“It does feel a bit like being kicked in the teeth.” I fold my arms over my chest. There’s no use lying to her. She knows I was a virgin, and despite my lack of abundant opportunities to give it up, she’s not stupid. I wouldn’t have had sex with him if my feelings weren’t involved.
The corners of her mouth twitch as if she’s fighting back a smile. She’s such a cunt. No. This is my own fault. I chose to see him in secret. I chose to believe it meant something to him. But I was a game he played to avoid boredom, and when push came to shove, he chose money over me.
I rub my forehead, no longer able to contain the stress and the overpowering hurt.
“Did you think you had what it took to keep a man like Alexander happy? He was screwing you because he knew you were easy.” My jaw flexes and she waves her hand toward me. “I don’t mean easy as in a slut. I mean easy as in you would fall for his lines because you were naïve and desperate for attention. You were easy to manipulate, and he had the thrill of sneaking around mixed in with the security of knowing you wouldn’t rat him out.”
She rolls her eyes. “I bet you didn’t even ask for your grades to be changed. If he would have asked me to give it up, I would have demanded an A and hush money from Jump Street.” She pats her purse. “Which is what I got in the end, and I didn’t even have to drop my panties. Yet.” She waggles her eyebrows. “But if his father changes his mind and demands he marry someone who can help their company grow, I’m all in for a bigger piece of the pie.”
She marches to the door. “I won’t breathe a word about any of it. I got what I wanted.” She disappears without a word. I don’t have to ask. I know what she wanted, and she did get it. Me hurt, tossed aside, and humiliated. As a bonus, she gets an A in calculus and a check for 700k.
Chapter Forty-Three
Daisy
The second Heather left, I begged off work. The grease scent and the overwhelming smell of sugar made me gag. What was once my happy place is now tinged with heartbreak.
I pull into my driveway and stare at the front door. Just days ago, Alexander swept me off my feet the second I opened the door. And the next day, kissed me good morning. And told me he loved me. Tears stream down my face. Heather is right. I’m gullible. I was an easy mark.
Or was I? What if it was real, and I’m turning this into something it’s not. I jump out of my car, straighten my shoulders and march to the front door. Just because he paid her off to keep her quiet doesn’t mean he wants to end things with me. Maybe he said that to throw her off the trail. We can still be together.
The second I reach the top step, the door swings open. He licks his lips and steps out of the way as my heart thunders against my ribcage like a bird caught in a fireplace.
“Hi.” I give him a weak smile to which he doesn’t return. Shit. My shoulders slump, and my face drops.
“I assume you saw Heather?” He shoves one hand into his jeans pocket and rakes his other through his hair.
“Yes, she came by the café.”
He swallows hard as if he has a lump in his throat. “I’m sorry.” He coughs and clears his throat. “I’m sorry it ended like this. This is not what I wanted to happen.” He laughs as if he’s in pain, but it’s nothing compared to the ache where my heart used to reside.
The bird escapes, leaving me for dead. He paces the room. “I don’t know what I expected would happen. Sneaking around. Acting like I was a sixteen-year-old punk putting my selfish needs before everyone else. I was wrong, and I take full responsibility for the fallout over our–”
“Stop.” I raise my hand before he says another word. I don’t want to hear what he calls it. Relationship? That’s farfetched. We never went anywhere together. An affair? That sounds tawdry. What I felt was so much more than he did? “Just stop.”
“Right.” Pain etches over his features as he gnaws on his lower lip. I fight back a sob. Why can’t he drag me into his arms and say everything is the same as it was this morning? Why is that so hard? I whimper.
“Listen….” He coughs again and shakes his head. “This is all my fault, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Shit.” He blinks and inhales a ragged breath. “I’ll go.” He lifts his arm as if he’s going to touch me, but I dodge away from him.
“Don’t. Just go. I’ve got nothing else to say to you.”
“This isn’t easy for me.”
“Isn’t it?” I glare at him. Wishing he’d say something. Anything that would imply we weren’t over.
“No. It’s not easy, but it’s what’s for the best. You know that.” He lifts his hand and then drops it back down to his side. “I shouldn’t have pursued you and rushed our future. If I would have….” He trails off and shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. The damage is already done. My intention wasn’t to hurt you.”
I laugh as anger swells in my chest, replacing my heart. “You’re an asshole.”
“Yes, I am.” He grabs the doorknob and twists. “I resigned at the school because–”
“You didn’t need it anymore?” Yes, it’s snarky, but he’s the one that is choosing money over me.
“I can’t keep teaching your class.” He shrugs. “It’s unethical. I didn’t tell them what happened to keep you from suffering any fallout.”
“That’s so sweet of you. It didn’t have anything to do with your reputation and not wanting your name smeared?”
“No…” He presses his lips together and nods. “I deserved that. You’re right. I was the one in the position of power and should have stayed away from you.”