“It’s time for me to go back upstairs,” she said. “I haven’t been sleeping well lately, and I must go to bed.”
He saw at once that she was lying. Whatever the reason she said she had come down here to see him, it wasn’t the one she had given him. He stood up and looked down at her with an inquiring gaze.
“Why did you really come here, Grace? Have you told me the truth?”
Grace felt a surge of anger wash over her. She could easily have slapped his face again, and given him another bruise to add to the first one. “It doesn’t matter!” she snapped. “Why should it? I am not your responsibility, since you are never going to be my husband!”
Fergus looked and felt ashamed. He had not stopped feeling guilty that he had let her down, even though he had had no other choice. It was for her own good, and that of both their families, that she should marry his brother, but he had not fathomed how much it would hurt them both. Then he thought a little more. Was it for her good? Was it for his good? Or was it perhaps for Robert’s good, because he certainly seemed to be getting the biggest share of all the benefits?
He had acquired a castle and an estate when his father died, and now he was within a hair’s breadth of marrying a beautiful woman—Fergus’s woman.
Then Grace spoke again. “I don’t know why I came here, Fergus,” she confessed. “All I know is that I had to see you. You are all I have wanted since I was sixteen years old, and letting go of you has been very hard for me, so please forgive me if I am upset sometimes. I am going to bed now. Goodnight.” She turned away and raised a hand to open the door, but Fergus was at her side in a flash, her wrist in his hand.
“Don’t go, Grace,” he whispered. “I need you.”
His deep blue eyes blazed into hers, and for a fleeting moment, Grace was frightened, but then she realized that the passion in his eyes was not anger, but desire. When he wrapped her in his arms, then tightened them around her, she felt a sense of relief, of rightness. She knew before he said it, that this was where she was meant to be.
“This is where you belong, do you hear me?” He felt as if his whole body was on fire as he held her. She had to know how much she meant to him. He had to show her. So he did.
16
Fergus swooped down on Grace’s lips, not gently, but so firmly that she had to tilt her head back, as he cupped his hand around the back of her head to support her neck and ravaged her mouth with his. In his dreams he had kissed her many times, and he had been very gentle with her, but he would not, indeed hecouldnot, be gentle now. He thrust his hips forward against her, his arousal evident, letting her feel how much she was affecting him.
At the first touch of his lips, Grace gave a little startled whimper, but she was happy to submit to the less-than-gentle treatment he was giving her; she was not a frightened girl anymore. She knew what she wanted. She wantedhim.
When Grace felt Fergus’s tongue invade her mouth she responded at once, stroking her own against his. She heard him growl deep in his throat, and for a moment, she thought that he might pull away from her, but instead, he drew her even more tightly towards him.
She could hardly breathe, and for a moment she began to panic, but he let her go, and gently guided her to lie down. He did not wait for an answer, but lifted her gently into his arms and laid her on the seat. Then he squeezed onto it beside her, and she chuckled. “You are going to fall off,” she warned.
“Then I’ll take you with me,” he answered. “You can lie on top of me, and I can do this—” Fergus kissed her lips softly, then gently nibbled her earlobe and peppered the side of her neck with tiny, soft kisses before he ventured downward into the valley between her breasts, which he plundered with the tip of his tongue.
Grace arched her body off the cushions and groaned at the heady pleasure he was giving her. My god, it was glorious! She felt herself moisten in the secret place between her legs as she felt the long, hard ridge of his arousal against her belly, and as he rubbed his hips against her, something strange, but wonderful began to happen. She felt a sweet, throbbing ache between her legs, and a desire for something she could not name. All she knew was that only Fergus could give it to her.
Fergus, too, was in such a state of arousal that he could hardly think properly. All that was going through his mind was how good Grace felt against him, and how wonderful she smelled. Every one of his senses was engaged; her moans, the look on her face, the scent of her body, and the taste of her kisses drove him on, as he slowly inched up her skirt with his fingers. He did not stop until it was bunched at the top of her thighs, and she made no resistance. He was gloriously, wildly aroused as his fingers plunged into her very center, and he followed with his lips and tongue while teasing her hard clitoris with his thumb and forefinger.
Grace wondered if she had died and gone to heaven; this was not at all what she had expected, but although it was different from her expectations, it was infinitely more exciting. She had never known such pleasure, and as his fingers and lips teased her, she almost felt as though she might die of it. She plunged her fingers into the thick mass of his dark hair and cried out.
Abruptly, the pleasure stopped, and Grace moaned with disappointment as she felt Fergus move away from her, standing up and then taking a few steps across the room as if he wanted to put some distance between them. She felt all the wonderful sensations he had aroused subside and then fade away entirely, as he stopped and stood with his back to her, breathing heavily.
Rejection and hurt flooded her. Fergus had aroused her to the point where she would have given herself fully to him without another thought, but now, he had let her come crashing down to earth. “Why did you stop?” she asked in a small, feeble voice.
Fergus turned to her, running his hands back through his hair in a gesture of agitation. Her cry of passion had awakened him to the reality of what he was doing to a woman who was not promised to him. “Because you are not mine, Grace. You never will be,” he said miserably. “All these years I have waited for you, and at the last minute, you were torn away from me. Whether we like it or not, that is the way it is. I cannot take your maidenhead away from you, or there will be hell to pay, for you as well as me.”
Grace frowned, bewildered. “But it is mine to give,” she told him. “And I would much rather give it to you than to Robert.” She reached up and cupped his face in her hands. “I love you, Fergus. I think I always have, from the day I met you, and you gave me that primrose. After my second visit, I couldn’t sleep for a week thinking about our kiss. I love you, and I will never stop loving you, so please take what I am giving you freely.”
He groaned and turned away, unable to bear the sight of what he wanted so badly but could not have. “No, Grace.” His voice was infinitely sad. “Neither of us has the freedom to do what we want anymore. We are prisoners of our circumstances. I love you too—you will never know how much—but you are to marry my brother. I cannot change that without antagonizing Robert even more, and then he would take his wrath out on both of us, and probably others too. Many people depend on him.”
Fergus flopped down onto his seat again and sat with his elbows on his knees, his face buried in his hands. “I could stand the thought of parting with you, Grace, if I thought that Robert would look after you and care for you. I wouldn't like it, but I think I could bear it. I thought I knew my brother well, but it seems I was wrong. He is not the man I thought he was, and I’m no longer sure if he will treat you as well as you deserve.
Robert used to be a reasonably kind, happy person, but since he broke up with Ailsa, the girl he was promised to, he has become cruel. I always knew he had ambitions to be some kind of power in this area, but I thought he could do it through marriage and diplomacy. Now I can see that he is planning to do it by force.
He has no real training in fighting at all because he never wanted to learn, besides the swordplay he used to antagonize me. He cannot even fire an arrow straight, and I have a feeling that those swords we were using in the mock battle the other day were tampered with. They were supposed to be blunt, but the one that he wounded me with had definitely been sharpened, and the handle of my sword had been oiled. I only managed to hold onto it once my palm was covered in dirt. When I spoke to Robert about it, he said he would look into it, but I have heard nothing since.”
“Did you manage to look at the swords?” Grace asked curiously.
“Nay,” Fergus replied, shaking his head. “When I looked for them after the duel, they had disappeared, and I haven’t seen them since.”
Grace thumped her fists on her thighs. She was fuming. “I will not marry him!” she growled. “He will have to drag me into the church by my hair to make me go in, and then everyone will see just how much I hate him.” Up until that moment, Grace had not really put her feelings for Robert into words, but as she said the word ‘hate’ she realized that she meant it. She despised him, and the thought of spending her life with him made her feel sick.