“Oh Percy, Percy, my dear boy…” Henrietta patted his arm as though he were still a small child. “He also said that we should not get our hopes up on that account,” she reminded him.
Percy’s face fell, and Diana took her brother’s hand in her own.
“It’s a strange illness, and Dr. Hughs has admitted that he isn’t familiar with its progress or symptoms. It may be that angina was the wrong diagnosis last year and something more dangerous has settled in his system. I believe we should be prepared for the worst and help your mother to bear it as best she can,” their aunt continued.
Percy turned slightly grey at her words, and Diana thought that he might cry again. She knew that she would have to be brave for both of them.
“We will do everything we can to support Mother and Father,” she told her aunt. “Won’t we Percy?”
He nodded silently.
“Good boy. I knew you could be counted on. Believe me, I will do everything in my power to help you both,” Lady Birks said earnestly, the heavy sympathy in her tone and expression again overflowing until it seemed to weigh down Diana and Percy even more than their aunt.
“Now, I wanted to talk to you about the last conversation I had with your father before he fell ill. We had reached an agreement on a very important matter, and I was looking forward to telling you in more joyful circumstances. Perhaps you can guess what it is, Diana?”
Henrietta’s smile made Diana feel queasy with its curdled mixture of happiness and commiseration. She shook her head dumbly. She could not imagine anything that could make her or Percy feel joyful beyond their father’s recovery, in which their aunt clearly had little faith.
“Your cousin Andrew has been traveling back from India and is due in London next month to start work at his firm’s London offices. He is well established in the company and will soon join its most senior ranks. It is therefore high time that he marries. Now that you are eighteen and he is so well-placed, we decided that there was no reason to wait any longer.”
“Married!?” Diana gasped, feeling as though the bottom had fallen out of her stomach. She quickly masked her expression as much as she could to spare the feelings of her aunt, who was clearly so pleased with the idea, and Percy, who looked more lost than ever.
Diana could not comprehend how anyone could be thinking about marriage at a time like this. Perhaps she had somehow misunderstood what her aunt was saying.
“But I’m due to have my Season in London,” she heard herself saying. “Mother has been preparing me for presentation at court. All my dresses have been ordered.”
Diana knew how childish her words sounded as soon as she uttered them. Lady Birks did, indeed, reply to her with the same adult condescension as when she had spoken to Percy a few minutes earlier.
“My dear girl, you will still be going to London but as the wife of a man of consequence rather than a foolish young débutante. Won’t that be even better? Your new clothes will make a fine trousseau.”
“Everything was already arranged,” Diana protested weakly, now drowning in her aunt’s enthusiasm and conviction. “We’ve already accepted the invitations for the major balls and events. There’s so much on the calendar… I don’t know how we would undo it all.”
“Darling Diana, you must not worry your pretty head over these little details. I can deal with all the letters that must be written and the explanations we must give to your hostesses. In fact, I’ve already agreed on this with your mother. The poor woman is in no condition to handle such correspondence herself at present.”
Now Diana thought she might weep at the thought of those letters cancelling all the balls, picnics, and theatre outings she had been anticipating with so much pleasure. At the same time, she felt ashamed that she could still care about such gaiety while her father lay so ill nearby. She bit her lip, not trusting herself to speak again.
“There, my dear,” Lady Birks said, patting her arm gently. “I’m sure that the dinners and parties you’ll be hosting for Andrew’s friends and contacts will keep you even busier than the Season’s frivolous balls and dancing. As will the arrival of Andrew’s heir, in due course. I imagine he’ll want to continue the family line as soon as possible.”
Diana flushed scarlet and gripped the table as a surge of horror ran through her.
“Oh, I cannot!” she blurted out, unable to control her reaction. She had never actually imagined the idea of being pregnant or giving birth before. For some reason, the idea of carrying Andrew’s child was particularly repulsive to her. Even the thought of him touching her or kissing her was sickening. “Percy, I cannot!”
Turning to her brother for support, she saw only his confusion and unhappiness. Their aunt had turned to him at the same time, and with sympathy and good sense, she started stating all the reasons why a speedy marriage would benefit the family.
“… So, you must see, Percy, as your father's proxy in such matters now, that this would be the best thing for everyone, including Diana. Perhaps you imagine your sister too young, but you must trust my experience in this. I have seen many very happy brides Diana’s age and even younger.”
Percy kept trying to interrupt and asked for time to think, but as had happened to Diana at the dinner table, his aunt talked straight across him. Diana tried to signal her distress to him with her eyes, but Lady Birks held him firm with the stream of her arguments.
“… Think of the joy it could bring to your mother in her time of distress, to see Diana so well settled with her husband. A first grandchild in her arms before the end of the year might help her bear even the hardest of sorrows. And all in accordance with Lord Templeton’s express wishes…”
“She’s right, Diana,” her brother said faintly, at last. “This could be our father’s last request. We have to respect it.”
Feeling utterly lost and betrayed, Diana burst into a flood of tears and ran from the study to her bedroom. Her whole life had been rendered hopeless, and there seemed to be no one she could turn to without causing pain through her own selfishness, immaturity, and superficial desires.
Why could she not feel as happy as her aunt evidently expected?
She cried herself to sleep on her bed without undressing.
* * *