Grace hesitated for a moment.
“It is my duty, nothing more, nothing less. It was a choice that was made for me, and I have to obey the wishes of my family and assume that they know best. I have to admit that it is not the choice I would have made for myself, but there is nothing I can do about it now.” She looked down at her hands, which she was twisting nervously in her lap. “I am duty-bound to obey the wishes of my family and my clan. People are depending on me.”
Fergus sighed irritably. “That is not what I asked, Grace,” he replied. “Do you like him?”
‘No,’she thought.‘He is a pompous, arrogant bore.’“It doesn’t matter what I think, Fergus,” she said aloud. “My future is decided, and I am obliged to comply. There is nothing more to discuss.”
“Do you like him?” Fergus persisted. He looked annoyed.
“Why do you need to know?” Grace asked. She knew she was being evasive, but she could not tell him the truth without hurting him more. Grace knew how he felt now, and to admit that happiness in the marriage between Robert and her was an impossibility would simply break his heart if it was not shattered already. Hers was.
“I suppose -” he hesitated briefly. “I suppose I want to know if you will be happy.”
“I will make every effort to be,” she answered. “It was a shock to learn that I was going to marry Robert and not you, but I’m resigned to it now, and I will try my best to be a good wife to him. I’m sure he will be good to me.”
“He will be generous,” Fergus conceded. “If I know one thing about my brother, it’s that he is not stingy. You will want for nothing, and he will give you any material thing you want. You will live in luxury.”
“I don’t care about luxury,” Grace said, sighing. “I want food, shelter, and clothes on my back. That is all I need.”
“Love?” he asked pointedly. “Surely you want that?”
Grace turned to him angrily. “That’s not needed for a happy marriage. All we need to do is get along well, and I am sure we will.” Even to her own ears, Grace did not sound convincing.
Fergus raised his eyebrows, looking skeptical. They gazed at each other for what seemed like hours, their eyes fixed on each other, lost in their own world.
Fergus was beginning to lean towards Grace unconsciously, until their faces were only inches apart, and blue eyes gazed into hazel.‘God, she’s beautiful,’he thought. She was wearing some other perfume too, something light and fragrant with a hint of citrus, but he felt himself begin to harden as he caught the natural musk of her body in his nostrils.
Grace’s body had also started to react to him. She felt wet and warm in her secret place, and as she watched Fergus’s eyes darken with desire, she knew that hers looked the same. What was he doing to her?
‘What the hell am I doing?’Fergus thought suddenly. If he was caught kissing Grace, there would be hell to pay, and he wanted no more animosity between him and his brother; things were bad enough as it was. He jerked back, and saw Grace’s eyes widen in surprise.
Grace flushed with embarrassment, thinking what a fool she had made of herself, and what the consequences would have been if she and Fergus were caught in such a compromising position. Anyone could have seen them!
“I’m sorry,” Fergus said, ashamed of himself. He stood up and looked down at her as if he could not drag his eyes away, then he reached into his pouch and pulled out a small white sprig of flowers. “I always think of you when I see these,” he said softly.
As he handed the primrose to her, their fingers touched, and Grace felt a tingle shivering up her arm. “Thank you, Fergus,” she murmured. “It’s lovely,”
Fergus strode away. He felt as though he was leaving his life behind him; he might as well just marry anyone now, because no one compared to Grace, or ever would. She was one of a kind; generous, compassionate, with a solid sense of responsibility and no guile. As well as that, she was beautiful, and although he felt ashamed of himself for what he saw as shallowness, he knew that it mattered to him.
Grace smelled the flower as she watched Fergus walk away. It had no perfume, but a fresh, clean smell that made her feel good as she breathed it in. As she watched Fergus’s back, she saw that he was exquisitely male, with shoulders broad, but not too broad, firm rounded buttocks, and long legs. She squirmed uncomfortably on the seat; her arousal was making her deeply uncomfortable.
She was suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of loss that almost crushed her. She would see Fergus every day, but she would be unable to touch or even show him in some subtle way that she loved him. She knew that Robert would be jealous and looking for any mistake on her part, and she did not want to live on tenterhooks for the rest of her life. There had to be a way out of this marriage!
* * *
Grace was still wallowing in misery as she went to her chamber to dress for dinner. Crissy had put out a selection of dresses and laid them on her bed, but Grace was not interested in any of them. “Pick one for me, please, Crissy,” she said listlessly.
Crissy picked out a rose pink satin dress with a modest round neck and long sleeves, then brushed Grace’s hair until it shone, before tying it into a neat knot behind her neck. All the while she had been attending to Grace, she had not said a word, but as soon as she was standing in front of her fully dressed, Crissy took her by the upper arms and spoke sternly.
“Now, Grace, tell me what has happened tae give ye such a long face.” Crissy folded her arms and looked her squarely in the eye. “You havenae smiled since ye came inside. Is it Robert? Has he upset ye?”
Grace nodded. “Aye, but not only him, Crissy.” She sighed. “Fergus too. He wanted to know how I felt about marrying Robert.”
“What did ye say, hen?” Crissy took her hands, concerned.
“I told him I am only doing what I’ve been told to do,” she replied. “I don’t have a say in the matter of who I marry. I just wanted him to go away, Crissy. Every time I see him I feel worse.”
“He’s askin’ because he loves ye, hen.” Crissy sighed. “You know that I will be goin’ back home in a wee while, an’ I dinnae want tae be worryin’ about ye.”