By the time we got to Yale, things felt stuffy and awkward. The only way to handle the goodbyes was to have them and move forward. So, I turned around in the car and looked at Jourdanne in the backseat and gave her a smile. “Ready?”
She nodded, but a tear was forming. Before it could fall, she wiped it away.
Leandro and I started to get out as Jourdanne sat there taking a deep breath. By the time we closed our doors, hers was slowly opening.
Leandro looked down over her with a smile. “Remember, this is what you’ve wanted for so long.”
“I know.” She nodded at his words as tears swelled in her eyes. This time, she was too late to catch one of them. It hit me hard, and I had to look away before I started to cry too. I couldn’t let her hold on too long. She deserved the full college experience, and even the possibility of a normal relationship.
I walked around the car and popped open the trunk. I took out her two bags and set them on the pavement. The parking lot was buzzing that morning. Bunches of parents and guardians were dropping off their kids and unloading countless suitcases and bags.
After closing the trunk, I met Leandro and Jourdanne where they stood.
Without a word, Jourdanne wrapped us both in her arms and held us tight. We all hugged for a moment as she drew in a few shuddered breaths.
This was it. If I didn’t let her go now, I wouldn’t be able to at all. I knew she wanted to keep things the way they’d been throughout the summer, but we had to let go. I had to let go.
“You’ll be late if you don’t hurry.” I didn’t want to be mean, but I had to set her free.
“I mean… I know,” she answered in a muffled voice. We slowly released one another, and she said, “I’m just going to miss you guys, that’s all.”
I drew in a breath, then I looked at Leandro. Without the slightest bit of emotion, I faced Jourdanne and said, “You won’t. You’ll make new friends, and you’ll start your life. And someday, you won’t even think of us at all.”
Jourdanne’s eyes tightened at my words. I was upsetting her, but if that was what it would take to help her move on, then I was willing to do so.
“Matt, you don’t mean that.”
“I do.” My eyes found Leandro again, and for a moment, he looked a little surprised. But after a breath, I think he realized what I was doing.
Jourdanne swallowed hard, then she asked, “Did the summer mean nothing to you?”
It meant everything to me. I couldn’t say that though. I had to get out of the way and allow her to live her dreams. She already said she was hesitant, and that her time with Leandro and me was starting to make her want to stay in the city. Giving up on Yale and her future was the last thing she needed. It was just a spontaneous decision—one I wanted her to make as well, let’s be honest—but she’d worked too hard to stop now.
I looked out to the buildings ahead to keep from feeling the guilt that had started to creep in. “It was nice to not be alone. Leandro’s home more often now, though. Thank you for upholding your end of the contract so well.”
“My end of the… Are you mad at me for something?”
Oh, Jourdanne. If only you understood.
“Yesterday was the last day of the contract. I’m just thanking you, that’s all.” I waited a moment before looking at her. Those gorgeous eyes of hers were about to spill over, and it ripped at my heart.
Jourdanne stared back at me intensely, then she faced her bags. She tugged the backpack up over her shoulder, then she set the suitcase up on its wheels. For a moment, the suitcase turned as if to fall.
“Do you want help?” Leandro asked instinctively.
Jourdanne immediately refused. “No.” She was clearly mad now. She wiped the last tear from her face as quickly as she could, then she shook her head at me. “I don’t want to trouble you guys any more than I already have.”
Leandro came and leaned against the car at my side as Jourdanne headed off to the building ahead. I was still fighting the tears.
“I get why you did that, but was it necessary?” Leandro faced me as he crossed his arms. “Truly?”
I shook my head. “She was going to retract her admission for us.”
Leandro looked down the path at Jourdanne. “Really?”
“Really.”
Leandro took a deep breath, then he got up from the car and popped open the door. “Then let’s leave her to it before she comes back here.”
I nodded, then got into the car alongside him. For a moment, we both watched the buildings. I think we were hoping she would come back down the path for one more hug, but she didn’t. And it was a good thing too. The next chapter of her life was beginning, and it was time to let her go.