“What movie?” I ask, trying to ignore the warmth and longing that go through me, making their way from my heart to my lady bits.
“We’ll see what’s on.”
We take a few minutes to make popcorn and get the dogs settled down, then sit together on his leather couch. Noah flips through movie options, and settles forThe Avengers.
“I love this one,” I say and bend my knees, tucking my feet under myself. It’s chilly in here and there are no blankets on the couch, like a typical bachelor pad.
“Really? I thought you only liked fru-fru Disney shit.”
“Disney isn’t shit, and I do like that, but I like other stuff too. Superheroes or princesses, they’re all about good overcoming evil, and most end happily. That’s what I like. I’m a sucker for a happily ever after.”
He turns to me, and when our eyes meet, that same feeling goes through me. Like we’re on the same wavelength. Like we’re connected on an emotional level. He holds my gaze, and I’m moving closer on my own accord. He reaches out and pushes my hair back. I shiver.
“Cold?”
“A little,” I say, feeling breathless.
“Hang on,” he says and gets up, returning with a blanket. He pulls me into his lap, encircling in his arms. I rest my head against his firm chest and he kisses my forehead.
I let out a breath and close my eyes. Noah runs his fingers up and down my arm. My heart thumps in my chest yet at the same time I’m perfectly content.
“Are you tired?” Noah asks me.
“I’m okay. But if you keep doing that, I’ll fall asleep. It feels good.”
He tips his head down and nuzzles my neck. “I can do something that feels better.”
His lips meet my skin, sending a jolt through me. He kisses my neck and it’s everything a kiss should be. Gentle. Wet. Warm. I want his mouth all over me.
Now.
“Noah,” I groan. “We … we shouldn’t.” He doesn’t stop kissing my throat. “Plus I’ve been super constipated and bloated the last few days.”
He pulls away, raising an eyebrow. “I could have lived my whole life without knowing that.”
I smile and turn around to look at him. “It’s a symptom of carrying our baby. You get to know all the nitty-gritties I’m experiencing.”
“Our baby,” he says softly. “Sorry she’s making you feel like shit.”
“You don’t know it’s a girl. And it’s okay. I haven’t felt that bad, really.” I take a deep breath. “I kinda killed the mood, didn’t I?”
“Just a bit. But I’ll still have sex with you if you want.”
I shake my head, laughing. “Oh, thanks. I want to,” I add, afraid Noah is going to take my abstinence personally. “I just…”
“What are you afraid of?” he asks. “You’re obviously not a virgin.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. “I don’t really know. I’m so confused and emotional and … and scared. I’m really scared.”
He sits up and takes my hands in his, clear blue eyes locking with mine. “It scares me too, Lauren. But know I’m here for you—both of you.” He leans in and gives me a quick kiss. “And I’m not saying this to get in your pants, but how is not sleeping together going to make it any less scary?”
I shake my head. “Sex is complicated.”
Noah’s eyebrows go up. “Who have you been having sex with? It’s not that complicated.”
“You know what I mean. And…” I can’t say it, because saying it means I have to fully admit it to myself. As perfect as Noah has been over the last month, I’m terrified he’s going to revert back to old ways, decide this baby-daddy thing isn’t for him and leave me not just alone but broken hearted.
Because if he decided to walk away, it would break my heart. Hearts can only get broken when love is involved. I’m not in love with Noah, yet. But I’m starting to fall.