Because I don’t care.
So why do I have this weird yearning for this girl to like me? And why am I worried I’m not good enough for this stranger. This attractive stranger.
She pulls a notebook from her bag and flips through the pages. Doing my best to not be obvious, I look over her shoulder and read her notes. She’s written out what she’s going to say to Mrs. Jefferson, like a script. It’s cute, in a total OCD way.
“What side of the fence do you fall on?” I ask her. “Do you want to dissect the cat or no?”
She wrinkles her nose, distaste for cutting into a dead animal obvious. “I want to be a vet, so I should do it. Though at the same time, I’d rather wait until vet school. I don’t see how this will benefit me now.”
“Good idea. And being a vet would be cool.” I’m internally wincing. Could I be more lame?
“I think so. Half the time I like animals more than people.”
I chuckle. “I agree with you there. Animals don’t let you down.”
“Exactly!” she exclaims and turns toward me. Her hand lands on the armrest of the chair, fingers brushing my skin. It’s the most innocent gesture, one she didn’t even mean, yet leaves me craving her touch. “They don’t judge you either.”
“That’s always a plus.”
“I hate being judged,” she says quietly. “And I try not to judge others.” Color rushes to her cheeks and she looks away, head dropping and a shock of that gorgeous hair falling over her face. “I think if we were more like dogs the world would be a better place.”
I refrain from a joke about sniffing asses and agree. “I like dogs. Never had one, but they’re cool.” And I’m wincing at myself again. Fuck. I just want this girl to like me.
“That’s kind of sad,” she tells me. “We have a dog. And two cats.”
“Lucky.” Suddenly I want to go get a dog just to have a reason to invite this girl over.
Mrs. Jefferson emerges from her office. “Oh, Lauren, you’re early.”
Lauren.
Right now, that’s the best name in the entire world.Lauren. I repeat it in my head a few more times.
“It seems my prior meeting isn’t going to happen, so come on in,” Mrs. Jefferson says. “You’re not off the hook yet, mister,” she tells me. “Stay put, Noah.”
I roll my eyes and lean back again, watching Lauren get up. She’s wearing a pink and white dress, nothing out of the ordinary but nothing tight and revealing like so many of the other chicks in this school do. I admire her full ass as she walks into Mrs. Jefferson’s office, wondering how I’ve never seen her before. She has to be a freshman. I’ve never seen this girl before in my sophomore class. Maybe? She didn’t look that much younger than me.
It shouldn’t matter, and she probably has a boyfriend anyway. For now. Someday, she’ll be mine.
Someday Lauren will love me.
* * *
“Dude, what the hell is wrong with you today?” Colin tosses the football into the air and catches it.
“Nothing,” I retort and drain my bottle of water. The sun is beating down on us during football practice today. It’s late in the fall and we got hit with a week of unusually warm weather.
“You’re a fucking liar, but I don’t care as long as you get it together by the game tomorrow.”
I roll my eyes and make up an excuse of fucking some college girl at a party last night for being distracted today. Colin doesn’t press even though he knows it’s another lie.
I’m not one to give a damn about labels, but I consider Colin my best friend. We got a lot in common and just get along great. I can’t bullshit him, and he knows I wasn’t at a party last night. Yet he doesn’t push the issue. He knows when to stop and give me space. I respect the hell out of him for that.
The real reason for my distraction is Lauren, the girl from the principal’s office protesting about dead cats. I haven’t seen her since—and I looked.
But she’s here today.
Sitting in the bleachers, at the top and by herself, away from the small crowd of girls who always watch us practice. Lauren hasn’t looked away from the book she’s reading. Not once.