“Two.”
Sure enough, as soon as that word was out of his mouth, she was flying toward him.
“Daddy, no! Don’t count to three.” She stopped in front of him.
“I wouldn’t need to if my naughty girl did as she was told.”
“But I didn’t want to come over here.”
“Why not?” he asked.
“Because you’re gonna spank me!”
“And why am I going to spank you, baby girl?”
“Because you’re a mean old pimplebutt?” she guessed.
His gaze narrowed. “What did you just say?”
“Daddy, I really think we should get your hearing tested. You say that a lot.”
“Because you say things that I find unbelievable a lot. And I really think that you need to get over my lap, so I can spank your naughty butt until it’s red.”
“I don’t think we need to do that.” She put her hands behind her butt to protect it.
“What did you call yourself just before?” he asked.
Uh-oh.
“Umm, well, I’m not sure I remember . . .”
“Try again.”
“I said I was dumb,” she whispered miserably.
“That’s what I thought you said. And why’d you say that?”
“Because I can’t get the answers right on that stupid driver’s test.”
“So just because you’re struggling with something, you think it’s okay to call yourself names? If I was struggling with something, would you call me dumb?”
“What? No!” She gaped at him. “I’d never call you that, Daddy. You’re smart, not dumb at all.”
“So why is it okay to call yourself that?” he asked quietly. “Why is it all right to call yourself names?”
“I . . . I don’t know,” she whispered. “I guess it didn’t seem like that big of a deal. All my life, people have called me names. They’ve said I was stupid or annoying or a nuisance. I suppose I just believe it or don’t think about it as bad.”
“Well, I don’t want you to say that about yourself or think it,” he told her firmly. “Do you understand? Because you are smart and amazing. And you are not a nuisance or annoying.”
“I don’t want you to become sick of me,” she whispered. “Most people do.”
“That isn’t something you need to worry about. You can be yourself with me, Little Thief. I want all of you. You don’t need to hide.”
She flung herself at him, something she seemed to do a lot, and he caught her, lifting her onto his lap as she hugged him tight.
“You’re so clever, Daddy. You always know just what to say to make me feel better.”
“I’m glad,” he told her. “So you won’t be too upset with Daddy for punishing you, then.”