That doesn’t sound like any mother I know. I’ve heard countless times from guys how their mothers are pushing them to settle down, to find the one, and to give them grandchildren. Red flags are popping up all over the place right now.
I wonder if he sees them too and it’s why he didn’t want to answer my question.
“Well,” I can practically see the dude rubbing the back of his neck, “all of them except for one. It was my first girlfriend from high school. Mom loved her and she could do no wrong.”
“Okay,” I hold out the word. “Why didn’t it work out with your high school girlfriend?” I’m quick to add on, “I’m not saying it should have. Let’s be real, it’s not common for high school relationships to last long when you’re talking about teenage hormones and so many life changes around the corner. Young and dumb isn’t a just a phrase,” I laugh with my last words to lighten the mood and he laughs as well.
Fucking phew.
“She cheated on me,” the dude sounds fucking gutted, and I feel for him.
“Does Mom know that?”
“Well, no.” He sighs deeply. “Mom loved her so much and I never had the heart to tell her. I just let her think it ended mutually because we were going off to college and all.”
“I get it. No one wants to break their mama’s heart.” He snorts out a laugh. “Maybe it’s time for a few hard truths with your mom because if it isn’t the woman you’re seeing right now, it will be another woman.”
“I don’t want another woman. My girlfriend is it. I’m going to marry her. I love her,” his voice is fierce with conviction.
I kind of admire the guy. He knows what he wants and he’s not afraid to say it. That tapping starts again, but I push it aside. Not the time to get lost in my own shit.
“Then it’s time to come clean with Mom. She’s doing herself, and you, a disservice by comparing all other women to a girl who cheated on you in high school. She’s not willing to give anyone else a chance. If you don’t fess up, then it won’t change.”
“Yeah,” he sounds so dejected I kinda want to give the guy a hug.
“You don’t want to get to the point where you feel like you have to pick between your mom and the woman you love,” I make my voice gentle, not trying to drop a bomb on him. “The holidays are right around the corner. Now is the time for family and I’m sure you want to feel comfortable with taking your girlfriend around your mom, but the way it is now will only continue to put a strain on things.”
“You’re right. I know it, I just hate to disappoint my mom.”
“You’re not disappointing her. That chick from way back disappointed her and your mom doesn’t even know it.”
“You’re right,” there’s determination in his voice now. “I’m going to come clean and then tell Mom that she has to stop comparing everyone else to my past. It’s not fair to me or the woman I’m in love with.”
“There ya go,” my voice is bright, and I breathe a sigh of relief because I really don’t want to have to advise anyone to tell their mom to fuck off.
“Just remember, moms are special, ya know. They want the best for their kids. Make sure she knows your girlfriend is the best person for you. It might not happen right away, but she’ll come around. If she doesn’t then you also know where you stand. Moms are pretty awesome, but they’re just people at the end of the day.”
“Thanks Corbin,” the guy gushes and I can only hope I actually helped.
I felt like my radio show was kind of like my life. I stumble through it hoping for the best and that I don’t fuck anyone else up during my daily adventures. Isn’t that all you can hope for in life?
A long time ago, I wanted to believe there was more to life, but it’s hard to reconcile when you keep stumbling around and don’t find anything. I realize that is on me, but I don’t know how to fix it or find a purpose.
I have my show and it’s enough. I have Justice and she’s enough. I have something and it’s better than nothing.
The feeling comes back, something trying to remind me, to show me, but I don’t know what it is.
With the holidays around the corner there are a lot more calls about people who want to know how to break up with their partner because they don’t want to stress about the holidays and a relationship. Then there are people stressed out and wondering how to make a new person in their life part of their holiday celebrations. The hardest calls are those where people are trying to figure out how to move forward through the holidays after a break-up or a divorce.
After those calls, I always think I am not the right guy to be giving advice about this kind of thing. I keep it real and try to keep people focused on what they want, what they don’t want, and how both of those things can make the people in their life feel.
I’m pretty sure I fuck it up more than I get it right.
The last call of the night is a woman who sounds nervous, “I made a New Year’s resolution, and the year is almost up. I was just going to forget about it, ya know?”
I joke, “I never even make resolutions because I can’t keep them.”
She chuckles, but it is a little too high. “I was okay with not following through, but now I want to claim my coal.”