“That’s what I thought. Just checking.” My eyes close and I rest my head against hers. “Have you told anyone else?”
“No. I want to wait until the first trimester is over. Which is only about a month away now.”
“Fuck, that sounds scary. I thought we had more time to figure this parent shit out.”
She chuckles. “I don’t know if I ever will.”
“You’ll be a good mom.”
“I hope so.”
She doesn’t return it with a “you’ll be a good dad.” Because she doesn’t know. I want to be angry with her, but I share her doubt.
“There’s a lot I don’t know,” she says.
“I don’t think anyone is fully ready. We’ll get it. Together.”
She holds me tighter. “Together. I like that.”
Oh, Lauren … if only you knew how much I’ve wanted to be together, what I would have given to make you mine.
* * *
My arms are still around Lauren when I wake up. Her dogs have joined us in bed, and we’re all crammed together like one big happy family. I’m uncomfortable, and the arm Lauren is laying on is all pins and needles, but I don’t dare move.
I kind of love this.
“Morning,” I say to Lauren when she opens her eyes. Her hair is a mess and there are pillow crease along her cheek. I reach over and brush her hair out of her face.
“Morning,” she says back and runs her hand up my arm. “This is a different kind of waking up together.”
“Very different. Is that bad?”
She smiles. “Not at all.”
I kiss her forehead. “Good.”
We stay wrapped up together for a few more minutes, then Lauren gets up to use the bathroom. After, she lets the dogs out and offers to make breakfast. I go into the kitchen with her, and together we make pancakes and eggs.
“This is new to you too, isn’t it?” she asks when we sit at the table.
“Eating breakfast with someone? Yeah, it is. But it’s nice. I would say I should have done this years ago, but I probably wouldn’t have had it with you.”
She smiles and a bit of color rushes to her cheeks. “Are you busy today?”
I shake my head. “I usually go to the gym with Colin in the morning on the weekend, but I’ve been avoiding him.”
“He won’t stay mad at you forever.”
“We’ll see. Are you busy the rest of today?”
“No.”
“Do you want to do something together?”
Her smile returns. “I would like that. Any ideas?”
“I don’t care as long as it’s with you.”