“Well, what do you want me to do about it?”
“Stop,” Kady says, pounding her fist on the table. She jabs the fork in the air toward me. “Cora, you’re not helping. Jaxson, you’re an idiot. Look, we’re stuck here for a while, okay? We need to make some money before we can leave. Once we have some funds, we’ll drive out west as far as we can before we settle down and find someplace new to live and start over, okay? Besides, I’m pregnant and I’m sick of being in the car. I need a freaking bed for at least a couple nights.”
“Kady,” I say softly but she shakes her head.
“The pregnant lady has spoken. Now, Jaxson, I want you to make me more of these. And some for Cora too. She gets a little angry when she’s hungry and we’re both running on French fries and dollar menu burgers right now.”
Jaxson grunts and gets back to frying up more frozen pierogis. I watch him for a minute before I wander off to the front porch, just trying to get some fresh air.
I hate the idea of staying here. The lake is beautiful and the woods are lovely, and I feel strangely comfortable with all the trees around, but this place isn’t safe. If Craig knows about it, that means we can be found if he ever decides to come looking. Clearly, bad shit is happening back home in Marietta, and I don’t know what that means for us—whether they’re going to forget we exist or if it means someone’s going to come looking.
“You okay?” Kady steps outside and lowers herself into a wooden rocking chair. She sighs and stretches her legs.
“Worried is all. Worried about you and about Jaxson and everything.”
“Worried about Nolan.” She smiles at my response and holds up a hand. “It’s okay, really.”
“I’m worried about Nolan too,” I admit and look out at the trees, thinking about his mouth against mine and everything I’m missing by being out here instead of there with him. “But this is more important. You’re more important.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“I got you out of there, didn’t I?”
She shrugs when I look back and she’s giving me this sad smile. “You love him though.”
“No, I don’t love him.”
She laughs and points at me. “You’re such a bad liar. You really do.”
“Kady, stop it.”
“Cora, sweetie, just admit it to yourself. You’ll save everyone so much trouble.”
I throw up my hands. “What do you want me to do? Say that I love him? That I think I’ve loved him since we were kids and throwing myself back into his life was a huge mistake because it only woke all those old feelings up and made them fifty times worse? That I’m a total fuck-up and an idiot and I got Momma killed and I’ll get you killed too and all I want to do is run back home to see Nolan again? None of that matters, Kady, not now that you’re pregnant.”
She looks at me for a long moment and I stand there catching my breath. Tears roll down my face and I hate that I’m crying right now. I should be the strong one, but as always, it’s Kady stepping up when things get hard. I wipe my face with my arm and turn away to look at the lake.
“I know you love him,” she says quietly and I hear her get up. She walks over and wraps her arms around me. “And I love you so, so much, Cora, for everything. You didn’t have to do all this, but you did it anyway, and I know you’re hurting. Go back to him.”
I stiffen and peel her away. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Go back to him,” she says, blinking away tears. “Cora, Momma wasn’t your fault. Momma wasn’t anyone’s fault. She got cancer.”
“Someone murdered her.”
“But it didn’t matter. The cancer was terminal. The day she died, she told me the doctors said there was nothing more they could do for her. That it was time to look into hospice care.”
My body goes hollow like my bones open up and leak into the air. “You never told me that.”
“I never wanted you to hurt the way I hurt, but it’s time you understood. Momma was dying no matter what we did, and you can’t keep holding on to this pain. Go back to Georgia, Cora. Go back to Nolan. I’ll be okay here with Jaxson. He’s an idiot, but he means well. We’ll stay safe.”
“No,” I say, trying to process everything and failing. “I can’t just leave you. I can’t go back into a war just because I miss a boy.”
“Not a boy, Cora. He’s a man now and he’s the love of your life. Go home and be with him.”
“No,” I say, backing away from her. “I love you, Kady, and I love your unborn baby. I’m not going anywhere.”