“She’s going to beatyourass, once you push that baby out, that is.”
I take a sharp breath in but get no air. I take another, and another.
“Lauren, calm down!” Katie says. “Do not hyperventilate on me.”
“I … I … can’t.” My hands are trembling. I haven’t thought about pushing or labor or anything either. “I don’t know what to do,” I say and start crying. Katie’s arms go around me.
“It’s okay, Lauren. We’ll figure this out. I won’t say anything to anyone until you’re ready.”
I nod, unable to say anything while sobbing into her shoulder. She rubs my back for a minute then moves away. “Dry your eyes. Crying doesn’t solve anything, and I’m only allowing this because you’re probably hormonal and shit.”
“Probably,” I hiccup. “At least now I know why I’ve been so tired.” I wipe away tears, smearing mascara down my face. I don’t care. “What am I going to do, Katie?”
“Nothing I can say will make you feel better,” she replies slowly. “But we’ll figure this out, and you know I’m here.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. This is what sisters are for. That and it automatically gives me ‘best aunt’ status.”
Aunts. Babies. It’s all too much. “I wish I could drink right now.”
Katie laughs. “Hell, I think I need a drink. I can only imagine what you’re feeling.” She puts her arm around me. “For now, take a deep breath. I think no matter what, no matter who you’re with or where you are in life, expecting a baby causes everyone to freak out on some level.”
“I’m sure. So where do I go from here?”
Katie takes a breath. “You’ve already decided to keep the baby, so … in a perfect world, what happens next?”
I raise an eyebrow. “In a perfect world this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Well, it did,” she says pointedly. “But from here. What would happen next?”
I rub my eyes, feeling a headache coming on. “By some miracle, Noah and I would end up together. I want this child to have a momanda dad. But that’s not—”
“Stop,” Katie says gently. “We’ve known Noah for a long time, but do you reallyknowhim?”
I start to move my head up and down then stop. “Not on a personal level. But I know him enough to know having a baby and getting married is the last thing he wants.”
Katie pushes her brunette hair back. It’s the same shade as mine, only she’s added blue and purple highlights. “Sometimes things like this change people. Remember my friend Erica?”
“The drunk? Yeah, what about her?”
“She got knocked up two years ago. She’s in nursing school now, and doesn’t party anymore. From the moment she peed on that stick and found out she was pregnant, she turned her life around. So it is possible. And you’ll never know if you don’t tell Noah and give him a chance. And if anything else, you will find out if you need to cross that hope off your list and move on. Plus figure out child support and custody and all that other legal shit I know nothing about.”
“Can I just call him? Or text. Texting is better.”
“Lauren,” Katie starts. “I know you prefer to not talk to or see people when you can help it, but this needs to be said in person. Call him, say you need to talk, and go somewhere private, like have him come back here. And if you want me to be there, I can be.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You just want to see how he reacts to this, don’t you?”
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But really, I want to support you. I don’t get to be the older sister that often, since you’re the responsible one. I mean, how many times in high school did you help me not get caught drinking, or sneaking out, or sneaking a boy in? You’re my sister, and I love you. And regardless of who the father is, that baby is my niece or nephew.Weare family.”
“I love you,” I say and rest my head on her shoulder.
“Ditto, sis.” She gives me one more hug. “Let me do some digging and make some calls and I can get Noah’s number for you.”
“Do I have to tell him?”
She moves her head up and down. “If there is a chance he steps up, then yes.”