The second chance they’d given me after the prom incident? It hadn’t really been a chance at all. Ever since they’d caught me in their bed, they’d been waiting for this. They’d known without a shadow of a doubt I’d disappoint them again.
Happy to fulfill the prophecy, I though bitterly.
He’d asked if I’d been in a porno, and I lifted my defiant gaze up to meet him. “Several.”
The muscle running along his jaw flexed. He hated my answer, but he hated how unapologetic I’d said it even more. His infuriated eyes demanded an explanation, but I wasn’t going to give one.
“After that night,” he said finally, “I didn’t think I could be more ashamed of you . . . but I was wrong.”
It was like a kick to the chest. My pulse raced and blood rushed loudly through my head, but I didn’t show him the impact of his words. I pretended they bounced harmlessly off me.
“Get your things,” he snarled. “I’m taking you home, and the first thing we’re going to do is pull you from school.”
“No.”
My dad had already begun to stand and froze halfway out of the booth. “No?” he repeated with disbelief.
“I’m twenty-three years old. I don’t have to do what you tell me.”
He sat back down and stared at me like I’d just spat in his face. “You will if you want to have a roof over your head.”
Up until today, I could have told him I already had a place to live, but thanks to Riley, things were less stable now. But still . . .
“What’s the point?” I sighed. “If I come home, it’s just going to be more of the same, where you’re waiting around for me to disappoint you again. I’m never going to be good enough.” The last three years, I’d done everything to get back in their good graces, and it hadn’t made one iota of a difference. “I tried so fucking hard, and for what? God, I wish I’d stopped trying a long time ago.”
He recoiled, unsure of how to respond, but he didn’t deny it. He let the statement lie between us that I wasn’t good enough, and every second it remained unchallenged, the chasm between us grew larger.
Finally, his face hardened. “This is it, Colin.” He sounded grave. “You’ve pushed us to our breaking point. Come home now, or . . . I don’t think you’ll be allowed to come home again.”
We were really doing this, then. If I didn’t accept their complete control, they’d cut me from their lives.
As I stared at him, I felt nothing but emptiness.
I didn’t have much money, and things were falling apart, so I should have been scared shitless—but I wasn’t. Mads had done this. She’d walked away from her parents and survived without their help.
She could show me how to do it.
I swallowed hard, hooked my hand through a strap to my backpack, and pulled it on. “Okay,” I said. “Tell Mom I said goodbye.”
Maybe he’d been bluffing, because his mouth dropped open, but I didn’t let it stop me. I had to get out of here. I slid out of my seat, not even giving him a final look before I turned and walked out of the restaurant and out of my parents’ lives.
TWENTY-FOUR
Colin
Before I went to the Woodsons’ house, I rode my bike to my old frat, pounded on the door, and scared the crap out of the guy who answered it when I demanded to talk to Riley.
Except I was told he wasn’t there, and since his car wasn’t in the back parking lot, I climbed back on my bike, rode home, and went straight to Mads’ room. I found her sitting on her bed, her chin resting on her knees as she peered at the screen of her phone like it was a ticking time bomb.
She looked exactly like I felt. Exposed. Raw. Drained.
But when she saw me, her expression lifted. She dropped her phone and bounded off the bed straight into my arms.
“Hey,” she said, greedy to have her arms around me.
It made my heart flip upside down. I was just as glad to see her as she was me and squeezed her tightly. “My parents saw the post.”
I felt the jolt go through her body, and concern flooded her eyes as she stared up at me.
“It’s okay,” I said.
“It is?” She couldn’t have looked more dubious if she’d tried.
“I mean, no, it’s not. My dad told me to come home with right then, or don’t come home at all.” I raked a hand through my hair before returning it to rest on the small of her back. “But I’m okay.”
“I’m so sorry, Colin.”
“Is it weird that part of me is—I don’t know—relieved? At least it’s done and out there. No more lying or hiding.”