. Someone is in the corner playing a rollicking song, faster than I’dhave thought a man his age could play, and it makes for a rather bizarre soundtrack for my misery drinking.
As the bartender slides me a brandy, the next bizarre thing happens. As I take my first drink, someone lowers themselves into the stool next to me, and to my surprise, it’s Dan.
“I have to say,” he starts. “This is not the place I’d have guessed would be your haunt, Ms. Feng.”
I chuckle. “Any port in a storm at this point.”
He orders his own drink but continues talking to me. “So why are you here, then? Secret jazz fan? Love going home smelling like an ashtray and old man cologne?”
I raise an eyebrow. “I could ask you the same question.”
“The former. And maybe a tiny bit of the latter. But don’t tell anyone.”
I smile in spite of myself. Dan is loose-limbed and calm next to me, without a care in the world. It’s an attitude I wish I could copy. Still, I can’t pull myself out of the misery I’m feeling, and it shows in my words.
“I’m surprised that you’re giving me the time of day, considering how everything went down between Andries and I.”
Dan swirls his glass, ice clinking against the sides and the pianist launches into yet another tune that is wholly inappropriate for what I’m feeling. Dan looks at me for a long moment, considering.
“You really love him, huh?”
“Yes,” I answer miserably.
He blows out a breath. “Can I tell you something, Roxanne?”
He sounds strangely serious, so I nod, wondering what kind of new misery he’s going to put on me. Maybe explaining like Elise had, but in kinder terms, how Tatiana is the right person for Andries, or letting me know that Andries is moving far from here and I’ll lose any chance of reconciling. Or, even worse,Andries hates me completely and utterly, and I was wasting my energy trying to fix things between us.
It isn’t any of those things, but it still manages to surprise me, nonetheless.
“I knew who you were from the very beginning,” Dan confesses. “Well, from the first time I met you in Ghent, that is.”
My eyes go wide. “You knew I was an escort? Since Ghent?”
“Uh-huh. I was floored, naturally, but I didn’t want to ruin anything between the two of you by sticking my nose where it didn’t belong. I didn’t put the pieces together in my mind that he didn’t know what your job was until after we left the dinner where he introduced you, and at that point I could see how smitten he was with you.” He seems genuinely regretful as he continues, which surprises me. “I sort of knew that things were going to implode as the secret went on longer and longer, but you two were so in love. I really thought you’d pull through.”
This news has me reeling, more confused than ever. “How could you possibly have known me?”
“You probably don’t remember, but I hired some of your girls for my red-light party a while back at my home. It was packed and chaotic, but I noticed you in the crowd, with some of the girls I hired, and I could tell they looked at you with respect. I pulled one aside and asked who you were, since I didn’t recall your photo on the page where I selected who to hire, and she replied, ‘My boss.’”
I remember perfectly well the party he’s talking about. It’s the one Karl told me to attend, knowing that Andries would be there. It feels like ages ago.
“You’re right, I’m sorry if I didn’t recognize you at Ghent.”
“Nah, don’t worry about that. I just wanted you to know I didn’t go digging around the Internet to find your identity or anything. And that I have zero issue with what you and youremployees do for a living. Obviously, since I’ve… well… partaken of your services, I guess you could say.”
I open and close my mouth, trying to think of what to say. Dan breaks the silence with an added, “I was a very satisfied customer! I mean, wow, what a glorious business you’re running.”
“Thanks, I think.” I take a long drink, holding up my finger to signal the bartender for another. “I guess I’m just surprised to hear that you’re so pro sex-work when your best friend views it as a mortal sin.”
“Ah. Well. Andries is… the product of his family and the environment he grew up in, you know what I mean?” I shake my head, so he continues. “He grew up in a bubble and can’t understand the concept of women willingly selling sex in a first world country. He hasn’t been on his own long, and all those old money lessons of properness and honor are still with him. He’s the most intense monogamist you’ll ever meet.”
“Christ, Dan. This is a lot to swallow.” He raises an eyebrow, mouth quirking up, and I punch him in the arm. “Oh, fuck you, Dan. Don’t be gross.”