Gedeon had excellent night vision and he examined her profile very carefully. There had been no difference in her tone at all. She didn’t sound unduly interested in the answer, but given that he and his cat had been burning so sexually out of control and the condition was worsening each week since returning from San Antonio, there was a chance Meiling was asking the question for a reason.
“It is possible Lola’s leopard went into her first heat and that’s how she started the affair with Atwater. That would make him an even worse shifter morally than I think he is. When a female goes into heat and emerges for the first time, hopefully she finds her true mate. They recognize each other. He claims her and they only are with each other. They remain faithful to each other. Lola wasn’t Atwater’s mate. He never should have led her on like that.”
“I see.”
It was clear she didn’t see.
“Once in a great while, a female is on her first life cycle. When that happens, a shifter who has never found a true mate can claim her if they are compatible. If Lola’s leopard was on her first life cycle, she wouldn’t have known Atwater had a mate.”
“Why do you say ‘once in a great while’?”
Gedeon thought about how best to answer that. “It’s rare to find female shifters who have not been claimed in a previous lifetime. Females will not accept a mate who is not her own.”
“But what you’re saying is that if Lola was in her first life cycle, she would have accepted anyone?”
“Not necessarily anyone, but someone her human companion was also attracted to.”
“Most likely neither of them had good sense because they were experiencing an actual heat for the first time,” Meiling said. “That doesn’t seem very fair to Lola or her leopard.”
“It wasn’t. As I said, Atwater doesn’t seem to have any kind of moral code.”
For the first time, her gaze cut from the river to slide over him. He couldn’t read her, but she chose that moment to look at him. The moment when he was talking about another man’s moral code.
“I look bad with all the sex I have, Meiling. But those women want to have sex. They initiate with me, and they would come back for more if I let them. I don’t. I’m careful to make it clear I don’t have relationships. I don’t have sex with shifters. The sex is with women who frequent various clubs. Women Rene knows. I don’t like it any more than you do, but I don’t know what else to do when Slayer drives us both so hard.”
“I’m not making a judgment on your lifestyle. You were living that way long before I came along, and no doubt you’ll be living that way long after I leave.”
His heart nearly stopped. She said it so casually. Just sort of dropped that little bombshell as if it meant nothing. There was no living if she left. Not with his leopard accelerating its violent behavior. As disciplined as he was, he would never be able to control the cat. Eventually it would break free and kill someone. He couldn’t have that. And that was if he didn’t go insane from lack of sleep first.
“I should fire Rene for allowing that woman into the house,” he snapped.
“You can’t fire Rene.”
He remained stubbornly silent. Rene should have known better.
“Has it occurred to you that Rene saw the state you were in and knew you couldn’t go to the club? He brought the woman to the house to help you?”
As always, Meiling sounded peaceful and calm, driving some of the agitation from him. It didn’t keep his lungs from feeling as if they were burning raw.
“I lost you.”
She sighed. “I thought that at first too. It feels that way, but the truth is, sooner or later we were going to have to face reality. We couldn’t keep on the way we were going.”
Gedeon knew she was right. He was becoming too possessive of her. The longer they were together, the more he didn’t like other males around her. The more he wanted to claim her for himself. He wasn’t certain how long he would have been able to hold out. The minute he made a move on her, it would have ended their relationship in a disastrous way.
“What do you plan on doing, Meiling?” He might as well ask her outright.
“I don’t know yet. We have that meeting today. I want to clear the cases we’ve been working. I’ve got to think things through. You should too. When we’ve both had a little time, we can talk again and figure out what we want to do.”
She sounded so reasonable, he wanted to shake her. He knew her too well. She wasn’t feeling at all the way she was pretending to be. She looked relaxed and indifferent. She acted and sounded that way. But she wasn’t. She’d only looked at him once, that one flick of her eyes, a sideways glance. Nothing since.