I mean, I wasn’t feeling great.
I’d made them tone down the pain meds so I wasn’t so narcoleptic, so I was feeling some shit now. But from what Dezi said, Toll was doing worse.
I couldn’t help but feel guilty, since everyone concluded that this was personal, that someone was targeting me, that Toll had just been caught up in the situation.
“Yeah. I checked on him earlier, but he’d be happy to see you,” Dezi said, then went in search of, I shit you not, a wheelchair. Because, apparently, he didn’t think I should be walking.
I wasn’t sure if it was because of Dezi’s charm, or his intimidating demeanor, or even my father’s money, but the doctors and nurses appeased him about it, meaning I had to be rolled a few doors down to see Toll.
“Hey,” I said, forcing a smile even though I didn’t feel it, even though it hurt.
Because, yeah, he looked like shit.
Sure, I wasn’t looking so great, either, but he had his head wrapped in gauze, a split lip, a big black eye, and the whites of it were all red.
And he just looked wrecked.
Pale. Bruised. Exhausted.
At one look at me, his jaw went tight, a muscle ticking there as he shook his head.
“That mother fucker,” he growled.
“Don’t let the chair fool you, I’m okay. He’s just being ridiculous,” I told him, waving to Dezi. “Do they have you on the good stuff?” I asked as Dezi rolled me up to the bed.
“They did. I wanted to wean down.”
“You should take it. Why suffer if you don’t have to? And you’re not gonna be on anything near as good when they discharge you. Are they saying how long until that is?”
“Another day or two. The doctor isn’t happy that I still don’t remember. And that I’ve been puking.”
That explained why he looked so pale and tired.
“I’m sorry, Toll,” I said, reaching out to pat his hand.
“The fuck you apologizing for? I’m the one who couldn’t protect you.”
“I’m most likely the reason you got attacked too,” I reasoned, shaking my head.
“Doesn’t matter why,” Toll insisted. “What matters is I couldn’t stop it.”
“Hey, neither of us really fully know what happened,” I said, my own memory of the part where Toll came out being a bit fuzzier than my actual attack. “But, clearly, something made him stop attacking me. And then leave you alone too. So you did something right. It’s just that neither of us are remembering very well right now.”
He ignored that, clearly wanting to dwell on his ideas of needing to ‘protect the girl’ and, in his eyes, failing.
Which, Dezi told me earlier, was a bit of a trend in his life. Apparently, he’d been on a date with Andi when she’d been kidnapped, and he’d been badly injured.
I could see that sort of thing happening twice really fucking with your head, I guess.
“So, you out of here?” he asked.
“Yeah. Dezi wants to play nursemaid at home. He even offered to wear the dress,” I added, getting a playful pinch from the man himself.
“I hear I’m going to be getting taken care of by some chicks known as the girls club,” he said, shaking his head.
“You’re going to love them,” I assured him. “First, they’re all stupid pretty. Second, they are all nice. I mean, some are a little prickly, but—“
“But I’m used to your surly ass so I should be fine,” he offered, and it was the first hint of a smile he offered me right then.
“Exactly.”
“I hear the bar is going to be manned with Henchmen prospects until we come back,” he said, shaking his head. “I’d pay to see that.”
“You know, if this servitude is a part of being involved with this club, maybe you and I should be rethinking our connections to it,” I said. “But I’m glad you have someone to look after you for a while.”
“You too,” Toll said, looking over at Dezi.
And then something unspoken passed between the two men, making them both nod their heads as if they’d just had an in-depth conversation that I wasn’t a part of.
“Alright. I will let you rest,” I said when he tried to fight off a yawn. “Seriously. Take the good stuff while you can. Get some sleep. You’ll feel better.”
“You let yourself get taken care of too,” he demanded. “I know it’s not easy for you, but let it happen.”
And with that, I just… did.
I let it happen.
I allowed my father and Dezi to fuss over me as they helped me get into the car, stopped to pick up snacks along the way, then got me settled in the guest wing of the estate.
It was an area I’d never been to myself, but was complete with three guest bedrooms—all of which were bigger than the entire damn guest house—two and a half baths, and a small seating area with a kitchenette.