She bit down on her bottom lip, and if I wasn’t so wrapped up in the memory, I probably would have found it sexy. “How pissed were they when they got home?”
“About the party? That was really bad, but when they walked in to find me fucking Gretchen Fuller in their bed—well, that was unforgivable.”
“Oh, no.” She put her hand over her mouth and spoke through her fingers. “In your parents’ bed?”
“Not my best idea, but space was limited, and I’d already let my friends Preston and Cassidy use my room.”
It wasn’t done out of kindness. My bed was just a twin, and he was so wasted, I figured nothing was going to happen—and I’d been right. I found out later that Cassidy had driven Preston’s drunk ass home only a few minutes before my parents arrived, so they’d narrowly avoided getting caught.
“I’m not kidding,” I said, “when I tell you my parents felt so disrespected, they tried to disown me. I bounced around that summer between friends’ houses until my sister talked to my parents. She convinced them to let me come home,” I lifted my hands to make air quotes, “on a trial basis.” My mouth filled with a sour taste at the memory. “Which I’ve been on ever since, the last three years. I have to do exactly what they say. Any kind of fuck-up, and they’ll pull me from school.”
“That’s why you didn’t tell them about getting kicked out.”
I nodded. “I had to beg them to let me join Sigma Phi Alpha. The only reason they did was because it wasn’t a party house back when my dad pledged. They have no idea how much it has changed since.”
She hesitated. “Do you have a plan for telling them you’re not a Sig anymore?”
“Not a good one, but it’s worked so far. If I can survive the summer semester, I’ll tell my parents I want to move out and live off campus my final year. I think the hard part’s over. They don’t check on me as much in the summer.” I let my expression turn serious. “I almost didn’t make it, though, with that surprise lunch. He caught me totally off guard, which was stupid. I was overdue for a check-in.”
“A check-in?” She looked confused.
“My dad told me he was on this side of town and his client canceled, but I doubt it. It was most likely an excuse so he could make sure I was going to class.”
She frowned at the idea, and—yeah. It sucked. I’d spent three years being perfect to try to rebuild their trust, but I hadn’t made any progress at all. It was why I’d decided to give up, say fuck it, and take the job with Petal Productions.
I pretended to resettle myself on the bed, using it to move subtly closer to her.
“Do you have any idea how much you saved my ass?” I asked. “Seriously. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She shifted, trying to get comfortable, and it brought her near. “Thanks for letting me crash in your bed.”
“Anytime.”
I’d said it as a joke, but it didn’t come out that way, and the scary thing was I might have meant it. It clung in the air like a fog enveloping us, urging us forward, so I inched closer. Whatever wall was between us, it was crumbling fast.
“Hey, listen,” I said, hushed. “About the tournament? I’m sorry about everything.” Surprise blinked through her face, but I kept going. “I’m sorry that Riley cheated, and no one believed you, and for the stupid thing I said.”
Her mouth opened, just wide enough to let out a breath. Then, she leaned forward, like she wanted less space between us. “And I’m sorry for the stupid thing I did. If I hadn’t lost my temper, we wouldn’t be here.”
“Being here . . . isn’t so bad.” I’d put weight behind the statement, wanting her to know I wasn’t just talking about the house.
The music I’d put on wasn’t just sleepy—it was romantic. The atmosphere in the room filled with gravity, pulling us toward each other.
I felt close to her. Not just physically or intimately, but like the bond between us had strengthened. She was the only person who understood everything I’d been through. Was I now the same for her?
I knew it wasn’t allowed, that she was going to shoot me down, but I told her anyway. “I want to kiss you.”
She swallowed so hard, I heard the click of her throat. “Now?”
“Yes, Mads,” I said. “Right now.”
Time slowed, and she did with it. I waited for her to remind me of why we shouldn’t, but she seemed frozen. Had I broken her?
Finally, she pulled in a shaky breath, and it came from her in barely a whisper.
“Okay.”
SEVENTEEN
Colin
Mads looked legit terrified as I lifted my hand and traced my fingertips over her cheekbone. I sensed I was only going to get one chance at this, and I did not want to fuck it up.