“I want everyone to travel in pairs to be ready for the Eaters,” Ronan says, looking at each member of the club and then staring at me. He and Dad both act like I’m some kind of rebel, that I’m here to only break the rules. I did one thing that they were opposed to and they refuse to let me live it down.
When I tear my gaze from Ronan, it’s instantly drawn to Teddy, the only Kodiak shifter in the club and a ranking member as treasurer. He’s watching me with a gaze meant for a traitor. I clench my fists at my sides and my jaw tightens. I’d fight Teddy again, but I know Deator won’t stand for it.
But it’s not like I have a lot to lose. I’ve already lost as much respect as a patch member can without being cut from the club. All that’s left for me is to lose my patch and to be booted out on my ass. Lately, I’ve wondered how much I really want to be a part of the club. One mistake in the last five years and they’re still holding it over my head. How the fuck am I supposed to prove my loyalty? Hadn’t I stayed even though I lost my rank? Hadn’t I fought shoulder to shoulder with the rest of the New Law? But it wasn’t enough. It never will be. My dad and brother are never going to forget what I did.
When they finally adjourn, I get up to leave, but Ronan calls me over. My whole body tightens as I walk over to him, knowing what I’m about to deal with. I know what he’s going to say before he says it. His pep talk is always the same, even though I have to admit, since he’s gotten with Bree, he seems to have relaxed a little.
“You need to be a leader, Klaus. Show these men that you’re loyal, that your heart is in this club,” he starts, and I barely contain myself from arguing with him.
What does he think I’ve been doing? I’m loyal to my brother, the club, to everything that is New Law. I fought in battle to save his ol’ lady and most recently to protect Penny for Bruin. I’ve proven my loyalty. I’ve proven that no matter how shitty my father treats me, I’m still here for the club.
As he’s talking, Teddy walks by us and I swear the man growls at me. I stare him down, rubbing my fists down my legs, just itching for a fight.
Ronan jerks my shoulders and forces me to look at him. “Keep it together,” he tells me, knowing that a fight from the men within the club would only lower our chances against the Eaters. We can’t have inner turmoil. Not now.
I jerk from Ronan’s hands and ask him quietly, my voice filled with emotion just thinking of that night so many years ago, “Tell me the truth, Ronan. How did it feel standing aside when Teddy ordered you to five years ago? It was wrong and you know it.”
Ronan opens his mouth to argue, but then closes it. I look into his eyes and I see it there. Regret. He knew what he did was wrong. But the words that come out of his mouth are different. “I was right to stand with my club. She was an outsider, Klaus.”
Even hearing him say it makes me sick to my stomach. “She was sixteen. Sixteen, Ronan.”
His forehead creases and I know I hit a nerve, but he still doesn’t want to admit it, that what I did was the right thing. “Yes, and her own club wouldn’t stick their neck out for her. That has to tell you something.”
I crowd Ronan then. Right up against his chest. He may be bigger than me, but that doesn’t stop me. “Yeah, it tells me they were pussies.”
Even as I say the words, I wait for Ronan to attack. I’ve seen other men say less things to him and him pummel them to the ground. But Ronan doesn’t say a thing. He takes a deep breath and steps back from me. He looks like a man that has a war raging inside of him, but he doesn’t retaliate. He looks at me with something sort of guilt on his face and then he turns and walks away.
When I walk out into the bar area, everyone is there and having a good time. It’s almost like the meeting never happened. Everyone was so tense and riled up before, and now they’re having a good time, throwing drinks back and being relaxed. All I can do is hope that the Eaters don’t have eyes on us now, with our defenses down. Nothing good could come of that.
Not in the mood to party, I almost walk toward the door. Until I see Teddy eyeing me, watching my every move. He looks almost too happy that I’m about to leave, so I decide to hang around a little bit longer and see if I can get the old Kodiak to come at me. The fight we started so long ago needs to be finished.