“Your brother was such a dick,” he replies, stepping forward as the line moves us closer to the counter. “Whenever I was at the back end, he’d make sure to fart almost constantly!” I look over at Jake and now he’s no longer studying the floor, he’s looking right at me and I feel the heat of his gaze everywhere.
“Oh, he’s so gross!” I cry, memories of Pete holding me down to tickle me until I almost peed my pants filling my brain.
“Was, Livi. Hewasso gross,” Jake mumbles sadly, his eyes avoiding me again, all the happiness disappearing in an instant as we both remember that he’s gone forever.
It feels like all the oxygen has been sucked out of the room, and I’m desperately searching for something to say when we reach the front of the line, and the barista asks me for my order. As I relay it to her for the second time in the last hour, remembering my dad’s extra shot, I watch Jake out of the corner of my eye. He shuffles uncomfortably from one foot to the other, looking about ready to flee the bakery at any moment.
Why the hell is he so jumpy?
When I’ve paid for the drinks, Jake and I move over to wait for them, and I turn to him, unable to hold my questions in any longer.
“So what the hell happened in Afghanistan?” I blurt a little too loudly, drawing more stares from nearby customers. “What really happened to my brother?”
The look on Jake’s face is a mixture of horror and fury at my questions, and before I can repeat them, he grabs the top of my arm and pulls me into the small corridor leading to the restrooms, pressing me against the wall.
“Keep your fucking voice down,” he growls, moving in so close that our noses are almost touching. Despite his aggressive posture, I can’t help thinking about the heat that’s emanating from his body or the way his skin smells like the ocean. “Your family got the official report on what happened during the operation, so drop it, will you?”
“No! I won’t drop it,” I hiss back, pressing back against him. He’s only a few inches taller than me so I won’t let him try to intimidate me. “The report we got from the Navy was bullshit. All it said was that Pete was killed by enemy fire. They wouldn’t tell us how, or where or if he was killed outright, or if he… if he…”
The hot tears fall down my cheeks as I think about my brother lying injured and dying in the cold, all alone.
“Not knowing has been far more painful than losing him and all I want is a little peace for me and my parents. Jake, you were there, so the least you can do is fill in a few of the blanks for us even if you can’t tell us everything. He was your best friend, for God’s sake!” I look at him through my tears, pleading with him, but all I get in return are the hard, cold eyes of a man I don’t even recognize.
“I’m sorry, Livi. I can’t.” And suddenly Jake pulls away from me and storms down the corridor, slamming open the back door so hard I’m afraid he’s ripped it off its hinges.
I allow my head to fall back against the cinder block wall, and I release a long shaky breath. Who the hell is that man? He certainly isn’t the kind, friendly, care-free boy who left town all those years ago. That man has a heart that’s ice-cold and full of pain and secrets.
As the barista calls my name, I wipe the tears from my cheeks, and I make a vow to myself: no matter what it takes, I’m going to thaw out his heart and find the answers I’m looking for. He owes me that much.
∞∞∞
My encounter with Jake plays on my mind for the rest of the day. I know that Mom and Dad notice the downturn in my mood.
“It was so nice to see Jake today,” my mother says while we pack up the stall after a successful day.
I make a noncommittal noise as I continue to load the last few picture frames into the crate.
“He looked a little thin, don’t you think?”
Jesus, my mom is like a dog with a bone sometimes. I shoot her an annoyed look and continue to pack, unable to stop my mind from wandering to the fact that Jake didn’t look thin to me at all. In fact, he was all lean muscle, bulging pecs and hard abs. I felt the hardness of his body when he had me pinned against the wall, and my panties are still uncomfortably damp from the encounter. So I really don’t want to talk to my mom about it.
“I invited him for dinner while he’s home on leave,”Mom says, dropping the final bomb.
“Oh,” I say as nonchalantly as I can, even though my heart just skipped a beat at this information. “Hey, why don’t you let me go over to his place and set it up?”
I fear my mom sees right through me and can tell I’m more than a little eager to see Jake again, but she just smiles brightly at my suggestion. “I think that would be perfect. Invite him for Sunday dinner. He knows what time we eat.”
As we finish loading up the truck, I feel the nerves start to wriggle deep in my belly at the thought of seeing Jake again. I do want answers about Pete’s last moments; but I also want to spend more time with Jake so I can find out why he’s so closed off and angry.
As I drive out of town, my cell phone rings, and I see my best friend Julia’s name flash up on my in-car display.
“So is it true?” she cries, the sound of barking in the background. Julia runs a doggy day care.
“Hello to you too. Is what true?” I ask innocently, knowing perfectly well that the Crescent Bay gossip machine has already done its work.
“C’mon. Jake Hartman! He’s back in town!” Julia shrieks, making me wince and the dogs in the background bark more loudly. “Three of my clients mentioned that you two were seen getting pretty cozy in Dreams.”
I can’t help the snort that escapes me. “We were hardly getting cozy. I asked him about Pete, and he got all growly and shut me down. He definitely knows more than he’s letting on, and I’m gonna make sure I get some answers before he leaves town again.”